[Improvise Magical Device check: Partial success]
—too quickly, as it hit the ninety degree limit on its hinges and the vertebrae jerked loose, dropping the cage door closed again on the almost-free Pequod. It slammed shut on his outraged nose, causing him to hiss promises of violent death at goblins, sewers, stinky cages, and possibly the rest of the universe too, just for good measure.
“...has lotsa bones, don’t see what Shaman needs MORE for, anyway, greedy goblin...”
“Quiet! You hear something?”
“Yeah, probably something mad about waiting to turn into bones.”
“Maybe we should go eat—err, I mean ‘look’.”
“What if it’s that hell-cat again?”
“Oh, yeah... maybe we should wait some more.”
The spring-loaded latches that had once prevented it from opening now prevented it from properly closing. I darted forward and lifted the heavy door (properly, with my real hands and not the glove projections), and this time Pequod didn’t wait to be shut in a final time. As soon as the door was up, he launched himself forward onto the soft, elevated pedestal conveniently placed at the opening to his cage—which happened to be my face.
Pequod’s momentum shoved us both back, and my heels stumbled in the gutter as I tried to wrestle a face-full of cat into some more manageable position, such as the floor, but he wasn’t having any of it. He sunk his claws into my shoulders and head and yowled like a demon while I overbalanced and did a much abbreviated Backwards Waterfall into the row of cages behind me, which shuddered, slipped, and came down with a clatter of bones and bars.
“THAT not a cat!”
“Uh oh, if we lose any pieces, we’re dead!”
“Maybe it’s a—look! Squishy skin!”
Half a dozen unfamiliar goblins came hopping down the corridor parallel to Pequod’s cage. They were larger than the little grey goblins I had seen in the upper sewers and their pebbled skin had the beginnings of green tabby-like markings in it.
I stood to face them. Or tried to, anyway, my intimidation factor somewhat hampered by a huge, once-white cat who weighed half as much as I did and had attached himself to my shoulders and upper back with the determination of a gila monster.
<Uh oh, Pequod pushes you up into a heavy load, which means you are now Encumbered. This is not going to go well.>
The goblins and I stared at each other for a moment, sizing up the situation, and came to the conclusion at about the same moment that I was outnumbered, outmassed, and none of the katas I knew included a headful of cat, except of course for Backwards Waterfall. Uh oh indeed.
The lead goblin opened its mouth and snapped out its long, prehensile tongue. The sticky mass flashed forward at us, and, unable to dodge, I threw my hand in front of my face and caught the tongue by reflex. I then instantly let go, or tried to, but my fingers were encased in the gluey saliva... I braced my feet against the recoil, but when the goblin’s elastic tongue snapped back, it took with it only my glove, leaving my bare hand poised as if I were casting a spell. The goblin had also braced for a much heavier tug-of-war, and, overcompensating, fell back into the rest of the crew behind it and swallowed the glove with a surprised “ulp!”.
I took the opening, turned on one sandaled heel, and ran, bent over at the waist to accommodate the heavy weight of Pequod, who pivoted on my back to face the pursuing goblins, hissing and spitting his displeasure while he kneaded me with his claws and wrapped a fox-like tail around my face for added leverage. I pulled the strands of hair clear of my goggles and did my best to keep upright. The Talarian Sandals added spring to my step as I jumped broken cages and dodged amongst ankle-breaking bones, trying to keep a wall of cages or anything else between me and the tongue-lassos behind me. Jump, land (don’t slip on a femur), dodge for cover. Jump, land, don’t-slip, cover. Jump, land, don’t-slip, cover! Must go faster!
I made it to the cylindrical door, dodged through and behind it, and gave it a mighty heave to swing it shut, but it didn’t budge.
[Strength check: Failed (-4 penalty due to Encumbrance)]
There wasn’t time to try again. I’d gained a small lead on the goblins, but they were closing fast. Must go faster!
I bolted downstream, pulling out my lit dagger to see by, hoping the goblins would be too afraid to abandon their bone-farming task, but no such luck. I fled, they chased. Downstream, through the rocky tunnel, past the mushrooms, until the waterfall poured away beneath me into the sparkling grotto. I slid to a stop at the very edge of the tunnel.
There was nowhere else to run.
<And you’re at half health, and these goblins look tougher than the last ones. I don’t fancy our chances here.>
I looked down the sparking shaft beneath me, as the dark and distant water, and then back at the goblins just coming into the glow of my dagger. One of them launched a tongue at me, which I deflected again at the cost of the other glove. Pequod yowled like a mad thing.
<Time for Plan B.>
I transferred my dagger to my teeth to free up my hands, then reached up and grabbed Pequod’s tail, onto which I shoved my waterbreathing ring, then, holding an armful of infuriated cat, did my best ever rendition of Backwards Waterfall.
For a moment we were weightless, and the waterfall was still; glassy, amorphous drops hung suspended in the air while the grotto walls rushed upwards in a blur of twinkles. I took as deep a breath as I could hold, remembered at the last second to remove the dagger from between my teeth...
<...told you Wisdom wasn’t a dump stat... >
[-2 Hit Points, Slashing damage15]
[Hit points: 10/25]
I didn’t dare use up my one lungful of air to cry out. I made it to the sea cave, then through it, and whisked my way along the walls in record time.
<Wow, it makes a world of difference swimming with the current. Maybe we really can get out of here in 2 minutes.>
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 1:45]
I knew the moment Pequod figured out the waterbreathing ring when the burbled “Mrowr!”s started bubbling past my ear. He had finally stopped fighting me, possibly because he could no longer see the surface, and had instead gone back to fastening himself to my skin. It wasn’t nearly as big of a deal underwater, where his buoyancy offset his weight. I stuck my hands and feet as far out as they would go, and swam as fast as I could.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 1:20]
The fluorescent lights of the giant anemone warned me in advance of its location. On Voice’s advice, I flattened myself to the ceiling of the cave, just out of reach of the tentacles, and began crawling past, trying to keep up with the current and leave no eddy or ripple to alert it to my presence.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 1:15]
[Stealth16 check 1/3: Success]
<Yeah! Another win for the Dex build. I told you we could do it all, Sam! Versatility is the name of the game!>
I just figured it was a good thing the anemone couldn’t hear us. I concentrated on keeping my breath inside, and becoming one with the current.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 1:10]
I moved my arms like the drifting tentacles below me, letting my fingers cling to the rocks like limpets when they alighted, and then pulled myself forward with the easy grace of the barracudas.
[Stealth check 2/3: Success]
In my mind’s eye I saw Adalaide performing Sea Kata, her arms the very embodiment of the tide. Move slowly, and push the energy before you, wrap yourself in it, and then pull it from behind you as well, and it will carry you with great power...
[Stealth check 3/3: Success]
<Yeah!>
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 1:00]
<Ok, Sam
, no holds barred anymore, we have 1 minute to get to the surface again. Now I kinda wish we put more than 1 point in Swim...>
And so I swam. When possible, I pushed off of rocks with my Talarian Sandals, making an arrow of myself as I shot through the water, like the sardines.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:50]
The sardines themselves did not show back up to guide my way, and I navigated by memory, though the cave looked different from this direction and speed.
[Intelligence17 check: Success]
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:44]
Perhaps tired of having his fur ruffled, Pequod had gotten with the streamlining program and at least managed to keep a low profile, though he did not let up his bubbled complaining.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:36]
I didn’t even see the glow of the entrance yet.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:30]
Must go faster.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:23]
Must go faster!
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:17]
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:16]
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:15]
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:14]
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:13]
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:12]
There! A crescent shaped cerulean glow, and the bay beyond. I bit back the burning in my lungs and shoved the water behind me as fast as I could move my limbs.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:06]
And then I was through, into the open sea, amongst the creeping crayfish and striped clownfish and flocks of sardines.
<Schools. Fish have schools.>
Whatever!
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:03]
My lungs felt like they were on fire, and the surface was too far away. My blood demanded oxygen and my limbs demanded blood, and I could feel the sluggish weakness creeping outwards.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:02]
There was no way I could swim to the surface fast enough, so I didn’t. Instead, I let out my depleted breath, sank down, and set my feet down on a solid, well-grounded rock.
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:01]
I jumped, with everything I had, putting as much force into the Talarian Sandals as I ever dared, and rocketed upwards, outracing my bubbles, my long exhale streaming behind me as I aimed for the silhouette of the fishing boats above me...
<Boats? Plural?>
[Breath timer: (2:00) T minus 0:00]
...and erupted from the sea surface next to our boat like some deranged Waterfall Kata in reverse, salt spray flying, lungs burning, and announced by the loudest, angriest yowl to ever split Cerulean air since they invented tomcats. I somersaulted once and landed in the bottom of the dinghy with a soggy thump, interrupting Ramsey’s protest of “...don’t need a permit because we aren’t fishing!”
The other occupant of the boat was a stodgy looking elf with a clipboard and a frown, who, unfortunately for Pequod’s maddened quest to put as much distance as possible between himself and the cursed sea, was now officially the tallest thing in the area.
“What the...?” was as much as he managed to say before he got a face full of salt-matted fur and grappling hook claws. The elf reached up to swat at the cat with his clipboard, stumbling around the tiny dinghy and causing it to rock precariously. Pequod didn’t approve of the clipboard, which he batted angrily out of the air, and then gained altitude by dislodging the Assistant Harbormaster hat adorning the elf’s head and clawing his way into its place. The elf swung again, stepped back, the boat dipped, and elf, clipboard, and cat went over the side and back into the bay.
I sat up. The two occupants of the second boat, a fancy red dinghy with carved scrollwork, immediately reached over to try and help up their boss, impeded by thrashing cat. Ramsey took the distraction and flipped off the rope tying the two boats together, Minnow fished out Pequod with her rudder, and Ramsey and I set to work with the other oars, hauling us away.
“Sam!” he sounded thrilled. “We were getting worried! And you found a cat? Three gods... that’s Pequod! Cor, Isha’s going to be over the moon!”
“He was in a cage in a bone farm, part of an old gnomish room under the city. Where they stashed my body.”
“Wait, what?”
“I’ll tell you all about it. When we’re not about to be caught by the Bay Guard, for... what are they mad at you for?”
“Oh, something about some stupid license. Really I think they recognized me for this totally-not-a-smuggling operation I pulled a few weeks ago. They just wanted an excuse to take me in.”
“We’d better row faster, then!”
Ramsey shrugged. “Sure, if you need the exercise. But they won’t be paddling after us too quickly.” He grinned, and nodded at the floor of the boat, where sat two pilfered red oars, the handles covered in fancy scrollwork.
Pequod perched on my head the entire way home.
[Lost and Found: Quest – COMPLETED]
Chapter Ten
Ramsey traded the stolen oars to the first dock rat we came across in exchange for a hooded poncho for me, ostensibly to keep off the rain starting to sweep in off the bay. It was a really good disguise; Pequod and I looked like some strange dripping, whiskered creature with sandaled halfling feet and a tendency to hiss at passing strangers. I got some odd looks, but nothing that would connect me to my wanted poster.
Minnow had evaporated from any possible pursuit as soon as we touched shore, leaving Ramsey to lead me through the rain back to La Baleine. I couldn’t see anything with Pequod at the hood, but I knew when we made it back to the restaurant by the sizzling smell of bacon, Pequod’s sudden, excited launch from my head, Sarah’s surprised cry of “Not the boxes!” and Marissa’s wordless shout of delight.
[Lost and Found: Quest update!]
[Nine lives, save the cat: Quest – COMPLETED]
Ishàmae didn’t say anything at all. When I finally shrugged my way out of my oversized poncho, he was merely holding his cat (who was, for a change, actually purring) with a stunned look on his face like he was trying not to cry. The guardian angel was hovering a couple of feet behind him, chattering angrily but not daring to challenge the blue-eyed feline glare.
“Sam?” said Sarah, putting down a small sheaf of papers. “Ramsey? Pequod? How did you...?”
Ramsey waved his arm at me with a proud flourish, and under the weight of everyone’s attention, I didn’t know where to run. I picked up the poncho from the tiled kitchen floor, instead, and tried to fold it into some kind of shape.
“I didn’t...” I began. “I, err, it was nothing...” but I was interrupted by Isha, who dropped off Pequod, covered the distance between us in two of his huge strides, swept down, and picked me up in a long-armed hug. I decided that from Isha, it was fine, and did not necessitate a stabbing.
“Benedicat tibi Dominus dea!” he whispered fiercely in my confused ear, but before I was forced to the awkward point of asking for an explanation or thinking of anything to say, he let me go again. “Samiel, you are misnamed! You are the angel of miracles!” he boomed. “Come now, we will have a feast, yes, in your honor, and you must tell me how you came to reunite me with my beloved Pequod, whom I believed lost forever!”
This pronouncement produced a flurry of activity in the kitchen. Isha grabbed a mixing bowl and furtively added ingredients by feel, trying to keep his back between the mixture and the relentlessly inquisitive angel. I went outside to rinse the salt out of my clothes while Ramsey held forth an account of his end of the adventure, Marissa fetched me my one spare blue dress, and Sarah finished loading boxes of savory smelling packages wrapped in butcher paper onto a small float pallet.
“What’s all that?” I asked, trying unsuccessfully to pull a comb through my hair.
“This,” Sarah answered proudly, “is how I’m going to pay for school.” She made a final note on her papers before neatly folding them into one of her po
ckets. “It turns out college students are, collectively, the hungriest bunch of people you’ll find this side of an orkish army. And none of them can cook. Hey!” This last bit was at Ramsey, who was surreptitiously unfolding one of the packages to reveal a steaming waft of eggs and bacon and fried potatoes. “That breakfast burrito isn’t for you!”
“But it’s not breakfast time!”
“I doubt any of them will care. Between the parties and the late night study sessions and the astronomy classes, half of them are nocturnal anyway. I figure if I play this right, I can do two deliveries a day and sell to both the day shift and the night shift, and so long as I can sell out at least six days a week, I should have just enough to pay for tuition.”
“That’s brilliant!” agreed Ramsey, who passed a few coins to Marissa in lieu of relinquishing the burrito. Sarah sighed.
“But...” I thought of something. “Isn’t La Baleine closed? Will you get in trouble?”
“On a technicality,” she replied smugly, “the restaurant is closed, not the kitchen. I checked, of course, what with our new guest—” the angel smiled at us, sweet and innocent “—but all of Triport’s laws are available in the public section of the University’s library, and I’m confident we aren’t breaking any of them.”
Ramsey looked thoughtful, as if bothering to find out what the laws he regularly disregarded actually were was a new idea, and I grabbed a slice of bacon as a snack.
[Food bestowed: 3 hit points]
[Hit Points: 13/25]
Sarah soon left with her boxes of burritos on a rickety old float-dolly, and Ramsey and I took over the unused and still slightly scorched dining room to lay our maps to Keen’s lair. Marissa set aside some food for us while she cleaned up, and Isha was still in the kitchen, trying to distract Pequod with tidbits of bacon while he attempted to work out the muck and knots from his fur, a task which I figured would take at least until tomorrow, if not next year. “Good kitty!” he crooned. “Good kitty, no do not growl, the bothersome angel is not trying to steal your treats.” He sniffed. “Only my recipes...”