strobe-light honey (US black teen slang) a woman who seems attractive in flickering light but not otherwise
ZEPPELINS
One aspect in particular often receives close attention:
bathycolpian (1825) having a deep cleavage
headlamps (UK slang early 20C) female breasts: this was when large, raised car headlights were the norm (a century earlier the common expression was barges)
dead heat in a Zeppelin race (UK slang) an admiring description of large breasts
fore-buttocks (Pope: The Dunciad 1727) breasts
Cupid’s kettledrums (18C) breasts
SUPERSIZE ME
So how do you get your feelings across? Do fries go with that shake? was a phrase called out by black men in 1970s America to a passing woman they fancied; while the object of admiration might mutter to her friend: He can put his shoes under my bed anytime…
boombaloomba (Australian slang) an expression of a man’s attraction to a woman
look that needs suspenders (1940s) a very interested glance at a woman (the suspenders were needed to keep the man’s eyeballs attached to their sockets)
HUNTER DITHERERS
Not that everyone finds it easy to be so forward:
stick-up (Wiltshire) to make the first tentative advances towards courting
dangle (late 18C) to follow a woman without actually addressing her
quirkyalone (US slang 1999) someone who just wants the right person to come along at the right time even if that means waiting
FAINT HEART
Sometimes one just has to take the risk and get a bit proactive:
tapper (1950s) a boy who repeatedly pestered a girl for a date
wingwoman (US slang from the film Top Gun 1986) a professional female matchmaker who escorts a man to a bar or club, engages in light conversation to draw in other females, and then withdraws
strike breaker (1920s) a young woman who was ready to date her friend’s beau when a couple’s romance was coming to an end
rabbit’s-kiss (Anglo-Manx) a penalty in the game of ‘forfeits’ in which a man and woman have each to nibble the same piece of straw until their lips meet
DELIGHTFUL
Until 1958 debutantes and their mothers exchanged information about the respectable young men to whom they were introduced by using a special code:
FU Financially Unsound
MTF Must Touch Flesh
MSC Makes Skin Crawl
NSIT Not Safe In Taxis
VVSITPQ Very, Very Safe In Taxis, Probably Queer
THE WILDER SHORES OF LOVE
As homosexuality was illegal in the UK until 1967, the secret language of Polari was used to disguise gay subculture from the disapproving gaze of the law. It was originally used by circus and fairground performers who were equally keen to communicate with each other without their audience understanding. Drawn from Italian, Yiddish, Cockney rhyming slang and full of backwards words (such as ecaf for face) Polari provided various terms that we all use today, such as drag, camp and bimbo, as well as some less well-known but equally colourful expressions:
omi-polone a gay man (literally man-woman; a lesbian was polone-omi, a woman-man)
alamo hot for him
basket the bulge of male genitals through trousers
naff awful, dull, bad (said to stand for Not Available For F***ing)
CHEAP DATE
Whatever your proclivities, there are numerous reasons why one should beware of giving too much too soon:
couch cootie (US 1920s) a poor or miserly man who prefers to court a woman in her own house than take her out on the town
flat-wheeler (US college slang 1920s) a young man whose idea of entertaining a girl is to take her for a walk
cream-pot love (b.1811) professed by insincere young men to dairymaids, to get cream and other goods from them
GETTING DOWN TO IT
In the less permissive 1950s, a Nottingham goodnight was the phrase used of a courting couple who had got back from their date, and then slammed the door and said ‘goodnight’ loudly before retiring quietly to the sofa, hoping they would not be disturbed for some time…
suaviation (1656) a love kiss
cow-kissing (US slang mid 19C) kissing with much movement of the tongues and lips
lallygagger (1920s) a courting male who liked to kiss his sweetheart in hallways
bundling (b.1811) a man and a woman sleeping in the same bed, he with his clothes on, and she with her petticoat on
COUNTRY LOVING
But if the weather’s good, why bother to go home at all?
sproag (Scotland late 16C) to run among the haystacks after the girls at night
to give a girl a green gown (late 16C) to tumble her onto the grass
bunting time (1699) when the grass is high enough to hide young men and maids courting
boondock (Tennessee campus slang b.1950) to neck, pet or make love in an automobile
gulch (Newfoundland 1895) to frequent a sheltered hollow to engage in sexual intimacy
SEALED WITH A LOVING KISS – LOVE LETTER ACRONYMS
During the Second World War all mail was opened and read by the official Censor. So acronyms of places written on the backs of envelopes were used to convey secret messages of love (and lust) between servicemen and their wives or girlfriends:
HOLLAND Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
MEXICO CITY May Every Kiss I Can Offer Carry Itself To You
MALAYA My Ardent Lips Await Your Arrival
CHINA Come Home I Need Affection
NORWICH (K)nickers Off Ready When I Come Home
BURMA Be Undressed Ready My Angel
EGYPT Eager to Grab Your Pretty Tits
SIAM Sexual Intercourse At Midnight
ALL LOVED UP
Limerence (US Connecticut 1977) is the word for that initial exhilarating rush of falling in love, the state of ‘being in love’. During that time the besotted of either sex should be careful not to deff out, the American slang for women who immediately lose contact with their female friends after acquiring a steady boyfriend. And this is just one of the pitfalls of sudden love:
fribbler (1712) one who professes rapture for a woman, but dreads her consent
batmobiling (US slang) putting up protective emotional shields just as a relationship enters an intimate, vulnerable stage (with reference to the car’s retracting armour)
THEY FLEE FROM ME
Once things start to go wrong, the slide can be all too rapid…
to wear the willow (late 16C) to have been abandoned by one’s lover
… so do try and avoid being cynical…
sorbet sex (US slang popularized by Sex and the City) a casual sexual relationship undertaken in the period between two more serious relationships
pull a train (US slang 1965) sexual intercourse with a succession of partners (like a string of boxcars, they have to be coupled and uncoupled)
… or sentimental…
desiderium (Swift: letter to Pope 1715) a yearning for a thing one once had but has lost
anacampserote (1611) a herb that can bring back departed love
DROIT DE SEIGNEUR
Take heart from the fact that anything goes; and the history of love tells of some decidedly odd arrangements:
gugusse (early 1880s) an effeminate youth who frequents the private company of priests
panmixis (1889) a population in which random mating takes place
Shunamitism (b.1901) the practice of an old man sleeping with, but not necessarily having sex with, a young woman to preserve his youth (the rationale was that the heat of the young woman would transfer to the old man and revitalize him, based on the Biblical story of King David and Abishag)
HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ME
Just beware the types for whom lovemaking has become habitual (or even professional):
mud-honey (Tennyson: Maud 1855) the dirty pleasures of men about town
cougar (Canadian slang 2005) an old
er woman on the prowl, preferably for a younger man
lovertine (1603) someone addicted to sex
play checkers (US gay jargon 1960s) to move from seat to seat in a cinema in search of a receptive sex partner
twopenny upright (UK slang 1958) the charge made by a prostitute for an act of sexual intercourse standing up out of doors
WORD JOURNEYS
boudoir (French 18C) a place to sulk or pout in
friend (Old English) a lover; then (12C) a relative or kinsman
buxom (12C) obedient, compliant; then (16C) plump and comely
harem (17C from Turkish via Arabic) forbidden to others; then sacred to the women and their apartments
WITTOLS AND BEER BABIES
Marriage and family life
Marriage halves our griefs,
doubles our joys,
and quadruples our expenses
(1902–4)
However giddy and capricious at first, it’s certainly true that Love moves, inexorably, towards the recognized and the formalized:
wooer-bab (Burns: Halloween 1785) a garter tied below the knee of a young man as a sign that he was about to make an offer of marriage
subarrhation (Swinburne: Spousals 1686) a betrothal accomplished by the man’s showering presents on his incipient bride
acquaintance (Shropshire) a fiancé/e
maiden-rent (17C) a fee paid by every tenant in the Welsh manor of Builth at their marriage (given to the lord for his omitting the ancient custom of marcheta, whereby he spent the first night with his tenant’s new wife)
gluepot (b.1811) a parson (from joining men and women together in matrimony)
IN THE PAPERS
In the UK, people of a certain class have traditionally advertised marriage, just as they do births and deaths, with an announcement in their newspaper of choice. This trio defining a person’s life is colloquially known as hatched, matched and dispatched (with some believing that these really are the only times your name should appear in the papers). In Australia, similar announcements are known as yells, bells and knells. But though established through long custom, marriage has come in many varied and interesting forms…
paranymph (1660) the best man or bridesmaid at a wedding
levirate (1725) the custom requiring a man to marry his brother’s widow
punalua (1889) a group marriage in which wives’ sisters and husbands’ brothers were considered spouses
adelphogamy (1926) a form of marriage in which brothers share a wife or wives
jockum-gagger (1797) a man living on the prostitution of his wife
bitch’s blind (US slang) a wife who acts as a cover for a homosexual male
opsigamy (1824) marrying late in life
VIRAGO
Maritality (1812) is a charming word, meaning ‘the excessive affection a wife feels for her husband’, while levament (1623) describes one of the best aspects of a good marriage, ‘the comfort a man has from his wife’. But in general the words and phrases our language has thrown up speak of more demanding realities, with wives all too often in the frame:
loudspeaker (underworld slang 1933) a wife
alarm clock (US slang 1920s) a nagging woman
tenant at will (late 18C) one whose wife arrives at the alehouse to make him come home
ten commandments (mid 15C) the ten fingers and thumbs especially of a wife
curtain-lecture (b.1811) a reproof given by a wife to her husband in bed
cainsham smoke (1694) the tears of a man who is beaten by his wife (deriving from a lost story relating to Keynsham, near Bristol)
AFTERPLAY
Love and marriage, the song goes, go together ‘like horse and carriage’. So why doesn’t fidelity always fit so easily into the equation?
wittol (15C) a man who is aware of his wife’s unfaithfulness but doesn’t mind or acquiesces
court of assistants (late 18C) the young men with whom young wives, unhappy in their marriages to older men, are likely to seek solace
to pick a needle without an eye (West Indian) of a young woman, to give oneself in marriage to a man whom one knows will be of no use as a sexual partner
gandermooner (1617) a husband who strays each month, during the time of the month when his wife is ‘unavailable’
stumble at the truckle-bed (mid 17C) to ‘mistake’ the maid’s bed for one’s wife’s
UP THE DUFF
The desire to expand the family is all too natural; though the actual circumstances of conception may vary considerably:
beer babies (Sussex) babies sired when the man was drunk
Band-Aid baby (UK slang) a child conceived to strengthen a faltering relationship
basting (UK slang 2007) being with a gay male friend who offers to give the baby a woman longs for
sooterkin (1658) an imaginary kind of birth attributed to Dutch women from sitting over their stoves
THE STORK DESCENDS
In parts of America they say you have swallowed a watermelon seed when you become pregnant. In Britain, children were once told that the new baby boy in the family had been found under the gooseberry bush, while the girl was found in the parsley bed:
omphalomancy (1652) divination by counting the knots in the umbilical cord of her first born to predict the number of children a mother will have
nom de womb (US slang 2005) a name used by an expectant parent to refer to their unborn child
infanticipate (US 1934) to be expecting a child
quob (b.1828) to move as the embryo does in the womb; as the heart does when throbbing
PRIVATE VIEWS
As soon as Baby appears, of course, there is much excitement. Relatives and friends crowd round to check out the new arrival, and any gossip about the timing of the pregnancy melts away:
barley-child (Shropshire) a child born in wedlock, but which makes its advent within six months of marriage (alluding to the time which elapses between barley sowing and barley harvest)
jonkin (Yorkshire) a tea-party given to celebrate a birth of a child
crying-cheese (Scotland) a ritual where cheese was given to neighbours and visitors when a child was born
FIRST STEPS
Then there is the long, slow process of bringing up the little darling; beset with many dangers, but not, fortunately, as many as in the past…
vagitus (Latin 17C) a new-born child’s cry
marriage music (late 17C) the crying of children
blow-blow (Jamaican English 1955) babbling baby-talk
chrisom (c.1200) a child that dies within a month of its birth (so called from the chrisom-cloth, anointed with holy unguent, which the children wore until they were christened)
quiddle (Midlands) to suck a thumb
gangrel (1768) a child just beginning to walk
dade (Shropshire) to lead children when learning to walk
CHIPS OFF THE OLD BLOCK
It’s an exhausting time, but hopefully rewarding, whatever the extra commitments:
antipelargy (1656) the love of children for their parents
philostorgy (1623) natural affection, such as that between parents and children
butter-print (Tudor–Stuart) a child bearing the stamp of its parents’ likeness
stand pad (Cockney) to beg in crowded streets with a written statement round one’s neck, such as ‘wife and five kids to support’
sandwich generation (Canadian slang) those caring for young children and elderly parents at the same time (usually ‘baby boomers’ in their 40s or 50s)
POPPING OFF
Sadly, not all men seem able to stay the course:
zoo daddy (US slang) a divorced father who rarely sees his child or children (he takes his kids to the zoo when exercising his visiting rights)
baby fathers (Jamaican English 1932) males who abandon their partner and offspring
goose father (US slang 2005) a father wh
o lives alone having sent his spouse and children to a foreign country to learn English or do some other form of advanced study
jacket (Jamaican English 2007) a man tested and proven not to be the father of the children said to be his
EARLY PROMISE
And what a course it can prove to be…
glaikut (Aberdeenshire) of a child too fond of its mother and refusing to be parted from her at any time
chippie-burdie (Scotland) a promise made to a child to pacify them
killcrop (1652) a child who is perpetually hungry
vuddle (Hampshire and Wiltshire) to spoil a child by injudicious petting
ankle-sucker (Worcestershire) a child or person dependent on others
COLTISH
Not necessarily made any easier as the offspring grow older…
dandiprat (1583) an urchin
daddle (Suffolk) to walk like a young child trying to copy its father
liggle (East Anglian) to carry something too heavy to be carried easily (e.g. of a child with a puppy)
airling (1611) a person who is both young and thoughtless
… though getting them outside in the fresh air is always a good plan…
grush (Hiberno-English) of children, to scramble for coins and other small gifts thrown at them
duck’s dive (Newfoundland) a boy’s pastime of throwing a stone into the water without making a splash
poppinoddles (Cumberland 1885) a boyish term for a somersault