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    Tales From the Perilous Realm

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      but People slam their doors in fear,

      whenever they hear my feet.

      O how I wish that they were neat,

      and my hands were not so rough!

      Yet my heart is soft, my smile is sweet,

      and my cooking good enough.’

      ‘Come, come!’ he thought, ‘this will not do!

      I must go and find a friend;

      a-walking soft I’ll wander through

      the Shire from end to end.’

      Down he went, and he walked all night

      with his feet in boots of fur;

      to Delving he came in the morning light,

      when folk were just astir.

      He looked around, and who did he meet

      but old Mrs Bunce and all

      with umbrella and basket walking the street;

      and he smiled and stopped to call:

      ‘Good morning, ma’am! Good day to you!

      I hope I find you well?’

      But she dropped umbrella and basket too,

      and yelled a frightful yell.

      Old Pott the Mayor was strolling near;

      when he heard that awful sound,

      he turned all purple and pink with fear,

      and dived down underground.

      The Lonely Troll was hurt and sad:

      ‘Don’t go!’ he gently said,

      but old Mrs Bunce ran home like mad

      and hid beneath her bed.

      The Troll went on to the market-place

      and peeped above the stalls;

      the sheep went wild when they saw his face,

      and the geese flew over the walls.

      Old Farmer Hogg he spilled his ale,

      Bill Butcher threw a knife,

      and Grip his dog, he turned his tail

      and ran to save his life.

      The old Troll sadly sat and wept

      outside the Lockholes gate,

      and Perry-the-Winkle up he crept

      and patted him on the pate.

      ‘O why do you weep, you great big lump?

      You’re better outside than in!’

      He gave the Troll a friendly thump,

      and laughed to see him grin.

      ‘O Perry-the-Winkle boy,’ he cried,

      ‘come, you’re the lad for me!

      Now if you’re willing to take a ride,

      I’ll carry you home to tea.’

      He jumped on his back and held on tight,

      and ‘Off you go!’ said he;

      and the Winkle had a feast that night,

      and sat on the old Troll’s knee.

      There were pikelets, there was buttered toast,

      and jam, and cream, and cake,

      and the Winkle strove to eat the most,

      though his buttons all should break.

      The kettle sang, the fire was hot,

      the pot was large and brown,

      and the Winkle tried to drink the lot,

      in tea though he should drown.

      When full and tight were coat and skin,

      they rested without speech,

      till the old Troll said: ‘I’ll now begin

      the baker’s art to teach,

      the making of beautiful cramsome bread,

      of bannocks light and brown;

      and then you can sleep on a heather-bed

      with pillows of owlet’s down.’

      ‘Young Winkle, where’ve you been?’ they said.

      ‘I’ve been to a fulsome tea,

      and I feel so fat, for I have fed

      on cramsome bread,’ said he.

      ‘But where, my lad, in the Shire was that?

      Or out in Bree?’ said they.

      But Winkle he up and answered flat:

      ‘I aint a-going to say.’

      ‘But I know where,’ said Peeping Jack,

      ‘I watched him ride away:

      he went upon the old Troll’s back

      to the hills of Faraway.’

      Then all the People went with a will,

      by pony; cart, or moke,

      until they came to a house in a hill

      and saw a chimney smoke.

      They hammered upon the old Troll’s door.

      ‘A beautiful cramsome cake

      O bake for us, please, or two, or more;

      O bake!’ they cried, ‘O bake!’

      ‘Go home, go home!’ the old Troll said.

      ‘I never invited you.

      Only on Thursdays I bake my bread,

      and only for a few.’

      ‘Go home! Go home! There’s some mistake.

      My house is far too small;

      and I’ve no pikelets, cream, or cake:

      the Winkle has eaten all!

      You Jack, and Hogg, old Bunce and Pott

      I wish no more to see.

      Be off! Be off now all the lot!

      The Winkle’s the boy for me!’

      Now Perry-the-Winkle grew so fat

      through eating of cramsome bread,

      his weskit bust, and never a hat

      would sit upon his head;

      for Every Thursday he went to tea,

      and sat on the kitchen floor,

      and smaller the old Troll seemed to be,

      as he grew more and more.

      The Winkle a Baker great became,

      as still is said in song;

      from the Sea to Bree there went the fame

      of his bread both short and long.

      But it weren’t so good as the cramsome bread;

      no butter so rich and free,

      as Every Thursday the old Troll spread

      for Perry-the-Winkle’s tea.

      9

      THE MEWLIPS

      The shadows where the Mewlips dwell

      Are dark and wet as ink,

      And slow and softly rings their bell,

      As in the slime you sink.

      You sink into the slime, who dare

      To knock upon their door,

      While down the grinning gargoyles stare

      And noisome waters pour.

      Beside the rotting river-strand

      The drooping willows weep,

      And gloomily the gorcrows stand

      Croaking in their sleep.

      Over the Merlock Mountains a long and weary way,

      In a mouldy valley where the trees are grey,

      By a dark pool’s borders without wind or tide,

      Moonless and sunless, the Mewlips hide.

      The cellars where the Mewlips sit

      Are deep and dank and cold

      With single sickly candle lit;

      And there they count their gold.

      Their walls are wet, their ceilings drip;

      Their feet upon the floor

      Go softly with a squish-flap-flip,

      As they sidle to the door.

      They peep out slyly; through a crack

      Their feeling fingers creep,

      And when they’ve finished, in a sack

      Your bones they take to keep.

      Beyond the Merlock Mountains, a long and lonely road,

      Through the spider-shadows and the marsh of Tode,

      And through the wood of hanging trees and the gallowsweed,

      You go to find the Mewlips—and the Mewlips feed.

      10

      OLIPHAUNT

      Grey as a mouse,

      Big as a house,

      Nose like a snake,

      I make the earth shake,

      As I tramp through the grass;

      Trees crack as I pass.

      With horns in my mouth

      I walk in the South,

      Flapping big ears.

      Beyond count of years

      I stump round and round,

      Never lie on the ground,

      Not even to die.

      Oliphaunt am I,

      Biggest of all,

      Huge, old, and tall.

      If ever you’d met me,

      You wouldn’t forget me.

      If you never do,

      You won’t think I’m true;

    &
    nbsp; But old Oliphaunt am I,

      And I never lie.

      11

      FASTITOCALON

      Look, there is Fastitocalon!

      An island good to land upon,

      Although ’tis rather bare.

      Come, leave the sea! And let us run,

      Or dance, or lie down in the sun!

      See, gulls are sitting there!

      Beware!

      Gulls do not sink.

      There they may sit, or strut and prink:

      Their part it is to tip the wink,

      If anyone should dare

      Upon that isle to settle,

      Or only for a while to get

      Relief from sickness or the wet,

      Or maybe boil a kettle.

      Ah! foolish folk, who land on HIM,

      And little fires proceed to trim

      And hope perhaps for tea!

      It may be that His shell is thick,

      He seems to sleep; but He is quick,

      And floats now in the sea

      With guile;

      And when He hears their tapping feet,

      Or faintly feels the sudden heat,

      With smile

      HE dives,

      And promptly turning upside down

      He tips them off, and deep they drown,

      And lose their silly lives

      To their surprise.

      Be wise!

      There are many monsters in the Sea,

      But none so perilous as HE,

      Old horny Fastitocalon,

      Whose mighty kindred all have gone,

      The last of the old Turtle-fish.

      So if to save your life you wish

      Then I advise:

      Pay heed to sailors’ ancient lore,

      Set foot on no uncharted shore!

      Or better still,

      Your days at peace on Middle-earth

      In mirth

      Fulfil!

      12

      CAT

      The fat cat on the mat

      may seem to dream

      of nice mice that suffice

      for him, or cream;

      but he free, maybe,

      walks in thought

      unbowed, proud, where loud

      roared and fought

      his kin, lean and slim,

      or deep in den

      in the East feasted on beasts

      and tender men.

      The giant lion with iron

      claw in paw,

      and huge ruthless tooth

      in gory jaw;

      the pard dark-starred,

      fleet upon feet,

      that oft soft from aloft

      leaps on his meat

      where woods loom in gloom—

      far now they be,

      fierce and free,

      and tamed is he;

      but fat cat on the mat

      kept as a pet,

      he does not forget.

      13

      SHADOW-BRIDE

      There was a man who dwelt alone,

      as day and night went past

      he sat as still as carven stone,

      and yet no shadow cast.

      The white owls perched upon his head

      beneath the winter moon;

      they wiped their beaks and thought him dead

      under the stars of June.

      There came a lady clad in grey

      in the twilight shining:

      one moment she would stand and stay,

      her hair with flowers entwining.

      He woke, as had he sprung of stone,

      and broke the spell that bound him;

      he clasped her fast, both flesh and bone,

      and wrapped her shadow round him.

      There never more she walks her ways

      by sun or moon or star;

      she dwells below where neither days

      nor any nights there are.

      But once a year when caverns yawn

      and hidden things awake,

      they dance together then till dawn

      and a single shadow make.

      14

      THE HOARD

      When the moon was new and the sun young

      of silver and gold the gods sung:

      in the green grass they silver spilled,

      and the white waters they with gold filled.

      Ere the pit was dug or Hell yawned,

      ere dwarf was bred or dragon spawned,

      there were Elves of old, and strong spells

      under green hills in hollow dells

      they sang as they wrought many fair things,

      and the bright crowns of the Elf-kings.

      But their doom fell, and their song waned,

      by iron hewn and by steel chained.

      Greed that sang not, nor with mouth smiled,

      in dark holes their wealth piled,

      graven silver and carven gold:

      over Elvenhome the shadow rolled.

      There was an old dwarf in a dark cave,

      to silver and gold his fingers clave;

      with hammer and tongs and anvil-stone

      he worked his hands to the hard bone,

      and coins he made, and strings of rings,

      and thought to buy the power of kings.

      But his eyes grew dim and his ears dull

      and the skin yellow on his old skull;

      through his bony claw with a pale sheen

      the stony jewels slipped unseen.

      No feet he heard, though the earth quaked,

      when the young dragon his thirst slaked,

      and the stream smoked at his dark door,

      The flames hissed on the dank floor,

      and he died alone in the red fire;

      his bones were ashes in the hot mire.

      There was an old dragon under grey stone;

      his red eyes blinked as he lay alone.

      His joy was dead and his youth spent,

      he was knobbed and wrinkled, and his limbs bent

      in the long years to his gold chained;

      in his heart’s furnace the fire waned.

      To his belly’s slime gems stuck thick,

      silver and gold he would snuff and lick:

      he knew the place of the least ring

      beneath the shadow of his black wing.

      Of thieves he thought on his hard bed,

      and dreamed that on their flesh he fed,

      their bones crushed, and their blood drank:

      his ears drooped and his breath sank.

      Mail-rings rang. He heard them not.

      A voice echoed in his deep grot:

      a young warrior with a bright sword

      called him forth to defend his hoard.

      His teeth were knives, and of horn his hide,

      but iron tore him, and his flame died.

      There was an old king on a high throne:

      his white beard lay on knees of bone;

      his mouth savoured neither meat nor drink,

      nor his ears song; he could only think

      of his huge chest with carven lid

      where pale gems and gold lay hid

      in secret treasury in the dark ground;

      its strong doors were iron-bound.

      The swords of his thanes were dull with rust,

      his glory fallen, his rule unjust,

      his halls hollow, and his bowers cold,

      but king he was of elvish gold.

      He heard not the horns in the mountain-pass,

      he smelt not the blood on the trodden grass,

      but his halls were burned, his kingdom lost;

      in a cold pit his bones were tossed.

      There is an old hoard in a dark rock,

      forgotten behind doors none can unlock;

      that grim gate no man can pass.

      On the mound grows the green grass;

      there sheep feed and the larks soar,

      and the wind blows from the sea-shore.

      The old hoard the Night shall keep,

      while earth waits and the Elves sleep.

      15

    &nbs
    p; THE SEA-BELL

      I walked by the sea, and there came to me,

      as a star-beam on the wet sand,

      a white shell like a sea-bell;

      trembling it lay in my wet hand.

      In my fingers shaken I heard waken

      a ding within, by a harbour bar

      a buoy swinging, a call ringing

      over endless seas, faint now and far.

      Then I saw a boat silently float

      on the night-tide, empty and grey.

      ‘It is later than late! Why do we wait?’

      I leapt in and cried: ‘Bear me away!’

      It bore me away, wetted with spray,

      wrapped in a mist, wound in a sleep,

      to a forgotten strand in a strange land.

      In the twilight beyond the deep

      I heard a sea-bell swing in the swell,

      dinging, dinging, and the breakers roar

      on the hidden teeth of a perilous reef;

      and at last I came to a long shore.

      White it glimmered, and the sea simmered

     


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