for Christmas, and in fact Stacy felt close to tears herself. It was
the first time they'd been apart during the holidays.
stacy found southern england in January to be warmer
than usual as far as the temperature went, but the "weather"
inside Winslow was still on the cooler side. Stacy, thinking her
relationship with Tanner was finally on solid footing, found
herself confused. After spending much time in prayer concerning
the matter, however, Stacy was reminded just how
intense Tanner's personality could be.
He was throwing himself into a business deal at the moment,
and other than at the dinner table, Stacy wasn't seeing
much of him. He came to bed long after she slept and was up
before she woke. He wasn't even taking time out for Drew.
Stacy found herself keeping her son quiet once again for fear
of disturbing Tanner and incurring his wrath. He had been a
bit on edge lately, and Stacy knew his temper was close to the
surface. It seemed too that he was distancing himself again,
but Stacy prayed that she was only imagining it.
However, Stacy was not imagining Drew's despondency.
The little boy had quickly come to love Mrs. Maxwell, just as
Tanner had predicted, but he was missing Hettie's and his
father's attention terribly. His little face was solemn most of
the time, and he simply wasn't his old chattery self. It was this
melancholy, the quiet his mother was imposing on him while
in the house, and the overall upheaval of their life in the past
months that caused Stacy's heart to melt. For several days
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Drew had been asking to go fishing, and Stacy had simply not
had the energy. He never fussed or made a sound when she
said no, and in some ways this made it all the harder.
"Can we go fishing today, Mum?" Drew would ask. He'd ^
taken to calling her Mum most of the time now, and his
sweetness when he said it made her want to give him the
world on a silver platter.
"Oh, Drew," Stacy would reply, "I don't know if I can
manage it today."
"All right, Mum." He would smile at her just a little. "After
the baby has come, could we then?"
So when Drew sweetly asked Stacy again if they could fish,
she agreed. The baby was due in a month, and she was feeling
tired and huge, but she said yes anyway.
Stacy informed Mrs. Maxwell in the middle of the afternoon,
when she would have normally taken Drew for a few
hours. "Mrs. Maxwell, if anyone is looking for us, Lord Drew
and I have gone fishing. We will be back in a few hours."
The nanny never blinked or commented beyond a respectful
"Yes, my lady," but Stacy could feel her surprise. At
the moment, however, she didn't care. She walked out to the
stable with her son to collect the poles, all the while asking
herself if she could drive a pony trap over her enormous
stomach. One look at their small size, however, and she
changed her mind. She couldn't bear the thought of a pony
pulling her or of having to control one of the larger animals.
Drew had actually had a nap that day. Often these days he
did not fall asleep, but after nearly two hours of sleep he was
in rare form. Stacy had to call him back several times. He was
so excited to be out and making noise that he simply forgot
himself.
They both worked up something of a sweat on the way, but
because the air near the creek seemed cooler to Stacy, she was
thankful they had both dressed warmly as they settled down
to fish. In no time at all they caught several. The smell, which
usually never bothered Stacy, was a bit strong to her today, but
327
Drew was so helpful and entertaining that she determined not
to let it spoil their time.
The beginning of the walk home wasn't much fun for
Stacy. Drew carried the fish himself, but Stacy's legs felt like
lead as they trudged through the fields toward Winslow. However,
Drew, who was still feeling like he'd been set free,
managed for at least part of the time to pull Stacy's mind from
her painful body and legs.
"I'm going to eat a whole fish by myself."
"Are you now?"
"Yes, and then I'm going to share with Papa and Mrs.
Maxwell."
"Oh, Mum!" Drew's huge eyes were comical. "You'll get
the first one because you caught the most. Remember that big
one?"
Stacy laughed when Drew stopped on the path and made
fish lips. She roared when he moved his lips and crossed his
eyes. She was still laughing when Winslow came into view.
Drew was beginning to stagger under the weight of the fish,
which only added to his hilarity. Stacy was so glad they'd gone
that she swooped suddenly and caught Drew in her arms, fish
and all.
"I love you, Drew."
"Oh, Mum, I love you too. Papa!" Drew, while still in his
mother's embrace, spotted his father. He was coming toward
them on the path, his face expressionless but his stride purposeful.
He bent and lifted Drew as soon as he was beside them. He
then reached for the string offish without looking at Stacy and
led them back to Winslow. Stacy sighed gently to herself. He
was coldly furious. As tired as she felt, she knew she would be
in tears if he shouted at her.
Drew talked to his father nonstop on the short walk
inside, and Stacy realized how much she missed his joyful,
happy moods. He was so rarely solemn that it had been like
watching a different child.
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Mrs. Maxwell was waiting for them, as was Reece. The ttt were handed off to Reece, who immediately retired them ft)
the kitchen. Drew was still in his father's arms, but Stacy didnl
wait for Tanner to give the orders.
"Drew, please go with Mrs. Maxwell now. She will give yom your bath. I'm going to eat in my room tonight, Mrs. Maxwell]
Will you please bring Drew to me when he's ready for bed?"
"Certainly, my lady. Come along, Lord Drew. We'll have
you cleaned up in no time."
"I caught fish, Mrs. Maxwell. I used a hook."
"Did you now?"
Stacy watched them for a moment and then without even
glancing at her husband took the stairs herself.
You're a coward, Stacy, she rebuked herself as she walked
away, knowing that Tanner was still standing at the bottom of
the stairs. But try as she might she could not make herself go
back down or even find the energy to turn around and face
him.
Thankfully, Juliet was waiting for her in her sitting room.
For a young woman she was certainly competent, and in a very
short time, Stacy was luxuriating in her bath. The aches in her body and even the coldness in her husband's eyes gradually
receded. She soaked for nearly an hour before Juliet brought
her a lovely peignoir. It was voluminous, something Stacy's
shape welcomed.
"Would you like a dressing gown, my lady?"
"Yes."
When she was warmly covered, S
tacy sat at her dressing
table and let Juliet brush her hair. Since it was wet, the maid
left it down so Stacy could sit before the fire to eat and let her
hair dry.
Dinner was quite the feast, but Stacy was not overly hungry.
She felt thoughtful, meditative even, over her outing with
Drew, Tanner would not seek her out, she was certain of that.
And even if he did bring the subject up, Stacy realized she was
not sorry for her actions. In fact, the joy she saw in her little
329
r's face was enough to convince her that she would do it
fagain should he ask.
A knock at the door interrupted Stacy's musings, and a
moment later Drew and Mrs. Maxwell came through. Drew sat
in what was left of his mother's lap, and Mrs. Maxwell took a
chair out of the way.
"Are you going to read to me tonight, Mum?"
"Well, now," Stacy spoke softly, her eyes on his precious
face. "I'm rather tired. How would you like to tell me a story?"
Drew's eyes rounded with delight.
"All right. How about the story of Ruth? Would you like to
hear that one?"
Stacy was telling him yes when Tanner came soft-footedly
into the room. Drew did not notice his presence, and Stacy,
although surprised to see him, did not give him away.
"Ruth was married, but her husband died," Drew began.
"She lived in Moab with her mother, I think." Drew didn't
understand about in-laws, so Stacy let it pass. "Anyway, they
went back to where Naomi lived, and then Ruth went to work
in the fields. Bozus--"
"Boaz," Stacy corrected him.
"Boaz," Drew started again, "owned the field, and when
he saw Ruth he told his servants to be kind to her. They were,
and then Naomi sent Ruth to Boaz, so Boaz would know he
could marry her. They were married and had a baby named
Jesse."
"Obed," Stacy corrected gently.
"Oh, that's right, Obed And then Obed had Jesse and
Jesse had David and then," Drew's voice grew as triumphant
as Stacy's whenever she told the story, "a long time later,
Joseph was born, and he was married to Mary, and Mary had Jesus. Jesus was not Joseph's son, because He was the Son of God."
"Oh, Drew." Stacy's voice was soft with wonder. She had
talked to him about these things almost from the time he was
born, but Stacy had not realized just how much he had taken
in. She could feel Tanner's eyes on them in the dim light of the
330
fire, but she kept her own gaze averted A jaw-popping
from Drew reminded Stacy of how late it was getting.
"You best head off now, my darling."
"All right, Mumma. Good night."
They kissed sweetly, and then he crawled from her lap;
moved toward Mrs. Maxwell. Tanner chose that moment
come out of the shadows.
"Come along, old man," he said as he swung Drew up ont
his shoulders and moved to the door. "I'll cart you off to bed*!
"Good night, Mum," Drew managed one last time. Mrs.
Maxwell followed her young charge, and Stacy found herself 1
alone. She was growing more weary by the second, so she took
herself toward the bedroom before she fell asleep in the chair.
Knowing it would be disastrous at this point to lie down,
Stacy sat on the edge of the bed to read her Bible. She read
from Jeremiah 9, verses 23 and 24.
"Thus saith the Lord, Let not the wise man glory in his
wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not
the rich man glory in his riches, but let him that glorieth glory
in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the
Lord who exerciseth lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness
in the earth; for in these things I delight, saith the
Lord"
These were the verses Lady Andrea had shared with Stacy
concerning Romans 12. Stacy had been worried about her
attitude. She feared that she might be thinking of herself more
highly than she ought to by telling people how God was
working in her life and heart. The verses in Jeremiah gave her
peace, as long as she gave God the glory, she was moving with
a right attitude and heart. The verses also gave her a direction
for prayer, something she would have spent some time doing
right then, but she was growing very weary.
She stood and removed her robe, absently wondering
when Tanner would come to bed. She had just turned the
lantern down low when he entered. Stacy turned from the bed
where she'd been ready to climb in and watched him. He
stood for a moment, his eyes seeming to assess her before
331
loving to turn the lantern higher, Stacy said nothing to the
Beold anger in his eyes, and Tanner, obviously expecting some-Fthing,
began to pace. Stacy watched him in silence. Finally he
,, stopped and pinned her to the floor with furious eyes.
"It is beyond me, Anastasia, how you could go fishing in
your condition."
He began to pace again, and quite suddenly Stacy was
overcome with anger, rage actually. Her hands fisted in front
of her. When Tanner stopped and pointed a finger at her,
ready to go again, Stacy cut him off.
"Don't you say a word to me, Tanner Richardson! Don't you
even so much as scowl in my direction!"
Tanner was so taken aback by this outburst that the anger
was surprised right out of him.
"Drew's entire life has been turned upside down in the
last year. His grandpapa, the only father he'd ever known,
suddenly leaves, and he can't talk to him or play with him
anymore. Then we move to London where everything smells
and he sees water but he can't fish. You come on the scene
when he's finally beginning to adjust to Brentwood, and we're
whisked out here to Winslow where we're treated like so
much baggage--and unwanted baggage to boot!
"He no more finds out that you're his father, then we go
away again. Now his mother is starting to rival his pony for
size, and his father is so busy with work that he doesn't have a
moment to give him.
"I will take Drew fishing if he asks me, and no one will
gainsay me! I will take him until my pains begin, if that's what
it takes for him to know that he's loved and cared for."
Stacy was trembling from head to foot. She turned and
walked on shaking legs to the window and simply stared at the
glass. Never had she felt so angry and alone. She heard Tanner
come up behind her but didn't move or speak, not even when
his arms came around her and he rested his chin on top of her
head.
"You're trembling." His voice was a whisper.
Stacy didn't reply.
332
"I must admit to you that I've never looked at it * Drew's standpoint. Suddenly your actions make compl
sense."
"I meant what I said, Tanner."
"I know you did"
"Drew needs me to be as normal as possible."
"I understand."
They fell silent then, and Stacy felt bone weary witlm being sleepy. She thought her body could melt with exhaus3
tion, but her mind was still moving like a team out of control'
"I need to lie down, Tanner."
He didn't reply, but immediately lifted her and moved to
the bed. She landed softly against the mattress where his
hands gently tucked her in and made her comfortable.
"Can you go to sleep now?" he asked.
"I'm not sleepy, just weary."
Reaching to turn down the light, Tanner suddenly stopped
He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at Stacy.
"You've been busy lately," Stacy commented, not able to
read his thoughts through his eyes.
"Yes" was all he said
"Tanner," Stacy spoke, feeling suddenly brave. "Should we
talk about the Cradwell party now?"
"No." Tanner's answer was immediate, but not angry.
Stacy looked disappointed, so he explained.
"I realize now that Stanley was out of his head, and that
you were innocent of all he claimed, but I'm not ready to hear
what happened."
Stacy nodded, and a weight that she had become accustomed
to suddenly lifted from her shoulders. He believed her.
After all this time he knew she had been faithful. Thank You,
Father; thank You, Holy God
"How was your delivery with Drew?"
The question was so far from Stacy's own thoughts that she
didn't immediately answer him.
"Was it hard?" Tanner became more specific, thinking
she'd misunderstood him.
333
"I think most deliveries are hard, but when you see the yy you tend to forget all about the pain."
r * Stacy saw that he was not satisfied with her answer. She
flossed around in her mind for what he needed, and suddenly
fHettie's face came into view. This was why Tanner had put 1 distance between them, why he had been working so hard
Hettie had talked and scared him about the birth. Stacy was as
certain of this as if she herself had heard the conversation.
With a voice tender with compassion, she asked, "Are you
worried about something, Tanner?"
He didn't answer. Stacy knew she had to be honest.
"They tell me I nearly bled to death after Drew was born. I
was rather out of it, so I don't recall everything. Drew was over
24 hours old before I was even coherent enough to learn that
I'd had a baby boy."
Tanner licked his suddenly dry lips. "And do you not dread
the coming birth?"
"No, I guess I don't. I was down for two weeks--"
"I know," Tanner cut her off. "You didn't write."
Stacy stared at him, confounded by the fact that he would