I watched you die!
I scarred myself to love another,
and held on deeper than my soul could bear.
It wasn't fair.
Tokyo's Neon Lights
the dazzling streets of Tokyo
did not hide her, shadows crept
alongside her
earrings.
Sparkling rubies dangling, fleshy
lobes illuminated,
in the neon wellspring of bodies.
Creep, creep,
the creepers sweep,
shuddering and gasping at her
body.
teeth gnashing, fingers grasping
folds of cloth in her image.
lips, full and pouted in dread.
the sounds of their footsteps ring through her head,
beats through her breast,
thump thump THUMP.
Demons, beadily staring at her luscious breasts
and thrust tongues of malice toward an open, empty space.
"We should not peep at goblin men,"
but heels of red don't whisper but click.
her neon reflection did not flail or seduce them,
did not squeeze or fool them.
but crumpled and confused them...
Girl in Disaster
shut up, silence,
fear what you have
fear what you have.
my dress catches the stairs,
pulling me down
to the devil.
i can't scream, i can't escape.
what you have, i have forsake
the ice covers every heart in my land
and every word
travels naught
for sins we've shed into our glasses
of champagne
and beds of love, lust, and games.
my lies are the validation i've used
to live where death has won and
seen a life in death
too great for men.
The Shadow of Me
i sit here inside myself
i sit here inside myself
a creature i once knew exists
and i fear its growth.
i fear what it knows.
shudder, gasp, release
you're every demon in me
i want to hide your secrets
in a well i made myself--
high and towering in the skies
violet and jasmine eyes
cast down stares of hope
while yellow scorn my
hands are burnt and red
from tying you down there
i climb down everyday
to make sure we are safe.
hold on to me,
your home is in a land of symphonies,
and fields of bubbling prosperity
so many colors and winds of rain
as long as you stay
in the darkest place.
Cameraman
take my picture
legs sprawled
haphazardly
across the floor.
TAKE my picture
arms outstretched,
begging to be captured
skin white,
matte
shaven...clean.
take MY picture
with my eyes
green with specks of gold.
you are mine, and i am yours
eternally.
take my PICTURE
and let me die with it
my body
unhidden
from you.
my camera man,
capturing me
with your
eyes.
Divination
you say you love me still
but how can i see past your guilt
for blaming you i've died so many deaths
and still i lay in my coffin alone
the thunder rolls over my head, telling me the same story
i've been telling myself
what are your secrets
you hide so close
in a heart that you've covered in rust
like me
you've fallen
and i just want to save you
i've drawn a card
it's letters are etched into my head
but you don't see them
when the doors open and you beg me to
let you in
will you hide them
ghosts in your mind
trying to seize a hold of me
and never let go
with all my powers stripped away
you are nothing but a game
and the deck doesn't show
anything i didn't all ready know
Sugar
her hand rests on a tablecloth
stained with blood, wine, and chocolate bars
i can taste the smell from here
acidic and sweet
poison in the atmosphere
all right, she's dead now
all right, where do we go from here
maybe her ghost in the halls
can hear me
ask her why
moonlight can't hide
her face tonight
despite all her makeup
and feel responsible
her head rests on her dinner plate
like it's just for us to see her there
with her heart hammered into the chair
i could never be like you
i could never be like you
so what do i live for
what do i live for
cold heart, you have a cold heart
that's never beating
i loved your smile, i loved your hair, i loved the way you laughed
and said, "i'm okay, i'm okay"
i never knew
and i couldn't do
what you wanted for us in the end
you asked for sugar in a cup
but i should have known you were looking for something more
Dark Garden
dark garden, bathed in light
so far away and unreachable
every footstep is a savoring of the sweet
delicate balance of earth, regeneration,
and vines.
every tree calls, whispers, a voice
unheard and unspoken for centuries
their place, their time,
unknown by kind
worshiped under the damp, harsh sky
they dance, dancing in circles
rotating their hips in a primal way
unbound by love or fate
too concerned with the shaman to care
chant, chant
the trees and the wind scream
their voices heard for just a minute
before quieting back down
to the low moaned whispers
they never escape
Death's Apprentice
A fae came to take me away,
a lost little heart in a wicked place.
My spirit rose to go with you, my darkest fears,
my deepest gloom.
You, my love, death itself, a harbinger of destruction.
Yet you stand by my side.
Like a brother, like a lover,
like my darkest nights bleeding into an ashtray that only ever held
the ashes of poems I couldn't stand to see.
My pain, my ease.
Contrary to popular belief, you do not creep down corridors or peep
through eldery doors,
You don't for me.
I've seen you in my dreams, as a child, as an older, stranger person.
You stood atop my house, robes billowing, hand gesturing,
lips unseen, whispering.
And I knew you had come for me.
My sweet, sweet death.
My untold path.
My eternal dreams.
I dwell with thee.
Emily
A ghost she is,
and I love her still.
Though she cannot see me.
Her gaze is blocked by a solid fog,
and though her face looms, it is blind.
Her dress is the same that she wore when she died,
and her eyes are the same glazed blue.
I wish I could touch her silver skin,
but it's too far,
yet so close
in her corner.
Emily, my favorite Emily,
you were the one.
Your quill sits there, on your empty desk
where you left me a note.
I thought I'd catch you one last time.
The gray snow drifts across the yard,
and your favorite tree swings down to me.
I imagine you're sitting
on a branch up there, just grinning and swinging your legs.
Your blue dress blows, and your white shirt glows under the
sunrise.
Just wish you'd found heaven,
but we both know you'd never fit in.
My sweet Emily, so strange and everything
I wanted.
Circumstance
The dew leaves glistened with lavender rain,
as the fae started dancing about the glen
we heard a name called out to us.
Mystified, we ventured forth
toward a rose bush none of us had seen before.
It vines were wicked, crooked, and twinkling...
as if evil little stars grew from their misery.
A rose of black grinned fragrantly at us,
and our little hearts beat.
Intoxicated, poisoned.
We dashed to and fro,
we smote those around us.
Our glittering sand became demons entrenched
in our hands.
The land became blackened, burning with coal,
as the rose became a woman.
She hurt us still more.
Her elongated fingers, studded with onyx pearls,
beckoned us forward into her realm of revolt.
We set forth into a dark age where we did not but hurt.
Our children became Changelings, who we greedily replaced,
with slaves of the mortals,
bathed in disgrace.
Centuries passed beneath the crown of the wicked.
Our roses sit in vines fashioned around our heads,
which we add to every year
to mourn our own deaths.
Faded and spectral, wraiths all remain.
In the land of the fairies,
where magic once reigned.
Dire Sympathy
When did I become such a failure,
was it written in the stars?
How could lose all that I'd striven for
in a matter of four months?
And everyday, I sit and I wait for
something else to emerge.
I don't want your pity,
your ego isn't what I'm looking for.
I just want to be a creature one again,
living with a heartbeat and trying to wrestle
fears and doubts.
Don't give me dire sympathy.
I'm just a girl without a real plan.
It seemed that I had one
but then it just disappeared.
You look at me like I'm such a failure,
but you were the one who let me down
before.
The universe is full of regrets,
I don't want one.
Don't label me,
I'm only free, and that's what I deserve.
What is Tearing Us Apart
Fur-lined rugs shroud my gaze.
You stand over my estate, drenched in the perfume of blood.
Murder is never enough!
You take a dagger, lined with jewels,
thrust it into me and I break the rules.
I cry out, for the millionth time.
I never meant to call out your name,
but it hurt so much I swear
it was an honest mistake.
Take my wrists, slash them apart,
I don't care
as long as you understand
it's not just my fault.
Every star bathing you in misery
is just another scapegoat for me.
You pick us like rodents, toss me around.
The stars have their safety but I'm on the ground.
I wish you could see
you're tearing me apart.
Demon in Me
Withered, dank, and musty, an attic worn and cold.
I sit here thinking of my sins, and the sins that I
have sold.
A gentle lady came to me in a dream three nights ago,
with glistening eyes that bathed me drenched
in a totally different world.
I was a demon, a smelly scamp, a creature with no
existence except to reap the accursed souls.
My eyes were black, my skin was white, and I became
the ancient fears of olden days.
I scratched my knobbly fingers across the glass panes
of a child's window,
and I sank my teeth into the heart of a decrepit, lonely
widow.
Her husband, she did cry out for, with her weak arms
outstretched.
I laughed with glee as I ate her bones,
but feared his coming wrath.
Christians did it seem to have a sort of bubbly wrap.
I poked and prodded at each plastic bubble,
a head of a woman and a man's leg.
They lost their lives, when the sheet did pop
and I was satisfied.
When I awoke to find myself trapped within my body,
I shrieked in horror at what I knew, and fled to the dusty attic.
She haunts my dreams, in the leaks and mold,
I see her wicked grin.
For what I fear the most is not her
but what I could have been.
Hi! Glad to see you here if you've managed to get to the end. I hope you enjoyed my poetry, but I understand if you did not. It can be a love-hate kind of thing, I suppose. I love to write stories and poetry, so this is just a way for me to get my feet wet in publishing. I tend to focus on dark, outlandish characters and situations. I enjoy literature, poetry, music, and being weird. This year, I hope to write more poetry, get a corset, dye my hair pink, and publish a decent book with the right format. Ha!
Thank you for your support, and I always appreciate any feedback.
Love, Jessica