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    Seeds of Yesterday

    Page 26
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    himself. "Hey--look, here they come!"

      I watched the string of headlights in the

      distance, heading up the hill. "Get ready, everybody,"

      called Bart, giving Trevor an excited gesture to be

      ready to swing wide the doors.

      Chris strolled beside Jory's chair, which he

      guided expertly, as I caught hold of Bart's arm and

      went to form a receiving line. Trevor hurried up to

      give us all a bright smile.

      "I just love parties, I always have, I always will.

      Makes the heart beat faster. Makes old bones feel

      young again. I can tell it's going to be a jolly smashing

      one tonight."

      Two or three times Trevor said that--with less

      conviction each time, as still not one pair of those

      headlights climbed high enough to reach our drive. No

      one rang our bell, banged our door knocker.

      The musicians were in position under the

      rotunda, on a dais that had been constructed especially

      for them, centered directly between the curving dual

      stairways. They tuned their instruments over and over

      again as my feet in their high-heeled fancy slippers

      began to ache. I sat again on an elegant chair and

      wiggled my shoes off under the folds of my gown,

      which was growing heavier and more uncomfortable

      by the minute. Eventually Chris sat beside me, and

      Bart took the righthand chair, all of us very silent,

      almost holding our breaths. Jory had his own special

      chair that could buzz him around tirelessly. From

      window to window he drove, looking out and

      reporting.

      I knew that Cindy was upstairs, all dressed and

      ready, waiting to be "fashionably" late and impress

      everyone when finally she drifted down the stairs. She

      had to be growing very impatient.

      "They must be coming soon--" Jory said when

      the hour reached ten-thirty. "There's lots of banked

      snow on the side roads to confuse them . . ." Bart's lips were tight and grim, his eyes stony

      cold.

      No one said anything. I was afraid to even

      speculate on why no one had arrived. Trevor looked

      very anxious when he thought we weren't noticing. To give myself something pleasant to think

      about, I fixed my eyes on the buffet tables, which

      reminded me so much of that first ball I'd seen in the

      original Foxworth Hall

      Very much like what I was staring at. Red linen tablecloths, silver dishes and bowls.

      A fountain spraying champagne. Huge, gleaming,

      chafing dishes emitting delicious odors. Heaps and

      heaps of food on fancy tiered plates of crystal,

      porcelain, gold and silver. At last I could resist no

      longer and got up to taste of this and that while Bart

      frowned and complained I was ruining the beautiful

      designs. I wrinkled my nose his way and handed Chris

      a plate full of everything I knew he'd like best. Soon

      Jory was helping himself.

      Red beeswax bayberry candles burned lower

      and lower. Towering gelatin masterpieces began to

      sag. Melted cheeses began to toughen, and the heating

      sauces thickened. Crepe batter waited to be poured on

      turned over thin pans, while chefs eyed each other curiously. I had to look away from all that was going

      bad.

      Fires cheered all our main rooms, making them

      cozy, exceptionally lovely. Extra servants grew

      restless and anxious-looking as they fidgeted and

      began to mill about, whispering amongst themselves,

      not knowing what to do.

      Down the stairs drifted Cindy in a crimson

      hooped- skirted gown, so elaborate it put my

      delicately beaded gown to shame. Hers had a tight

      bodice, with a flounce of fluted ruffles to cover a little

      of her upper arms, displaying her shoulders to

      advantage and creating a magnificent frame for her

      creamy, swelling breasts. The red gown was cut very

      low. The skirt was a masterpiece of ruffles, caught

      with white silk flowers rain-dropped with iridescent

      crystals. A few of these white silk blossoms were

      tucked in her upswept hair, duplicating something

      Scarlett O'Hara might have liked.

      "Where's everybody?" she asked, looking

      around, her radiant expression fading. "I waited and

      waited to hear the music playing, then sort of dozed

      off, thinking when I woke that I was missing out on

      all the fun."

      She paused and glanced around before a look of dismay flooded her expression. "Don't tell me nobody's going to come! I just can't stand another disappointment!" Dramatically she threw her hands

      about.

      "No one has as yet arrived, Miss," said Trevor

      tactfully. "They must have lost their way, and I must

      say you look a dream of loveliness, as does your

      mother . "

      "Thank you," she said, floating his way and

      brushing his cheek with a daughterly kiss. "You look

      very distinguished yourself." She dashed past Bart's

      look of astonishment and ran to the piano. "Please,

      may I?" she asked a young, good-looking musician

      who seemed delighted to have something happening,

      at last.

      Cindy sat down beside him, put her hands on

      the keys, threw back her head and began to sing: "Oh,

      holy night, Oh, night when stars are shining." I stared, as did all of us, at the girl we thought

      we knew so well. It wasn't an easy song to sing, but

      she did it so well, with so much emotion even Bart

      stopped pacing the floor to turn and stare at her in

      amazement.

      Tears were in my eyes. Oh, Cindy, how could

      you keep that voice a secret for so long? Her piano playing was only adequate, but that voice, the feeling she put into her phrasing. All the musicians then joined in to drown out her piano playing, if not her

      voice.

      I sat, stunned, hardly believing that my Cindy

      could sing so beautifully. When she'd finished, we all

      applauded enthusiastically. As Jory called out,

      "Sensational! Fantastic! Absolutely wonderful, Cindy!

      You sneak--you never told us you continued with

      your voice lessons."

      "I haven't. It's just me expressing the way I

      feel." She cast her eyes down, then took a sly, hooded

      look at Bart's astonished expression, which showed

      not only his surprise but some pleasure as well. For

      the first time he had found something to admire about

      Cindy. Her small smile of satisfaction fleeted quickly

      by, kind of a sad smile, as if she wished Bart could

      like her for other reasons as well.

      "I love Christmas carols and religious songs,

      they do something for me. Once in school I sang

      'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot,' and the teacher said I

      had the kind of emotional feeling to make a great

      singer. But I still want most to be an actress." Laughing and happy again, she asked us to join

      in and we'd make this a real party, even if no one showed up. She began to bang out a tune resembling

      "Joy to the World." Then "Jingle Bells."

      This time Bart was not moved.

      He strode again to the windows to stare out, his

      back straight. "They can't ignore my invitations, not

     
    ; when they responded," he mumbled to himself. I couldn't understand how his business friends

      could dare to offend him when he had to be their most

      important client, and everyone loved a party, especially the kind of party they had to know would be

      sensational.

      Somehow or other, Bart was accomplishing

      miracles with that five hundred thousand a year,

      making it grow in ways that Chris would have found

      too risky. Bart risked everything . . . calculated

      gambles that paid off handsomely. Only then did I

      realize that perhaps my mother had meant it to be this

      way. If she had given Bart all the fortune in one grand

      huge sum, he wouldn't have worked as hard to build

      his own fortune, which would, if he kept it up, far

      exceed what Malcolm had left him And in this way

      Bart would find his own worth.

      Yet what did money matter when he was so

      disappointed he couldn't eat a thing that was lavishly

      displayed? However, disillusionment drove him to the liquor, and in a short while he'd managed to swallow half a dozen strong drinks as he paced the floors,

      growing angrier by the second.

      I could hardly bear to watch his

      disappointment, and soon, despite myself, tears were

      silently wetting my face.

      Chris whispered, "We can't go to bed and leave

      him here alone. Cathy, he's suffering. Look at him

      pacing back and forth. With every step he takes his

      anger grows. Somebody is going to pay for this

      slight."

      Eleven-thirty came and went.

      By this time Cindy was the only one having a

      good time. The musicians and servants seemed to

      adore her. Eagerly they played and she sang. When

      she wasn't singing, she was dancing with every man

      there, even Trevor and other male servants. She

      gestured to the maids, inviting them to dance, and

      happily they joined in the festivity she created around

      her as they took turns to see that she, at least, was

      entertained.

      "Let's all eat, drink and be merry!" Cindy cried,

      smiling at Bart. "It's not the end of the world, brother

      Bart. What do you care? We're too rich to be well

      liked. We're also too rich to feel sorry for ourselves. And look, we have at least twenty guests . . . let's

      dance, drink, eat, have a ball!"

      Bart stopped pacing to stare at her. Cindy held

      high her glass of champagne. "My toast to you,

      brother Bart. For every ugly thing you've said to me, I

      give you back blessings of good will, good health,

      long life and much love." She touched his highball

      glass with her champagne glass and then sipped,

      smiling into his eyes charmingly before she offered

      another toast. "I think you look absolutely terrif, and

      the girls who don't show up tonight are missing the

      chance of their lifetimes. So here it is, another toast to

      the most eligible bachelor in the world. I wish you

      joy, I wish you happiness, I wish you love. I would

      wish you success, but you don't need that." , He couldn't move his eyes away: "Why don't I

      need success?" he asked in a low tone.

      "Because what more could you want? You have

      success when you have millions, and soon enough

      you'll have more money than you know what to do

      with."

      Bart's dark head bowed. "I don't feel successful.

      Not when no one will even come to my party." His

      voice cracked as he turned his back.

      I got up to go to him. "Will you dance with me,

      Bart?" "No!" he snapped, hurrying to a distant window

      where he could stand and stare again.

      Cindy had a wonderful time with the musicians

      and the men and women who'd come to serve Bart's

      guests. However, I was deeply downcast, feeling sorry

      for Bart, who had counted so much on this. Out of

      sympathy for him, all of us but Cindy and the hired

      help moved into the front parlor, and there we sat in

      our fabulous expensive clothes and waited for guests

      who obviously had accepted, only to trick Bart later

      on--and in this way tell us what they thought of the

      Foxworths on the hill.

      The grandfather clock began to toll the hour of

      twelve. Bart left the windows and fell upon the sofa

      before the guttering log fire. "I should have known it

      would turn out this way." He glanced bitterly at Jory.

      "Perhaps they came to my birthday party only to see

      you dance, and now, when you can't--to hell with

      me! They've snubbed me--and they're going to pay

      for it," he said in a hard, cold voice, louder and

      stronger than Joel's but with the same kind of zealot's

      fury. "Before I'm through, there won't be a house in a

      twenty-mile radius that doesn't belong to me. I'll ruin

      them. All of them. With the power of the Foxworth trust behind me I can borrow millions, and then I'll buy out the banks and demand they pay off their mortgages. I'll buy out the village stores, close them down. I'll hire other attorneys, fire the ones I have now and see that they're disbarred. I'll find new stockbrokers, hire new real estate agents, see that real estate property values are undermined, and when they sell cheap, I'll buy. By the time I'm through, there won't be one old aristocratic Virginia family left this side of Charlottesville! And not one of my business colleagues will be left with anything but debts to pay

      off!"

      "Then will you be satisfied?" asked Chris. "NO!" flared Bart, his eyes hard, glaring. "I

      won't be satisfied until justice has ruled! I have done

      nothing to deserve this night! Nothing but try to give

      them what our ancestors did--and they have rejected

      me! They'll pay, and pay, and then pay some more." He sounded like me! To hear my very own

      words coming from the mouth of the child I'd carried

      when I'd said them made all my blood drain into my

      feet. Shivering, I tried to appear normal. "I'm sorry,

      Bart. But it wasn't a total loss, was it? We're all

      together under one roof, a united family for once. And

      Cindy's music and singing made this a festive

      occasion after all."

      He wasn't listening.

      He was staring at all the food that had yet to be

      eaten. All the champagne with the bubbles gone flat.

      All the wine and liquor that could have loosened

      many a tongue and given him information he wanted

      to use. He glared at the maids in their pretty black and

      white uniforms, drunken and staggering around, some

      still dancing as the music played on and on. He

      glowered at the few waiters who still held trays of

      drinks gone warm. Some stood and looked at him and

      waited for his signal to say the night was over. The

      impressive centerpiece of an ice crystal manger, with

      the three shepherds, the wise men and all the animals,

      had melted into a puddle and spilled over to darken

      the red cloth.

      "How lucky you were when you danced in The

      Nutcracker, Jory," said Bart as he headed fast for the

      stairs. "You were the ugly nutcracker that turned into

      the handsome prince. You dominated every male role

      --and won the prettiest ballerina every time. In

      Cinderella, in Romeo and Juliet
    . In The Sleeping

      Beauty, Giselle, Swan Lake--every time but the last

      time. And it's the last time that counts, isn't it?" How cruel! How very cruel! I watched Jory wince, and for once he allowed his pain to show,

      making my heart ache for him.

      "Merry Christmas," Bart called as he

      disappeared up the stairs. "We'll never again celebrate

      this holiday, or any other in this house as long as I run

      it. Joel was right. He warned me not to try and

      conform and be like others. He said I shouldn't try to

      make people like or respect me. From now on, I'll be

      like Malcolm. I'll gain respect by inflicting my will on

      others, with fists of iron, and with ruthless

      determination. All who have alienated me tonight will

      feel my might."

      I turned to Chris when he was out of sight. "He

      sounds crazy!"

      "No, darling, he's not crazy--he's just Bart,

      young and vulnerable again and very, very hurt. He

      used to break his bones when he was a child to punish

      himself because he failed socially and in school. Now

      he's going to break the lives of others. Isn't it a pity,

      Cathy, that nothing works out for him?"

      I stood at the newel post looking upward to

      where an old man hid in the shadows, seeming to

      shake from his silent laughter.

      "Chris, you go on up, and I'll follow in a few

      seconds." Chris wanted to know what I was planning, so I lied and said I was going to have a few words with our housekeeper about cleaning up the mess. But

      I had something far different in mind.

      As soon as everyone was out of sight, I ducked

      into Bart's huge office, closed the door and was soon

      rifling through his desk to find the R.S.V.P. cards that

      had dutifully arrived weeks ago.

      They must have been fingered many a time

      from the ink smudges on the envelopes. Two hundred

      and fifty cards had accepted. My teeth bit down on my

      lower lip.

      Not one rejection, not even one. People didn't

      do things like this, even to someone they disliked. If

      they hadn't wanted to come, they would have tossed

      the invitations into the trash along with the return

      card, or sent back the card declining.

      Carefully I replaced the cards and then headed

      up the back stairs to Joel's room.

      Without even a preliminary knock I opened his

      door to find him sitting on the edge of his narrow bed,

      doubled over in what appeared to be a terrible

      stomach cramp, or that hateful silent laughter. He was

     


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