Jake Drake, Bully Buster

  Our first-grade teacher was Miss Grimes. Every time she asked a question, Marsha would start shaking all over and waving her hand around and whispering really loud, like this: “Ooh, ooh! I know! I know! I know!”

  And while Marsha was going, “Ooh, ooh,” Kevin looked like his arm was going to pull his whole body right out of his chair and drag it up to the ceiling, like his arm had its own brain or something.

  It was pretty awful. But Miss Grimes, she liked it when Kevin and Marsha tried to be the best at everything. She liked seeing who could get done first with a math problem. She liked letting everyone with a hundred on a spelling quiz line up first for lunch or recess. First grade felt like a big contest, and Miss Grimes smiled at the winners and frowned at the losers.

  When she asked the class a question, most of the time Miss Grimes called on Marsha first. If Marsha was slow or didn’t know something, then Kevin got a turn. If Kevin messed up, then she would call on someone else.

  And I think I know why Miss Grimes always called on Marsha and Kevin. I think it’s because she’s kind of a know-it-all herself. I bet she was just like Marsha back when she was in first grade.

  Second grade wasn’t much better. The only good thing was that my second-grade teacher wasn’t like Miss Grimes. Mrs. Brattle didn’t want school to be a big contest. So she hardly ever called on the know-it-alls.

  All year long, Mrs. Brattle kept saying stuff like, “Kevin and Marsha, please look around at all the other students in this class. They have good ideas, too. Just put your hands down for now.”

  That didn’t stop Kevin and Marsha. The “ooh-oohing” and the arm waving never let up.

  But last year, when I was in third grade, that’s when things got out of control. And I guess it was partly my fault.

  And Mrs. Snavin, my third-grade teacher? She had something to do with it. And so did the principal, Mrs. Karp.

  And so did this guy named Mr. Lenny Cordo over at Wonky’s Super Computer Store. He had a lot to do with it.

  Because Mr. Lenny Cordo came to my school one day back when I was in third grade. And Mr. Lenny Cordo told me that he had a present for me. Something really wonderful. Something I had been wishing for.

  But there was one small catch. Because there’s always at least one small catch.

  And this was the catch: Before Mr. Lenny Cordo could give me this wonderful thing that I wanted so much, I would have to do something.

  I would have to turn myself into Jake Drake, Know-It-All.

  Andrew Clements has been hailed by the New York Times as “a proven master at depicting the quirky details of grade school life.” His many celebrated books include the contemporary classic Frindle and the New York Times bestsellers The Landry News and The Report Card. He and his wife, the parents of four grown children, live in Westborough, Massachusetts.