down and breathe normally. As if Chris is guarding
Alex, he steps forward to challenge the man.
“I’d leave now, if I were you,” Chris tells the
intruder. He is quite a few inches taller than the
guy, but his physique doesn’t give off the
threatening bodyguard vibe.
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The chap’s companion starts to drag him away
again. He retreats but not without the last word.
“Hope you’re proud of what you’ve done.” He
turns to his partner. “Let’s go. He’s not worth it.”
Chris glowers at them as they walk away, then
puts his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “All right, mate?”
Alex relaxes under Chris’s soothing touch, but his
heart thumps fast.
“Yeah. It doesn’t get easier even though I’ve heard
it a thousand times.” He covers Chris’s hand with
his; the connection feels good. He needs to know
what it’s like to entwine their hands. As if Chris can
hear Alex’s inner voice, he slides his fingers between
Alex’s.
“I don’t think this is going to work, mate. I’m
sorry I’ve spoilt your fun. Shall we go home?” Alex
reluctantly removes his hand. He’s too chicken to
rely on the entwinement for his sanity.
“Don’t let them get to you. Come on. Let’s stay for
a bit.” Chris knocks back the rest of his whiskey.
“How about…we try something?”
Chris surveys the area around them, something
mischievous lurking in his eyes. “Okay, Alex. Don’t
make it obvious, but you see that young woman over
there? Your three o’clock?”
Alex moves the minuscule few centimetres to look
at the target. “The one with dark hair?”
“Yeah, her. She’s gorgeous.”
Alex can see her black silky hair, neat fringe and
bright eyes because she happens to be standing
under a light, leaning against a small ledge and
watching people. “Okay. What about her?”
Chris smirks. “Her mates have left her behind to
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go dancing. Let’s go over and talk to her. See which
of us she fancies. Alexander, I’ve got a good feeling
about this. It may be your lucky day, my friend.”
Chris’s use of his full name amuses Alex, but he’s
not comfortable with the suggestion.
“She’s barely legal.”
“Nah, old man. She’s definitely legal. Early
twenties, I’d say.” Pinpointing an age must come
naturally to Chris since he’s such a champ of
hooking up. “And she’s unlikely to know who you
are. Bonus.”
“I warn you. I’ve never done this before.” Alex
puts his glass down, succumbing to Chris’s
persuasion again.
“What? You’re asexual or something? Do you
mean you’ve never fucked around? Was there a Mrs.
Whale? Someone special?” Chris’s eyes twinkle with
amusement.
Alex rubs his nose bridge, avoiding talking about
his past and about Sam.
“Yeah, there was a Mrs. Whale, but it didn’t stop
me fucking around. I never had to chat women up.
They used to throw themselves at me after the
fights.” Realising how misogynistic it sounds, Alex
swallows. “I’m sorry.”
“Hmm. I hope you’ve learned a lesson now that
Mrs. Whale has left you,” Chris says.
You have no fucking idea.
“Anyhoo, the next stage of your love life starts
right now. Here’s what we do. We’ll saunter over
there, buy her a drink and have a chat. It’ll be fun to
see who she goes for. Next round of drinks on the
loser.” Chris grins.
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Alex shakes his head. “Come on. A washed-up
boxer and a young sex god. What do you expect?”
Chris stares at Alex, his eyelashes flickering. “You
think of me…as a sex god?”
Alex coughs. “I mean…for a young lass like her.
She must think you’re sexy.” Alex stops before he
digs himself a bigger hole.
Chris swallows. He shifts his feet and downs his
whiskey. “Well, if you say so. There’s only one way
to find out what she thinks. Come on, let’s go, sexy.”
The young woman is Lily, twenty-three, and she
is gorgeous. Smooth, porcelain skin, big doll eyes;
she’s taken in straight away by Chris’s charm. Her
eyes haven’t left Chris’s face, mesmerised by every
word he utters.
Amused, Alex knows when he’s not wanted. Sure,
there’s a little sourness in him, though not from the
fact that Chris is going to get laid with a beautiful
woman. He wishes he was the one Chris was talking
to and trying to woo. He makes the excuse of
needing the bathroom, and after he has used the
facilities, he buys a Coke and sits on the stool he
vacated earlier. Across the throng of dancing bodies,
the two younger people are deep in conversation.
He’ll leave Chris to his conquest and go back to the
flat alone. He’ll be fine with that since being alone is
his new normal now.
Alex takes a sip of his Diet Coke and watches the
dance floor while continuing his observation of
Chris—his pretty, sinewy neck and body, how his
face radiates from a distance amidst the dusk of the
club.
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~~~
An attractive woman with smoky eyes and
golden-blonde hair approaches Alex. She’s more
mature than Lily, who is currently conversing with
Chris across the room. This one, though, is
definitely more the type Alex would’ve taken to bed
five years ago. He doesn’t feel threatened despite his
wariness of the public these days.
Still. After the earlier encounters with the people
who wanted photographs, Alex has little enthusiasm
for chatting to another stranger. He’s not looking
for a casual hookup either. His recent sexual
fantasies mostly consist of a naked Chris in bed. He
was only humouring Chris when he agreed to come
out.
The woman sits on the stool next to Alex and lifts
her face to smile at him. “Is it okay if I sit here and
we have a little chat?”
Alex nods and smiles back. “Sure. Let me get you
a drink.”
“I’m good.” She raises her full glass of white wine,
her slender fingers wrapped around the stem. “My
name’s Susan.”
“Hi, I’m Alex,” he replies. “But I think you know
that.”
Susan smiles. The woman has flawless skin and
brilliant white teeth. She reminds Alex of the
models and minor celebrities who used to chat him
up all the time.
“So, are you taken?” she teases.
Alex glances over to Chris, who happens to look
his way and winks at him. The cheeky bastard.
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Susan follows Alex’s gaze.
“Taken? No.”
Susan focuses on Alex’s face once more.
“Really? I saw wh
at happened earlier with the
snap-happy people. Who’s your companion?” She
inclines her head ever so slightly in Chris’s
direction.
“My…he’s my bodyguard.” Alex winks.
“You’re lying to me!” She grins. “He seems a bit
too delicate and handsome for the task.”
A perfect paradox.
Alex cannot tear his eyes away from Chris. He
and Lily are talking, their heads close together, their
faces animated.
“Appearance is deceptive. Chris is, eh, ex-
military. He’s the best I’ve had. You wouldn’t know
to look at him, would you?”
Wait till I tell Chris about this.
Chris may not have been a real guard, but he’s
been good for Alex. For keeping him in check,
grounding him, rendering him safe. For the first
time in a long while, the weight on Alex’s shoulders
lightens.
Susan laughs. “If you say so.” She takes a large
gulp of her white wine. “They say you’re a nasty
piece of work, but I’ve enjoyed your company very
much.”
“Likewise.”
“I’d embarrass myself by asking to go home with
you, right?” She scans in the direction of Chris and
his latest conquest.
Alex turns his attention back to the woman sitting
next to him. He does need to get laid and he should
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accept her interest, but he’s rusty and less than
horny while on medications. Casual sex is unlikely
to help him get his groove back. Chris may only
think of him as a friend and he likes to take the piss,
but Alex would much rather be in Chris’s company
than have sex with a stranger.
“You’re absolutely gorgeous. But I’m not the same
Alex Whale that everyone used to know.” The new
Alex suits him fine, too.
She smiles, her pretty eyes shimmering in the
dark club. “I’d say you’ve become a better person.
It’s my luck to get to speak to you, if only for a few
minutes.”
He pecks her cheek. “It’s nice that someone
speaks to me like a regular man.”
She giggles. “My pleasure. Have a lovely evening
with that ‘bodyguard’ of yours!” She draws the
quotation marks with her fingers in the air and
stands to leave.
Alex smiles and watches her back as she walks
away, and he wonders for the thousandth time
recently what the fuck is wrong with him for not
taking the woman home, having sex with her and
living up to the expectation of an alpha-male.
~~~
Chris converses with Lily but his attention
remains on Alex. The lovely young woman is
touching his arm and talking, her mouth opening
and shutting. Her longing eyes gleam brightly under
the spotlights emanating from the bar.
“Sorry?” Chris realises he’s missed what she’s
been saying for the past five minutes.
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“Where do you live? Do you want to take a walk?
It’s a bit too loud for conversation here.”
Chris is quite well aware what the euphemism
means. She’ll make a good distraction, even if she
seems inexperienced and innocent. There were
times when he wanted to leave someone like that
heartbroken, but not tonight. He’s getting too soft
and caring for sure.
Chris was probably six when he found out he
could either hurt others’ feelings or risk getting hurt
himself.
Chris’s dick has been twitching, but it’s for the
unmissable Alex across the room. A little spark of
envy settles in Chris’s chest when a very elegant
lady sits on the stool he vacated, and she proceeds
to chat Alex up. Chris thought Alex might be too
tense to talk with yet another stranger but he seems
to get on with her. With the noise and music, she’s
been leaning close to speak to him, and he pays
attention, nodding and smiling. When Alex smiles,
his face lights up for a second, and he’s stunning in
Chris’s eyes. But Alex shuts himself down after the
briefest showing of happiness, as though the boxer
has been trained to reveal no emotions. Different
coping mechanisms to Chris’s, but Chris recognises
the result.
The woman is beautiful, but Chris is not going to
be jealous of a couple of straight people chatting
each other up.
I have only myself to blame. Duh. Will you want
me if I tell you how I feel sometimes? Oh, I’ve
forgotten Lily again.
“Ah, I’ll stay and have another drink. I’m not sure
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what we’re doing later. You see, I’ve come out with
my mate.” Chris points to Alex.
“Yeah, he’s pretty impressive.” She eyes Chris,
then smiles. “Not my type, though.”
When the blonde has left Alex alone, Chris’s heart
does a happy dance. He makes his excuses and
beelines back to his flatmate.
“Hey, handsome. Do you come here often?”
Alex grins and shakes his head. “I’ve never been
called that before.”
“In the eye of the beholder and all that.” Chris
lifts her head and beams at him. “Come on. What’s
wrong with the woman?”
“Ah, she’s just a fan.”
Chris arches an eyebrow. “So? Does your dick feel
different when you’re inside a fan?”
Alex frowns. “Your face may be pretty but you’ve
got a crude mouth.”
“I was raised by my mother, not polite society.”
Alex repeats the question back at Chris: “What’s
Chris grimaces. “I felt like the wolf enticing Red
Riding Hood.”
That makes Alex laugh.
Chris’s clever comeback hangs in the air as
‘Girls/Girls/Boys’ blasts out of the monitors. “Oh,
my gosh. I love this song!” Chris screams. “We’ve
got to dance.”
Alex glares at her. “You’re fucking kidding me.”
“No, I’m not. Come on!” Chris pulls Alex’s arm.
“I don’t dance.”
“Yeah? You do now.” Chris tugs the big man
along. “You performed in front of millions, Alex. Are
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you scared of these people? In the dark?”
Alex slips down from his stool. “One fucking
song,” he says.
They dance along to the tune. The singer is
pleading to another to change their mind and find
him. Surprising himself, the boy abandons the girl
for another boy.
Lost in the heady scent of body heat and sweat,
they move with the rhythm. Being so close to Alex
makes Chris all tingly and hot. Alex’s body under
the tight dress shirt does wonderful things—
unfamiliar and tender things—to Chris’s insides.
Chris dances like a pro, gyrating to the song, lost
in the intoxicating scent of Alex. The other revellers
ogle her and by default they take in Alex. Chris
closes her eyes and grins. When she opens her eyes
again, she is gazing at something close to magic. She
throws her arms around Alex’s neck and makes him
swing along with her.
Alex is not a practised dancer, but heat radiates
from his body as they rub against each other on the
dance floor.
Chris closes in and puts her warm cheek against
Alex’s. Inches apart, Alex’s hot breath tingles Chris.
“You’re doing great.”
“One song,” Alex insists.
~~~
Chris stumbles out of the taxi and stands next to
Alex outside their front door.
Alex wants to laugh, watching his flatmate
struggle with his key. Chris has been drinking
whiskey all night and at one point went to the toilet
86
to smoke dope. His hand trembles slightly as he
tries to aim at the keyhole but fails, and he looks up
and giggles, his aquamarine eyes sparkling under
the streetlamp. Cute.
Alex senses Chris’s flirtation and the arousal. His
cheeks are flushed and pupils dilated. Alex sniffs
and indulges in that faint floral scent from Chris’s
shampoo, closing his eyes fleetingly.
“Oh, holy hole,” Chris whispers, high and giddy.
“Give me it,” Alex demands. “You’re drunk,
Christoph.”
“I’m not, and my name’s Chris. I don’t use…that
other name.” He pouts. Surprising Alex, he reaches
up the couple of inches and kisses him on the neck,
his lips soft and wet.
Alex loves the impetuous gesture, but he’s
intrigued by the meaning of Chris’s name. “It’s on
your letters.”
“Well, I’m not my official self.”
Alex is confused, but he puts it down to Chris
being rather intoxicated.
Since Chris refuses to hand over the key, Alex
takes his out instead and opens the door in one
smooth movement. Alex helps Chris in, and for
once, he doesn’t protest. He sways, leaning close as
they climb the three flights of stairs and negotiate
the temperamental lighting arrangement like a
pirouette, but the heat that passed between them in
the club and outside the door cools, to Alex’s
dismay.
Once in the flat, Alex wrings his hands. “Thanks
for the evening. I had a good time.”
Lame, lame, lame. He kicks himself for not
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knowing what else he could have said to Chris, to
tell him he’s special.
“You’re welcome.” Chris stretches again and gives
him another peck. Alex inhales the floral perfume