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    The Helmet of Horror

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    Chapter Eighteen

     

      Nutscracker

      I mean, who are we going to be?

      Ariadne

      Papa will tell us that now.

      Nutscracker

      How . . .

      Monstradamus: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR

      IsoldA: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR

      Nutscracker: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR

      Organizm(-: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR

      Sartrik: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR

      Monstradamus

      No, anything but that! No!

      Nutscracker

      What? What? No I don't want that either. Nobody does. But why? Why?

      UGLI 666

      Stay calm.

      Romeo-y-Cohiba

      Don't panic.

      Organizm(-:

      Stay calm . . .

      Monstradamus

      Please, no!

      UGLI 666

      Just relax. You're our head, and that goes through first.

      Monstradamus: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!

      IsoldA: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!

      Nutscracker: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!

      Organizm(-: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!

      Sartrik: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!

      Ariadne: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!

      UGLI 666: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!

      Romeo-y-Cohiba: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!

      Ariadne

      Hi, little brother. My, but you're ugly.

      Organizm(-:

      So what, now we'll be the Minosaur. The ancient serpent.

      UGLI 666

      We always were, heh-heh. That human stuff was nothing but a nuisance. And all that bovine stuff too.

      Organizm(-:

      We'll be a dragon. We'll fly up to the clouds and dive down to the bottom of the sea. Maybe now things really will be easier.

      Monstradamus

      Easier? But we've got Sartrik stuck right in the middle of us. Now we'll feel like puking all the time. Constantly. No matter how deep we dive, no matter who we pretend to be. Even Lolita, even a Rolls-Royce.

      Romeo-y-Cohiba

      But what if Sartrik hits the drink so hard that he slips the hook too?

      Nutscracker

      Let's not have any gloom and doom. The helmet isn't coming off.

      Organizm(-:

      But Theseus took it off.

      Nutscracker

      Maybe he never even put it on. Otherwise where could he have got to? There's no way out of there. There's nothing but jeeps, surf and sunshine. And horror, of course. And I'm not just guessing, I'm speaking as a professional.

      IsoldA

      But where is he now?

      Nutscracker

      What does it matter to us? There's no stopping him now.

      Monstradamus: I feel sick, xxx.

      IsoldA: I feel sick, xxx.

      Nutscracker: I feel sick, xxx.

      Organizm(-: I feel sick, xxx.

      Sartrik: I feel sick, xxx.

      Ariadne: I feel sick, xxx. It's time to get out of here . . .

      UGLI 666: I feel sick, xxx.

      Romeo-y-Cohiba: I feel sick, xxx.

      Sartrik

      And my stomach's rumbling, xxx. Listen, Monstradamus. There's one thing I still don't get. Where did all this happen?

      Monstradamus

      Are you really that stupid or can you just not sober up? In the helmet of horror.

      Sartriks

      Oh. And who to?

      Monstradamus

      You.

      *

      Disclaimer: Not a single fictitious Ancient Greek youth or maiden was killed during the creation of this text.




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