I'm not sure if you knew I was back in London,
but I arrived just this week. I am staying at Brentood
with Roddy and Lucinda. I would like to see
you. I know I told you I would not return unless you
sent for me, but my grandfather has died and I've
come at Lucinda's bidding.
I would like to see you, Tanner. I would like to
talk about the Cradwell party and explain about
Nigel Stanley. I made a terrible mistake, and if we
could only talk, I feel we might resolve this painful
thing between us.
There has never been anyone but you, Tanner. I
was very naive concerning Lord Stanley, and I didn't
understand his intentions quickly enough to allow
me to escape him, so when you came in, it looked as
though we'd met. I don't know what possessed him
to tell you we loved each other because I'd never
seen him before the party, and, aside from that, I
was already in love with you. Please send for me,
Tanner, and give me a chance to explain.
Always yours,
Stacy
He balled the letter in his hand, but not out of anger. For
weeks now he'd kept Stacy at arm's length, never letting her
close to his heart. He had been ready to believe her innocence,
but when he'd read the first part of the letter where he
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thought she'd all but confessed, he'd gone back to keeping her
as far from him as possible.
Leslie's face swam through his mind. For the first time he
pushed it away with barely a thought. Stacy herself reminded
him that she was not Leslie. That fact was never more evident
to Tanner than it was right now.
His anger had been putting distance between him and
Stacy even before they were married. If he was going to get his
wife back, Tanner knew he was going to have to get a grip on
himself. He'd ask her first. If that didn't work, he'd tell her she
was coming back so he could prove he was ready to be the
husband and father he needed to be.
Tanner knew he couldn't take one more day without her at
Winslow. Even though the shadows were long, Tanner ordered
his carriage. Price packed and accompanied him, and the next
morning he was at Brentwood, ready to see his wife.
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"Tell me where she is, Lucinda."
"No."
"Did Stacy ask you to hide her?"
Lucinda hesitated just long enough for Tanner to realize
she was lying. "Yes, she did. She's tired of the way she's treated
at Winslow and tired of you. You're despicable and cruel, and
you don't deserve her! She never wants to see you again!"
It was quite obvious that Lucinda was verbalizing her own
feelings and those she wished were Stacy's.
"You have no right to play with people's lives, Lucinda."
Tanner's voice was calm, and Lucinda looked uncertain for the
first time. "Now tell me where she is."
The older woman looked as if she might be considering
it, but then her chin came out and she slowly shook her head
Tanner's eyes bored into hers, but still she did not flinch.
Without a word, Tanner turned on his heel and walked out.
"What do you mean she's not here?"
"Just what I said," Lucinda told him unsympathetically.
"She's not here, nor is Drew. They've gone to stay with friends
in the country."
Tanner frowned. The only friends Stacy had in the country
were their neighbors around Winslow, and outside of Brandon
and Sunny, he knew she wouldn't visit them. Even without
asking, Tanner knew she was not at Bracken.
"When do you expect them back?" Tanner was keeping a
tight grip on his temper.
"Oh," Lucinda said airily, covering the fact that they'd only
just left, "Stacy desperately needs a rest. She'll probably stay
until the baby is born."
Tanner would tolerate no such thing. It was the second
week in October and he'd already missed her birthday. There
was no way he'd let anyone keep him from his wife and son
until sometime the next year.
"You deliberately waited until I was gone, and then you
"Now you sound like Tanner." She spat the words.
"Tanner was here?" Roddy was incredulous, but Lucinda,
having regretted telling him, would not look in his direction.
He'd returned an hour earlier with flowers for both Stacy and
his wife and a hat for Drew, only to be told they been sent
away, and no one except Lucinda knew where. All of their own
coachmen and coaches were present, telling Roddy that
Lucinda had hired someone else. Roddy had no one to question.
"Lucinda, did you tell Tanner where she is?"
"No, and I won't tell you. You're too soft, and I know you
would tell him. I'll not give Tanner Richardson another chance
to hurt my girl."
298
Roddy sat down in absolute defeat. He'd never seen
Lucinda quite this consumed. When Stacy arrived he'd been
troubled about the relationship. But when Tanner came looking
for his wife--in Roddy Caruthers' book that meant he
cared.
Oh, Cinda, he thought as he watched her try to ignore him. What have you done?
They didn't speak of it again, and after a few days Lucinda
began to believe that Roddy had come around to her way of
thinking. There was a strain between them, but Lucinda refused
to acknowledge it, smiling a little too brightly when
Roddy was in the room and suggesting one party or tea after another. She would have been livid if she'd known that Roddy
was investigating Stacy's whereabouts each morning when he
left the house.
Tanner stayed in London for a week but came up with
nothing. He considered calling in the police, but Lucinda was
Stacy's aunt, and he wanted to avoid that at all costs. He was
on the verge of hiring an investigator when he thought maybe
he should check with Brandon and Sunny. He knew Stacy
wouldn't be there, but he hoped that with all the time Stacy
spent with Sunny, the duchess would know something.
He arrived unannounced at Bracken near dinnertime, but
the Hawkesburys made him feel welcome. Soon he was sitting
down to eat with them. Tanner had no idea how drained he
appeared.
"Did you know that Stacy left Winslow?" he asked partway
through the meal.
"Yes," Sunny answered "I just received a letter."
"A letter? Does it say where she is?" Tanner nearly rose
from his chair.
"Why, she's in London with Roddy and Lucinda. Didn't you
know?"
299
Tanner sighed deeply and explained Sunny's emotions
were wrung out once again by this unsettled couple. Just when
it seemed that Tanner was finally ready to be a husband to
Stacy, Lucinda had to pull this.
"Did she ever say anything to you, Sunny, that might tell
me where she is?"
"I don't think so. I mean, Lucinda has friends everywhere,
in the country and
all over London. Maybe someone on her
staff would know something."
"Or you might try questioning your own staff, Tanner.
They might be of some help."
"I doubt that," Sunny said softly, but Tanner had heard.
"What did you mean, Sunny?"
"Your staff is not very close to Stacy, so I doubt if she would
confide in any of them."
Tanner studied her and knew there was more. "Is there
anything else you'd like to tell me?"
Looking uncomfortable, the duchess suddenly knew what
Stacy was at times afraid of. There was an intensity about
Tanner that could be unnerving, but she knew she had to be
honest.
"Some of the staff at Winslow make things pretty hard for
Stacy."
"In what way?"
Sunny explained what she'd seen and the little Stacy had
shared with her. "Stacy isn't the type to complain. In fact, if it
wasn't for Drew, she probably wouldn't have said a word, but
Drew naturally brings out the mother in her. She talked to me
out of concern for him."
Tanner was quiet, but a hardness entered his eye. He
remembered his fish dinner with Stacy and Drew and how
little food they'd had on the table before his trays arrived.
Just looking at him, Brandon could see that his friend was
developing a plan. After a moment he asked, "What will you
do?"
Tanner answered immediately. "I'll go back to Winslow
300
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stacy wandered through. the gallery, her round tummy
preceding her, and studied the portraits of generations of
Blackwells. Some looked stuffy and old before their time, and
some looked like they had lived life to the fullest.
Of course it wasn't fair to judge a person by his portrait,
but Stacy felt as if she had to examine them all before seeking
out the one she came to see, the one who reminded her of
Tanner.
Lord and Lady Blackwell were no relation to her husband
whatsoever, but one of their ancestors bore a striking resemblance
to Tanner. It certainly wasn't the same as being with
him, but it was nice to look into brown eyes so like his and to
study that firm chin that even Drew was beginning to sport.
Stacy now stood before the portrait. It was as she remembered
it, but today she didn't enjoy it as much because she
missed Tanner terribly and ached over the fact that he hadn't
sought her out. It seemed that things really were over between
them. Stacy thought maybe she should return to Middlesbrough.
Lord and Lady Blackwell couldn't have been kinder,
but Stacy was starting to lose hope.
With Stacy's feelings about London, Lucinda had had no
trouble coaxing her out into the country. However, she had
been here for weeks with almost no contact from Lucinda and
none at all from Roddy. The letters that had come from her
302
aunt were so bland, never addressing Stacy's questions, that]
she felt completely out of touch. Stacy missed everyone so1 much she was considering returning to Brentwood for a visit
before leaving on her way north, but the first time she had
mentioned a possible trip, Lady Blackwell had acted oddly.
Stacy had thought little of this and decided to stay put for
the time. But then the previous night, when once again Stacy
mentioned going to see her aunt and uncle, Lady Blackwell
stumbled all over her words until Lord Blackwell gently
explained that they were rather busy right now and maybe
another time would be best.
Stacy couldn't believe her ears. Surely they understood
that she could go without them. Not to mention the fact that
this was the first time they'd denied her anything. Up until j
now they couldn't do enough for her. She and Drew had been 1
lavished with gifts to meet every possible want or need. Meals 1
were centered around them and so sumptuous that Stacy
thought she might be putting on more weight than necessary.
She mentioned it to Hettie at one point, but Hettie only
shook her head.^
"You're swollen with child. How did you expect to look?"
"I guess you're right," Stacy sighed. "But if Tanner ever
does come for me, he won't be able to get his arms around
me."
"Are you still hoping for that?"
"You know I am."
The older woman snorted.
"Now what does that mean?" Stacy wanted to know. In all
of the weeks that Stacy had been waiting for Tanner to come
Hettie had never said a word against him.
"It means that even if he is looking for you, I wonder if he'll
be able to find you."
"What are you saying, Hettie?" The duchess' voice became f firm.
"I'm saying I don't like the way we left London. Your aunt
was so nervous she jumped at the slightest noise. And it
303
seemed strange to me that a hired coach and driver brought us
here."
Stacy stared at her, and understanding dawned. You knew,
Stacy, she said to herself. You 'we known for days that all was
not right here, and you've wondered for weeks why Lucinda
and Roddy never visited. Tanner didn 't come, and thafs all
you've cared about. Instead of drowning in self-pity, you
should have been more aware.
"What are you going to do?" Hettie asked.
"Nothing right now. I'm going to sleep on it and then confront the Blackwells in the morning."
"You make it sound as if it were bedtime."
"I know it's just past lunch, but I think better in the
morning. If the Blackwells won't help me, I'll have the day to
decide how to get us back to London."
Hettie finally agreed that it was a good plan. Both women
would have been filled with joy had they realized that even as
they spoke, help was on the way.
If Roddy had ever thought there was anything dimwitted
about his wife, he now knew better. He would never have
believed that she could so completely cover her tracks. It
seemed as if Stacy and Drew had vanished off the face of the
earth.
Not a single coach company would admit to having done
business with her, nor would any of the coachmen. He racked
his brain for every family they knew, even the slightest of
acquaintances, and had them all checked out, but to no avail.
Weeks later, he'd finally written to Noel and Elena, not wanting
to upset them but desperate to find Stacy.
Elena had written back, stating that they had heard from Stacy. She had misplaced the letter, but remembered that she
304
and Drew were doing fine and staying with someone named
Blackmore or something similar.
It had been all Roddy needed. Little wonder he'd never
considered the Blackwells. Decades before, Lady Blackwell
and Lucinda had quarreled. Lucinda hadn't spoken to her in 30
years.
Now as Roddy's carriage took him deep into the country,
he let his heart feel all the ache he'd tried to squelch. Never
had he been so disappointed in anyone as he was with Lucinda
or himself, for he knew he was partially to blame.
Lucinda had been running the lives of others for years,
and Roddy had allowed it with nary a word. He realized now
that he should have been bolder on countless occasions. He
could have and should have told her to mind her own business.
Roddy wondered if perhaps this was why Stacy was so
special to him. They both feared confronting the people they
loved the most. Stacy had been so heavy on his mind in the last
weeks that the thought of getting this close and being wrong
made him a bundle of nerves. He also began to know panic at
the thought that Stacy would be there, but the Blackwells
would forbid him entrance.
"Please help me, God," Roddy prayed, not for the first
time. He knew it was a selfish prayer and that finding her was
partly selfish also. He had questions he needed to ask, and he
believed with all of his heart that the only person who could
answer them was Stacy.
Stacy heard voices from her place in the library. They were
not raised in anger, but something was not right. She was able
to come to the door without being spotted and did so to
eavesdrop shamelessly.
"I tell you she's not here." This came from Lady Blackwell.
305
"And I believe that she is." Stacy heard Roddy's voice but
kept still.
"I don't know where you've gotten this ridiculous notion,
but I must ask you to leave."
"I will not leave until I'm certain Lady Stacy and her son
are not here."
"Please--"
"No." Roddy's voice was firm. "Now tell me the truth; tell
me where--"
Roddy cut off when Stacy suddenly stepped into view. The
sigh that escaped his chest was heartfelt. Stacy came forward,
but Lady Blackwell wouldn't look at her, even when she spoke.
"Lucinda asked me to keep you and hold all of your letters
to Brentwood. It had been so long since she and I had--" The
older woman stopped and looked helplessly at Stacy. "I'm
sorry."
Both Stacy and Roddy watched her walk away, head down,
steps laden. It was a posture that Stacy would have normally
pitied, but the import of Lady Blackwell's words were pressing
in upon her. All these weeks, months actually, she'd waited to
hear from someone or dreamed of looking up and seeing
Tanner approaching, but no one had even known where she
was. No one but Lucinda.
"Roddy, what has Lucinda done?"
Roddy took in her flushed features and doubted his wisdom