"Nice. I have a great bag that would go with those shoes,
too. Let me go grab it."
"Stela," my dad broke in. "We're going to be late."
Stela fixed him with a look that put him in his place.
"Vince, realy. It's ten minutes away. Let me just run up
and grab the bag for Paige."
My dad folowed her with a fond look as she ran up the
stairs. He always looked at her that way, as though he was
granting her every wish and it made him happy to do it. It
probably did. I sometimes wondered if he'd ever looked at
my mom that way.
"Where are the boys?" I asked him.
He waved a hand toward the den. "In there, somewhere."
"Have a good time," I told him just as Stela reappeared
with a truly monstrous purse.
She handed it to me with a beaming smile. "Here. Won't
they match just perfectly?"
I looked at my pointy-toed boots and then at the bag.
They were both black but that was where any matching I
saw ended. The bag sported several huge gold buckles,
and the straps had been braided with gold lamé. Tassels
dangled. That purse had more bling than Flava Flav's
mouth.
I thanked her anyway, but she held the purse back when I
reached for it. Stela shook her head slowly and eyed me.
She put the bag on the kitchen table.
"No. You know, that's not realy for you, after al. It's not
realy your style, is it, Paige?"
I was too surprised that she thought I had a style to
disagree even for politeness. "No. Not realy."
"Stela. Time." My dad tapped his watch.
She sighed. "Oh, wel. I thought it would look so cute with
those boots, but honestly, Paige, you've got a much…
cleaner…style. Now."
It wasn't the cleanest of compliments, but I smiled anyway.
"You'd better get going."
In a cloud of perfume and the jingle of jewelry, she finaly
alowed him to pul her away. I walked them to the front
door and closed it after them, but it took me until I
reached the kitchen again to realize something. Even a few
months ago, Stela's compliment would have had me
buzzing with resentful gratitude. Now…it wasn't that I
didn't care. It was more that it didn't matter.
My phone buzzed against my thigh and I puled it out with
a smile.
Just showered. Am eating a turkey sandwich. Have a
video to watch. I'm alone on a Saturday night.
He might be expecting an answer, but that wasn't part of
the plan, so I put my phone back in my pocket and turned
my attention to my own dinner.
"Paige!" Tyler bounced into view as I opened the oven and
puled out the pizza, cheese overbrowned. "Guess what!"
I set the pizza on the special marble trivets Stela had
ordered from Italy when they redid their kitchen. "What."
ordered from Italy when they redid their kitchen. "What."
"I got al the way up to level seventeen on Windago
Diamond! C'mon, come and see!" Tyler tugged at my
hand stil covered in the hot mitt.
"Give me a minute, Ty." Together we studied the pizza.
He made a face. "Do we have to eat that?"
"I thought you loved pizza."
He leaned forward. "But it's gross."
"Yeah. Sorry, kiddo, it's what your mom left."
He sighed and leaned on the counter. "Can I have peanut
butter and jely?"
Wow. If the kid was giving up pizza in favor of PB & J
that was pretty bad. "What if I take you guys out? Want to
go to Jungle Java or someplace?"
They had pizza there, overpriced and not much better than
the one Stela had left. At least it wouldn't be burned. And
yeah, it was a little selfish of me. If the boys were running
rampant through the playground or in the arcade I could sit
rampant through the playground or in the arcade I could sit
and read my magazines in as much peace as the constant
noise would alow me.
"Yesss!" Tyler pumped his fist in the air. "Jeremy, c'mon, let's go! Paige is going to take us to Jungle Java!"
One young boy shouldn't have made so much noise, but he
was going to be tal like our dad, and his feet were already
bigger than mine. Tyler thundered into the den with me at
his heels. We found Jeremy sulenly thumbing the controls
of the game hooked up to the big-screen TV in the corner.
He didn't even glance up when Tyler bounded down the
bounce his brother.
"Get off, retard!" Jeremy shoved Tyler hard enough to rol
him onto the floor.
"Hey!" I shouted before either of them had the chance to
get into it. "Shut up, both of you. Cut it out, or you can
stay here and eat your mom's shitty pizza."
Two pairs of wide eyes looked at me. I knew it was the
language, but it had worked at getting their attention. I
gestured at the TV.
gestured at the TV.
"Turn that off and get your shoes on. Let's go."
"Jungle Java blows," Jeremy muttered as he pushed past
me.
I caught him by the elbow. He stopped, refusing to meet
my eyes. He stood almost as tal as me, but he didn't pul
away.
"They have a whole new arcade section." Normaly his
attitude would have tempted me to tel him to get over
himself. Whatever was bugging Jeremy had spiled beyond
his parents and was slopping onto me, but I thought of
what I'd been like at twelve and gave him a break.
He shrugged and wouldn't give me his face while his
brother rocketed past us blabbing a mile a minute about
what he was going to play and how his friend from school
had spent his tickets on a realy cool neon light for his
room, and…and…and…
"Can it, shorty. Get in the car." I watched them both head out the front door, Tyler stil blabbing and Jeremy
maintaining his unusual silence.
Once we got to Jungle Java, I had to physicaly restrain
Tyler from running across the parking lot. "Dude. Chil.
There are cars here."
He lunged like a racehorse trying to get out of the gate.
"Hurry up, Paige! God!"
"God," I mimicked him, but moved them both inside where I forked over twenty bucks in tokens for each of
them and ordered a large pizza and soft drinks.
"Wow, Paige. You're the best!" Tyler goggled at the
tokens in the special plastic holder that clipped to his belt.
Jeremy took his without comment, but held back until I'd
let his brother loose in the arcade. "Thanks."
Forty bucks wasn't anything for me to sneeze at, but I'd
thought to them it would be chump change. Their gratitude
surprised me. "You're welcome. Go have fun. I'l be right
here."
Jeremy nodded and stalked off toward the arcade. Jungle
Java was reputedly adding a laser-tag section to the rear,
but so far nothing had started. For a little place that had
started off serving coffee and hosting an indoor playground
for toddlers, it had realy grown. I'd taken the boys here a
couple times when they were younger. It was hard to
believe Jeremy would start middle school in the fal. It was
hard to believe a lot of things time had changed.
My phone rang and my heart leaped, but it wasn't the next
text from Eric. I'd set my phone to vibrate for texts, and it
wasn't yet time. I took the cal anyway.
"Austin."
"How'd you know it was me?"
"I have caler ID, dork."
He laughed. "So that means I'm in your address book,
huh?"
I didn't want to admit it.
"Paige? Do you have me in your phone?"
"Yes, but only because you keep caling me al the time."
Around me harried mothers squawked at their kids and I
cupped a hand over the mouthpiece.
"Where are you?"
I sighed. "Jungle Java."
"You got Arty?"
"No. Jeremy and Tyler."
Austin was silent for a few seconds. "Can I come over?"
A screaming child ran by me with his mother in hot pursuit.
The clerk brought the pizza to my table and I craned my
neck to motion for my brothers to come and get their food
before it got cold. Both of them saw me but ignored me.
"Little bastards."
"Huh?"
I'd heard what he said, but pretended I hadn't. "Austin, I
have to go."
"You haven't returned any of my messages." Austin didn't
sound pissed off, but I went immediately on the defensive.
Some tunes just don't change, you know?
"Paige, you're not. I'm just saying…I thought maybe we
were past some shit. Christ. Why do you have to beat me
up?"
"You caled me," I pointed out. "What do you want?"
"What do I always want when I cal you?"
"I'm busy," I said flatly.
He didn't take offense at that, either. "I can be there in,
like, ten minutes."
"In ten minutes the pizza wil be al gone and the boys wil
have burned through their tokens."
"Seven minutes."
"Austin…" I sighed and gestured again, standing to make
sure Jeremy and Tyler couldn't ignore me again. "Why?"
"See you."
He hung up before I could say anything else, but then my
He hung up before I could say anything else, but then my
phone gave its tel-tale buzz and I puled it from my pocket
to read the next update.
Halfway through The Life of Brian. Thinking of ice cream.
Again, I didn't reply.
Just the fact he was obeying me had my mind whirling with
al sorts of possibilities. Distracted, I was too busy handing
out soggy pizza and supervising refiling drinks to think
about Austin. It wouldn't be the first time my high school
boyfriend turned ex-husband had promised to meet me
someplace and didn't show. So when I saw a familiar
wheat-gold head moving toward me through the crowd, al
I could do was sit back in my seat with half a slice of pizza
oozing grease al over my fingers.
"Austin!" Jeremy's face lit for a few seconds before he
remembered he was supposed to be furious with the
world. He slumped down and raised a limp hand. "Hey,
man."
"Hey." Austin gave Jeremy the same languid greeting but
slid into the booth next to Tyler. "Shove over, kid. Give
me a slice of that pizza."
Tyler had been in the middle of a long description about
the games he'd already played and the tickets he'd earned.
With fresh ears to bombard, he turned to Austin as though
he'd last seen him yesterday instead of more than three
years ago. I shook my head and laughed as I finished my
slice. Tyler had been just a bit older than Arty when Austin
and I split up, and even while we were together, my dad's
boys hadn't spent much time with us. Yet both of them had
gravitated toward him the same way Arty did. Austin, an
only child, had been a good big brother.
I rarely spent time regretting our divorce, but watching
Austin with the boys guilt flashed over me. There were
other women to replace me, but his relationship with my
younger half siblings had been taken from him, too. His
glance caught me looking, but I didn't look away.
When the boys went back to the arcade, Austin convinced
me to put away my magazines and join him in playing
Skee-Bal. He was better than me, racking up the points
while tickets flooded from the slot. I didn't get as many
points, but I had fun trying. When I tossed my last wooden
bal and managed to get it in the ten-point hole, I turned
with a whoop to find him staring at me.
"What?" I said, self-conscious about pizza-sauce stains on my face.
"What's going on with you?"
My phone buzzed and I took it out. "Nothing," I said as I
flipped it open to read the message.
Done with the movie. Ate ice cream. Considering reading
but not sure what. Thinking of getting into bed. So far,
very dul night. Sorry.
I pushed my phone deep into my pocket and bent to tear
off my tickets. "It's getting late. I need to get the boys
home. Let's go cash these in."
Austin stopped me with a hand on my elbow. "Paige."
Around us the noise level never fel below earsplitting, but
I heard him clearly. I raised an eyebrow and looked at his
hand. He took it away.
"Can we talk?"
I searched the crowd for the boys. "It's late, Austin. I
should have the boys back before my dad and Stela get
should have the boys back before my dad and Stela get
home. I didn't leave a note or anything and they'l be
worried."
"I could come with you."
I'd been half turned from him, but now I gave him my ful
attention. "To my dad's house? Are you nuts?"
For a man who'd been underinvolved in my life, my dad
had been furious with Austin when he'd learned we were
splitting. A lot of that was because of me. I hadn't told my
dad the whole story. Hadn't told anyone, realy, just let
them make their own assumptions. My mom was the only
one who'd seen through my silence and guessed the truth.
Not that I felt judged by it. She'd never mentioned it. I just
knew she knew.
"Your old man stil got it in for me?"
"He's not a fan. Jeremy! Tyler! Let's go!"
Tyler ran toward me with his tickets trailing behind him
from his hand. Jeremy folowed with his fisted tight. Before
they could say a word I tore my string of tickets in half and
handed each a section.
handed each a section.
"Go get your prizes and shake your moneymakers. I have
to get you home before your mom and dad."
"Here. Take these, too." Austin gave them each half of his tickets, too.
They knew a good thing when they had it and ran off
before I could change my mind. I turned to Austin. "You
didn't have to do that."
"What am I going to do with a bunch of junky prizes?" He
shrugged. "They're kids."
"It was nice." I sounded grudging, and he shot me a grin.
"I can be nice." I roled my eyes. "Goodbye, Austin."
&n
bsp; "I can't come with?"
"To my dad's house, no." I held up a hand. "And no, not later, either."
His glance fel to my pocket. "You have a boyfriend now,
or what?"
Nothing happened to the noise around us, but silence stil
Nothing happened to the noise around us, but silence stil
fel over me. I opened my mouth to reply. Nothing came
out. I tried to think of what to say, but my mind stayed
blank.
"You can tel me if you do." Austin's eyes didn't make me
believe his words.
"I don't have a boyfriend, Austin. Jesus. Is it any of your
business?"
I'd always been able to turn around his accusations, but he
wasn't having it this time. His blue-eyed gaze pinned me in
place as easily as his hands on my wrists had done more
than once. He shrugged.
"Or is it just another fuck buddy?" He paused, slim golden brows furrowing.
"No," I said coldly. "And watch your mouth. There are kids around."
Austin's gaze traveled up and down my body before
settling on my face. I couldn't tel from his expression what
he thought. I didn't have to guess, though, because he told
me.
me.
"You've changed, Paige. A lot."
"People change."
He leveled me with a steady look. "Yeah. They do."
And with that, he turned on his heel and walked away.
Chapter 24
"Austin!"
Heads turned. He stopped. He waited until I caught up to
him, which was more than I'd expected. Maybe more than
I deserved.
"Why do you care?"
It wasn't the question I meant to ask, but I wasn't realy
sure what I'd meant to ask. I clamped my mouth shut on
other words, softer ones. I bit my tongue until I tasted
blood.
"Why don't you?"
"I care," I said in a low voice, conscious we were
surrounded by a hundred pairs of eyes.
"Paige! Can I go play—"
I cut Tyler off by jamming my hand into my pocket and
puling out a palmful of coins. "Go. You and Jeremy go.
Don't leave this building."
"Wow." Tyler took the coins from my hand and looked
from me to Austin. "Thanks, Paige!"
"You're good to them," Austin said when Tyler had gone.
"That's me. Sister of the year." I led the way out the glass front doors to the concrete outside. I wished for a coat,
though my chil came from deep inside and not even an
Eskimo parka would have helped.
We stared at each other until I looked away.
"What do you want from me?"