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    Reality Sandwiches

    Page 4
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      pavement a dark Turkish bath the cornice gapes at midnight

      Seattle! -- department stores full of fur coats and camping

      equipment, mad noontime businessmen in gabardine coats talk-

      ing on streetcorners to keep up the structure, I float past, birds

      cry,

      Salvation Army offers soup on rotting block, six thousand

      beggars groan at a meal of hopeful beans.

      1956

      PSALM III

      To God: to illuminate all men. Beginning with Skid Road.

      Let Occidental and Washington be transformed into a

      higher place, the plaza of eternity.

      Illuminate the welders in shipyards with the brilliance of

      their torches.

      Let the crane operator lift up his arm for joy.

      Let elevators creak and speak, ascending and descending in

      awe.

      Let the mercy of the flower's direction beckon in the eye.

      Let the straight flower bespeak its purpose in straightness --

      to seek the light.

      Let the crooked flower bespeak its purpose in crookedness --

      to seek the light.

      Let the crookedness and straightness bespeak the light.

      Let Puget Sound be a blast of light.

      I feed on your Name like a cockroach on a crumb -- this

      cockroach is holy.

      Seattle 1956

      TEARS

      I'm crying all the time now.

      I cried all over the street when I left the Seattle Wobbly Hall.

      I cried listening to Bach.

      I cried looking at the happy flowers in my backyard, I cried at

      the sadness of the middle-aged trees.

      Happiness exists I feel it.

      I cried for my soul, I cried for the world's soul.

      The world has a beautiful soul.

      God appearing to be seen and cried over. Overflowing heart of

      Paterson.

      Arctic, 1956

      READY TO ROLL

      To Mexico! To Mexico! Down the dovegrey highway, past

      Atomic City police, past the firey border to dream

      cantinas!

      Standing on the sunny metropolitan plateau, stranger prince

      on the street, dollars in my pocket, alone, free --

      genitals and thighs and buttocks under skin and

      leather.

      Music! Taxis! Marijuana in the slums! Ancient sexy parks!

      Continental boulevards in America! Modern downtown

      for a dollar! Dungarees in Les Ambassadeurs! And

      here's a hard brown cock for a quarter!

      Drunkenness! and the long night walks down brown streets,

      eyes, windows, buses, interior charnels behind the

      Cathedral, lost squares and hungry tacos, a calf's head

      cooked and picked apart for meat,

      and the blackened inner roofs and tents of the Thieves'

      Market, street crisscrossed on street, a naked hipster

      labyrinth, stealing, pausing, loitering, noticing drums,

      purchasing nothing

      but a broken aluminum coffee pot with a doll's arm sticking

      up out of the mouth.

      Haha! what do I want? Change of solitude, spectre of

      drunkenness in paranoiac taxicabs, fear and gaiety of

      unknown lovers

      coming around the empty streetcorner dark-eyed and watching

      me make it there alone under the new hip moon.

      S.F. 1956

      WROTE THIS LAST NIGHT

      Listen to the tale of the sensitive car

      who was coughed up out of earth in Pittsburgh.

      She screamed like a Swedish Prime Minister

      on her first flight down the red neon highway,

      she couldn't stand the sirens and blind lights

      of the male cars Fords Oldsmobiles Studebakers

      -- her assembly line foreman had prophecied wild wreck

      on Sunset Boulevard headlights & eyeballs broken fenders &

      bones.

      She rode all over Mexico avoiding Los Angeles

      praying to be an old junkie in a bordertown graveyard

      with rattley doors and yellow broken windowpanes

      bent license plate weak brakes & unsaleable motor

      worn out by the slow buttocks of teen-age nightmare

      panting under the impoverished jissom of the August moon,

      Anything but that final joyride with the mad producer

      and his bombshell intellectual star on the last night up from

      Mexicali.

      SQUEAL

      He rises he stretches he liquefies he is hammered again

      He's divided in shares he litters the floor of the Bourse

      He's cut by adamantine snips and sent by railway car

      Accumulated on the margin by bony Goldfinger has various

      Visions of being an automobile consolidates

      The fortune of spectral lawyers heirs weep over him

      He melts he undergoes remarkable metamorphoses peculiar

      Hallucinations he coughs up debentures beaten

      By immense hammers in a vast loft pours in fire spurts

      Upward in molten forges he levels he dreams and he cools

      And the present adjusted steel squints.

      A hunchback tuberculosis salesman drives him cackling to St

      Louis

      In the rain Hack no will of his own Creep next resale Crank

      San Pedro tomorrow St Joe Squeak will it never end Hohokus --

      Crashes into a dirty locomotive the bastard never

      Mind stock averages decline slightly here's the mechanic

      Blam the junkyard Help the smelter later a merger pressure

      accumulates

      He's had it now Eek he's an airplane Whine he wants to go home

      Suddenly he dives on the market like a bomb.

      1958

      AMERICAN CHANGE

      The first I looked on, after a long time far from home in

      mid Atlantic on a summer day

      Dolphins breaking the glassy water under the blue sky,

      a gleam of silver in my cabin, fished up out of my jangling

      new pocket of coins and green dollars

      -- held in my palm, the head of the feathered indian, old

      Buck-Rogers eagle eyed face, a gash of hunger in the cheek

      gritted jaw of the vanished man begone like a Hebrew

      with hairlock combed down the side -- O Rabbi Indian

      what visionary gleam 100 years ago on Buffalo prairie

      under the molten cloud shot sky, 'the same clear light 10000

      miles in all directions'

      but now with all the violin music of Vienna, gone into

      the great slot machine of Kansas City, Reno --

      The coin seemed so small after vast European coppers

      thick francs leaden pesetas, lira endless and heavy,

      a miniature primeval memorialized in 5c. nickle candy-

      store nostalgia of the redskin, dead on silver coin,

      with shaggy buffalo on reverse, hump-backed little tail

      incurved, head butting against the rondure of Eternity,

      cock forelock below, bearded shoulder muscle folded

      below muscle, head of prophet, bowed,

      vanishing beast of Time, hoar body rubbed clean of

      wrinkles and shining like polished stone, bright metal in my

      forefinger, ridiculous buffalo -- to New York.

      Dime next I found, Minerva, sexless cold & chill, ascend-

      ing goddess of money -- and was it the wife of Wallace Stevens,

      truly?

      and now from the locks flowing the miniature wings of

      speedy thought,

      executive dyke, Minerva, goddess of Madison Avenue,

      forgotten useless dime that can't buy hot dog, dead dime --

      Then we've George Washington, less pri
    mitive, the snub-

      nosed quarter, smug eyes and mouth, some idiot's design of the

      sexless Father,

      naked down to his neck, a ribbon in his wig, high fore-

      head, Roman line down the nose, fat checked, still showing his

      falsetooth ideas -- O Eisenhower & Washington -- O Fathers --

      No movie star dark beauty -- O thou Bignoses --

      Quarter, remembered quarter, 40c. in all -- What'll you

      buy me when I land -- one icecream soda? --

      poor pile of coins, original reminders of the sadness,

      forgotten money of America --

      nostalgia of the first touch of those coins, American

      change,

      the memory in my aging hand, the same old silver reflec-

      tive there,

      the thin dime hidden between my thumb and forefinger

      All the struggles for those coins, the sadness of their re-

      appearance

      my reappearance on those fabled shores

      and the failure of that Dream, that Vision of Money

      reduced to this haunting recollection

      of the gas lot in Paterson where I found half a dollar

      gleaming in the grass --

      I have a $5 bill in my pocket -- it's Lincoln's sour black

      head moled wrinkled, forelocked too, big eared, flags of announce-

      ment flying over the bill, stamps in green and spiderweb black,

      long numbers in racetrack green, immense promise, a

      girl, a hotel, a busride to Albany, a night of brilliant drunk in

      some faraway corner of Manhattan

      a stick of several teas, or paper or cap of Heroin, or a $5

      strange present to the blind.

      Money money, reminder, I might as well write poems to

      you -- dear American money -- O statue of Liberty I ride en-

      folded in money in my mind to you -- and last

      Ahhh! Washington again, on the Dollar, same poetic

      black print, dark words, The United States of America, innumer-

      able numbers

      R956422481 One Dollar This Certificate is Legal Tender

      (tender!) for all debts public and private

      My God My God why have you foresaken me

      Ivy Baker Priest Series 1935 F

      and over, the Eagle, wild wings outspread, halo of the

      Stars encircled by puffs of smoke & flame --

      a circle the Masonic Pyramid, the sacred Swedenborgian

      Dollar America, bricked up to the top, & floating surreal above

      the triangle of holy outstaring Eye sectioned out of the

      aire, shining

      light emitted from the eyebrowless triangle -- and a desert

      of cactus, scattered all around, clouds afar,

      this being the Great Seal of our Passion, Annuit Coeptes,

      Novis Ordo Seculorum,

      the whole surrounded by green spiderwebs designed by

      T-Men to prevent foul counterfeit --

      ONE

      S.S United States, 1958

      'BACK ON TIMES SQUARE, DREAMING OF TIMES SQUARE'

      Let some sad trumpeter stand

      on the empty streets at dawn

      and blow a silver chorus to the

      buildings of Times Square,

      memorial of ten years, at 5 AM, with

      the thin white moon just

      visible

      above the green & grooking McGraw

      Hill offices

      a cop walks by, but he's invisible

      with his music

      The Globe Hotel, Garver lay in

      grey beds there and hunched his

      back and cleaned his needles --

      where I lay many nights on the nod

      from his leftover bloody cottons

      and dreamed of Blake's voice talking --

      I was lonely,

      Garver's dead in Mexico two years,

      hotel's vanished into a parking lot

      And I'm back here -- sitting on the streets

      again --

      The movies took our language, the

      great red signs

      A DOUBLE BILL OF GASSERS

      Teen Age Nightmare

      Hooligans of the Moon

      But we were never nightmare

      hooligans but seekers of

      the blond nose for Truth

      Some old men are still alive, but

      the old Junkies are gone --

      We are a legend, invisible but

      legendary, as prophecied

      NY 1958

      MY SAD SELF

      To Frank O'Hara

      Sometimes when my eyes are red

      I go up on top of the RCA Building

      and gaze at my world, Manhattan --

      my buildings, streets I've done feats in,

      lofts, beds, coldwater flats

      -- on Fifth Ave below which I also bear in mind,

      its ant cars, little yellow taxis, men

      walking the size of specks of wool --

      Panorama of the bridges, sunrise over Brooklyn machine,

      sun go down over New Jersey where I was born

      & Paterson where I played with ants --

      my later loves on 15th Street,

      my greater loves of Lower East Side,

      my once fabulous amours in the Bronx

      faraway --

      paths crossing in these hidden streets,

      my history summed up, my absences

      and ecstasies in Harlem --

      -- sun shining down on all I own

      in one eyeblink to the horizon

      in my last eternity --

      matter is water.

      Sad,

      I take the elevator and go

      down, pondering,

      and walk on the pavements staring into all man's

      plateglass, faces,

      questioning after who loves,

      and stop, bemused

      in front of an automobile shopwindow

      standing lost in calm thought,

      traffic moving up & down 5th Avenue blocks

      behind me

      waiting for a moment when. . . .

      Time to go home & cook supper & listen to

      the romantic war news on the radio

      . . . all movement stops

      & I walk in the timeless sadness of existence,

      tenderness flowing thru the buildings,

      my fingertips touching reality's face,

      my own face streaked with tears in the mirror

      of some window -- at dusk --

      where I have no desire

      for bonbons -- or to own the dresses or Japanese

      lampshades of intellection --

      Confused by the spectacle around me,

      Man struggling up the street

      with packages, newspapers,

      ties, beautiful suits

      toward his desire

      Man, woman, streaming over the pavements

      red lights clocking hurried watches &

      movements at the curb --

      And all these streets leading

      so crosswise, honking, lengthily,

      by avenues

      stalked by high buildings or crusted into slums

      thru such halting traffic

      screaming cars and engines

      so painfully to this

      countryside, this graveyard

      this stillness

      on deathbed or mountain

      once seen

      never regained or desired

      in the mind to come

      where all Manhattan that I've seen must disappear.

      NY 1958

      The music of the spheres -- that ends in Silence

      The Void is a grand piano

      a million melodies

      one after another

      silence in between

      rather an interruption

      of the silence

      Tho the music's beautiful

      Bong Bong Bon----
    -

      gnob

      gnob

      gno-----

      THE circle of forms

      Shrinks

      and disappears

      back into the piano.

      BATTLESHIP NEWSREEL

      I was high on tea in my foc'sle near the forepeak hatch listening to the stars

      envisioning the kamakazis flapping and turning in the soiled clouds

      ackack burst into fire a vast hole ripped out of the bow like a burning lily

      we dumped our oilcans of nitroglycerine among the waving octapi

      dull thud and boom of thunder undersea the cough of the tuburcular machinegunner

      flames in the hold among the cans of ether the roar of battleships far away

      rolling in the sea like whales surrounded by dying ants the screams the captain mad

      Suddenly a golden light came over the ocean and grew large the radiance entered the sky

      a deathly chill and heaviness entered my body I could scarce lift my eye

      and the ship grew sheathed in light like an overexposed photograph fading in the brain.

      1959

      I BEG YOU COME BACK & BE CHEERFUL

      Tonite I got hi in the window of my apartment

      chair at 3: AM

      gazing at Blue incandescent torches

      bright-lit street below

      clotted shadows looming on a new laid pave

      -- as last week Medieval rabbiz

      plodded thru the brown raw

      dirt turned over -- sticks

      & cans

      and tired ladies sitting on spanish

      garbage pails -- in the deadly heat

      -- one month ago

      the fire hydrants were awash --

      the sun at 3 P.M. today in a haze --

      now all dark outside, a cat crosses

      the street silently -- I meow

      and she looks up, and passes a

      pile of rubble on the way

      to a golden shining garbage pail

      (phosphor in the night

      & alley stink)

      (or door-can mash)

      -- Thinking America is a chaos

      Police clog the streets with their anxiety,

      Prowl cars creak & halt:

      Today a woman, 20, slapped her brother

      playing with his infant bricks --

      toying with a huge rock --

      'Don't do that now! the cops! the cops!'

     


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