I don’t know what is going to happen with Jeremy. I don’t know whether he is my “happily ever after” or not. But I know he makes me smile, and I know he accepts me—the “fucked-up, I’ll kill you with your own box cutters” me. And with that revelation, I fall deep, my demons letting me be, my body sinking into the peaceful oblivion that is sleep.
One week later, Mike forwards me an article that was printed in the Statesboro Times. It describes Annie’s rescue by an “unknown person” and states that the police thoroughly searched the trailer and grounds, finding a box with photos and souvenirs from more than eight missing girls, all around Annie’s age. They also found a laptop, the original that Mike had cloned. With the information found on the laptop, they hoped to solve the cases of the missing girls and bring some closure to their families.
I respond to his e-mail, asking him to get me the Thompsons’ bank account number. When he replies, I have him set up an untraceable wire and transfer two hundred grand into their account.
My eyes had picked up on the details. Their van, sagging in the church’s parking lot, duct tape holding the side mirror in place. The faded wear of their thrift store clothing. The shake in Henry Thompson’s voice when he expressed their lack of ransom funds. I had the money, no reason not to share it. It was a small price to pay for the experience. I had left this apartment, wandered among the living. I had helped someone. As much as I may have rescued Annie, she rescued me even more. She made me feel that in all of the rotten of my soul, there still existed goodness, light.
Hope.
There is a knock at the door and I look up, checking my reflection one last time in the mirror, the Betsey Johnson dress fitting perfectly, my hair curling gently over my shoulder, a sparkle in my eyes that I hope is excitement and not insanity.
Today is Friday, and I am doing it. Going on a date with Jeremy. It is ridiculously early, four p.m., and he has promised to have me home by seven. It is dangerous, it is risky. He has strict orders to tackle me to the ground if I start acting odd. But I think, in some small way, this is possible. And I want it. I need it. So, so badly.
Hope.
Hope is dangerous. Hope can be the loose thread that pulls apart your sanity.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Writing this book was so intriguing because it allowed me to dive into the world of camming. In my research, I immersed myself in the industry and was amazed at the women I encountered—ones from all walks of life, many of whom are highly educated and independent, and led previous lives as business professionals. Some turned to camming by choice, others by situation, but all share one overwhelming characteristic: confidence. These women are not ashamed of their profession, they are proud of it.
Although the characters in this book are fictional, the situations and setup of Deanna’s webcam operation are as accurate as I could portray them, and the clients are modeled after different fetishists that frequent the webcam community.
If you are interested in learning more about this industry, you can visit www.webcammingfaq.com for more information.
NOTES
1 Dan Savage, Savage Love, The Stranger, June 21, 2001, http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=7730.
2 Robin Bell, “Homosexual Men and Women,” ABC of Sexual Health, British Medical Journal 318, no. 7181 (February 1999): 452–55; http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1114912/.
3 Eric W. Hickey, Sex Crimes and Paraphilia (Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, 2006), 165, cited in “Foot fetishism,” Wikipedia, last modified November 1, 2013, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_fetishism.
4 Lucy Moore, “Foot Fetishes: Fun or Freaky?,” Student Life, November 4, 2009, http://www.studlife.com/scene/2009/11/04/foot-fetishes-fun-or-freaky.
5 Cameron Kippen, “The History of Footwear—Foot Sex,” November 2004, http://podiatry.curtin.edu.au/fetish.html, cited in “Foot fetishism,” Wikipedia, last modified November 1, 2013, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_fetishism.
6 William A. Henkin and Sybil Holiday, Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely (Los Angeles: Daedalus Publishing Company, 1996).
7 Anil Aggrawal, Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices (Boca Raton: CRC Press, 2009), page 147.
8 See http://www.psychosissucks.ca/whatispsychosis.cfm#isa.
9 “Erotic humiliation,” Wikipedia, last modified November 2, 2013, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_humiliation#Psychology_of_humiliation.
10 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th ed., text revision (Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association, 2013), cited in “Pedophilia,” Wikipedia, last modified October 11, 2013, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia.
11 “Pedophilia,” Psychology Today, September 7, 2006, cited in “Child sexual abuse,” Wikipedia, last modified October 24, 2013, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse#Causal_factors.
12 David M. Fergusson, Michael T. Lynskey, L. John Horwood, “Childhood Sexual Abuse and Pychiatric Disorder in Young Adulthood: I. Prevalence of Sexual Abuse and Factors Associated with Sexual Abuse,” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 35, no. 10 (October 1996): 1355–64, cited in “Child sexual abuse,” Wikipedia, last modified October 24, 2013, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse#Demographics.
13 E. J. Dickson, “‘Do it again or I’m gonna you’re your wife’: Inside the World of Financial Domination,” Salon, June 29, 2013, www.salon.com/2013/06/30/do_it_again_or_i’m_gonna_call_your_wife”_inside_the_world_of_financial_domination/.
14 Aaron Sankin, “Inside the Twisted World of the Internet’s Priciest Fetish,” The Daily Dot, September 11, 2013, http://www.dailydot.com/lifestyle/findom-kinky-fetish-domination-extortion-blackmail/.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book is my wicked baby. It is devious, and naughty, and often completely disobeyed any orders I gave it. It also has a love-hate relationship with many individuals. It takes a certain type of person to “get” it, and I am overwhelmed with love for the group that worked on this book. They all embraced the individuality that was The Girl in 6E and made it even better than I ever dreamed it could be.
To Redhook’s art, marketing, and publicity teams. You designed a cover I absolutely love and have constantly surprised me with your innovative ideas, creative approaches, and collaborative attitude. You are an incredible group, and it has been a joy to work with you.
To Susan Barnes. You have taken this book to a level that I love. I appreciate your fearlessness in embracing this book, in taking it deeper and darker. Your editorial changes have taken it to the place it needed to go, and I couldn’t be prouder of the end result. I can’t wait to work with you on the next one. Thank you for your dedication to this book and for appreciating what it is and letting it stay that way.
To Maura Kye-Casella, my agent. Thank you for your hard work with this book and for your passion and fire for it. You’ve been with me every step of the way, and I appreciate it immensely. Here’s to the next hundred.
And last but not least, the readers. Social media allows me the opportunity to connect with some of you. But I will never get a chance to speak to all of you, and hope that this note reaches those I have not. Thank you for spending time with this book. Please pass it on to your friends and family, please reread it until the pages are worn and the cover is falling off. And please know that I appreciate you.
Sincerely,
Alessandra
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A. R. Torre is an open pseudonym for Alessandra Torre. She writes contemporary erotica and published her first book, Blindfolded Innocence, in 2012. Her first book, Blindfolded Innocence, was published in 2012. The sequel, Masked Innocence, was published in winter 2013.
Alessandra lives in the southern United States and is married, with one young child. She enjoys reading, spending time with her family, and playing with her dogs. Her favorite authors include Lisa Gardner, Dean Koontz, and J
ennifer Crusie. You can connect with Alessandra through Twitter, her Facebook fan page, and at www.alessandratorre.com.
ALSO BY A. R. TORRE
Blindfolded Innocence
The Diary of Brad De Luca
The Dumont Diaries
Sex. Love. Repeat.
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Welcome
Dedication
Preface
Wait Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4: Annie
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7: Annie
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11: Annie
Chapter 12
Chapter 13: Jeremy
Chapter 14
Chapter 15: Annie
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22: Jeremy
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25: Annie
Chapter 26: Jeremy
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30: Jeremy
Chapter 31: Annie
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37: Jeremy
Chapter 38: Jeremy
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45: Jeremy
snapChapter 46: Annie
Chapter 47
Chapter 48: Carolyn Thompson
Chapter 49
Chapter 50: Carolyn Thompson
Chapter 51
GO.Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61: Annie
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68: Carolyn Thompson
Chapter 69
Chapter 70: Carolyn Thompson
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73: Annie
Chapter 74: Henry Thompson
Chapter 75: Carolyn Thompson
Chapter 76: Carolyn Thompson
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81: Annie
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Note from the Author
Notes
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by A. R. Torre
Newsletters
Copyright
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright © 2014 by A. R. Torre
Cover design by Wendy Chen.
Cover image © Shutterstock.
Cover copyright © 2014 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitutes unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
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First Redhook ebook edition: January 2014
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ISBN 978-0-316-40442-6
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