brushed the hair over his forehead. Drew's grin broadened,
although Stacy wasn't certain he actually understood. Stacy
doubted that Tanner was as calm outside as he appeared, but
she was thrilled with the way it had gone.
Conversation started up again among the three of them,
and whenever Drew started to call Tanner sir or lord, someone
would gently correct him. Stacy wasn't certain as to how
much he was beginning to understand until it was bedtime.
"Would you like Papa to carry you to bed?" she asked.
Drew's eyes flew to Tanner's, and Stacy's smile was huge
as he swung his small son up into his arms.
"Off we go, son." It was as if it happened all the time.
Stacy nearly floated into Drew's bedroom. They were
going to be a family! Tanner was not what you'd call warm to
her, but he didn't seem quite so angry.
Thank You, Lord, Stacy silently prayed. Thank You for
giving us another chance. Please help us to make the best of it.
287*eim
madame angelica, london's premier dressmaker, rattled
off a string of sentences in rapid French to Tanner, Stacy had
to hold her mouth shut as Tanner replied back in French.
When pleasure and something akin to greed lit the woman's
eyes, it wasn't hard to figure out that Tanner had told her what
he sought.
"Come in, my lady," Angelica nearly cooed She had dozens
of seamstresses and assistants, but this was a duchess, and for
this reason Angelica would see to the fittings herself.
"Thank you."
Stacy and Tanner followed her, Stacy noticing as they
walked that she had the disconcerting habit of muttering to
herself in French. Stacy wondered what the dressmaker was
saying as they were led into the private dressing room.
"I need my tape," Madame Angelica explained briskly and
rushed off still muttering to herself. Stacy looked to Tanner.
"She's quite taken with your figure, but she says your
dress, one of her own magnificent creations, is sadly out of
date." Tanner's voice was so bored as he recited this that Stacy
blushed.
She found herself wishing that Sunny had never mentioned
Tanner's pride. He was only doing this for himself,
because it was shaming his reputation to have his wife seen in
outdated clothes. Stacy felt resentment rising within her.
287
"Now then." The dressmaker was back. "I will help you out
of this gown," she began, and then the rest was in French. Just
moments passed before Stacy found herself in her underclothes,
being measured from head to foot.
"Now, I have a dress, the latest style and almost complete,
but the fabric, you see, is flawed. I would like you to try it just
for fit."
Stacy agreed with a nod of her head, and the older woman
was gone and back in record time, carrying a gold creation
over her arm. The dress was slipped over Stacy's shoulders,
settled around her hips, and buttoned up the back. Madame
Angelica had forgotten yet one more thing, and as she rushed
off, Stacy was given her first full look in the mirror. She was
horrified by what she saw... why not even her shift was that
low!
Stacy told herself not to overreact; maybe there hadbeen a
mistake. But as she studied herself in the mirror, she knew
there had been no error. Her hand came slowly to her mouth
as her stomach churned
Oh please, Stacy silently begged her husband. Please don't
make me go into public this way.
Stacy was so shaken that tears filled her eyes. Knowing
that Tanner was somewhere behind and to the side of her,
Stacy carefully moved her face away from him as well as her
own image in the mirror. She racked her brain for a solution,
but she was too much in a panic and none came. Tanner would
be furious if she made a scene in the dress shop.
A chance glance in the mirror told her that Tanner had
moved until he could study her face in the reflection. Stacy
swiftly turned her tear-filled eyes away, but the hand she'd
placed over the missing material told Tanner all he needed to
know.
"Now then." Angelica was back.
"The dress is too low," Tanner interrupted before she
could say another word.
288
shocked, "it is the latest style, and your wife's figure, ooh la
la--it is perfection. How can--"
"It's too low," Tanner stated again, and this time his voice
did not invite Angelica to argue.
With a heartfelt sigh, she asked, "What is it you wish?"
"Lady Richardson will show you."
Stacy was still shaking, but she managed to show Angelica
what she had in mind. The plump dressmaker was not at all
happy, but she gave no further argument.
Just a short time later Stacy was back in her own dress, and
the process of choosing patterns and fabrics began. She
learned that Tanner had magnificent taste, and Stacy had to
do little more than nod while he, Angelica, and all her helpers
sorted their way through patterns and bolts of cloth.
It wasn't until they were back in the carriage that Stacy was
given a chance to thank Tanner. He frowned at her as though
the words were not necessary, so Stacy let the subject drop as
well as her eyes.
289
Middlesbrough, which is where I suspect Stacy will go if
Tanner ever sends her away again."
Luanda's brow furrowed. She had thought of this, but it
was not something of which she approved. Roddy saw the
stubborn look on her face and frowned in concern. Lucinda
had been running people's lives for years, and even though
she said little to Stacy, Roddy knew she still wanted to run hers
as well.
From time to time Roddy had worried over his wife's
busyness, but never like he did now. When it came to Stacy,
and most especially Drew, she was like a woman possessed.
Roddy had tried to talk with her on a number of occasions, but
she always grew very agitated and he would let the matter
drop.
He contemplated bringing it up now but hesitated, feeling
a coward Another hour passed. Just as he was finally ready to
say something, Tanner and Stacy arrived. Even though he was
grateful, he felt cowardly for his relief.
"I've never been tempted toward criminal actions before,"
Lucinda told her husband. "But I want to steal this child."
Roddy laughed. He certainly knew how she felt. Drew had
been spending the day with them, and even though they had
known he should have a nap, the time had just flown. Now he
was asleep in Roddy's lap, and the two adults present could
not keep their eyes off of him.
"I love the way his face flushes when he sleeps," Roddy
murmured.
"I've missed him so much. I was even hoping things
wouldn't work out between Stacy and Tanner so he could
come back here."
"Cinda." Roddy's voice was a soft rebuke. "That's
a horrible
way to think, and besides, Winslow is closer to us than
The day after the dress fitting, a Richardson carriage
pulled up in front of Featherstone. Stacy glanced out the
carriage window to see Lady Andrea waiting for her. The first
day in town, after Price had given Stacy the itinerary, she had
been on the verge of sending her note to Lucinda and Roddy
suggesting they have tea. However, a note arrived from Brandon's
mother before Stacy could do anything.
How she had known that Stacy was in London, Stacy could
not imagine, but she was thrilled to be able to accept. The
note she had finally sent to Lucinda and Roddy asked them if
they would like to have Drew while she was at the dressmaker's
and with Lady Andrea. Stacy felt a twinge of guilt at
not spending the following day with them, but wanted very
much to see Lady Andrea and felt her family would understand
292
"My dear," Andrea said warmly as she came forward .
embraced Stacy. "I'm so glad you came. Come inside. I've.
splendid tea laid out. Is Drew with you?"a
"He came to London with us, yes, but right now he's atl
Brentwood."
Andrea smiled. "Lucinda must be thrilled"
Stacy moved inside with her hostess and when she'd laid
off her things, she asked Lady Andrea how she'd known of her
presence.
"I was in need of some papers from Bracken," the older J
woman told her. "Brandon sent them by coach yesterday, and
when they arrived I found that Sunny had added a letter
telling of your visit."
"I'm so glad she did. I don't care for London all that much,
and it's nice to come here where I can forget the gossips and
even the dressmaker."
"Was it so bad?"
Stacy pulled a face. "I hadn't realized the necklines had
gone so low."
Andrea nodded understandingly. "I'm afraid they become
barer every year. Is that what Tanner wanted for you?"
Stacy sighed gently, still feeling very thankful. "No, he
didn't. I was quite nearly in tears in the dressing room, and he
didn't push me. I know Madame Angelica thought we were
mad, but at least my dresses will be modest."
"It's amazing isn't it? I mean, the little ways God takes care
of us?"
"Oh, my," Stacy agreed fervently, "I certainly found that
out this last year."
Andrea poured the tea then, and Stacy shared some of the
ways God had worked in her heart and at Winslow. Andrea's
eyes filled with tears as Stacy shared how thankful she was for
the little things, like being moved from the north wing. Then
she told of the great things, such as Tanner's wanting Drew to
know of his parentage.
Andrea's handkerchief was in her hand when she told
Stacy she would be praying that Tanner would continue to
291
grow closer to her and Drew. They fell silent for a time, and
then Stacy spoke thoughtfully.
"I could have a better attitude about the fittings. Lucinda
adores shopping and fittings, and when I lived with her she
finally despaired of ever changing me."
"Sunny positively hates shopping, so do you know what
she does?"
"No,"
"She sends her measurements to Madame Angelica. She's
been doing it for years. When the wardrobe is completed, it's
all sent to Bracken. When the gowns arrive she needs an
occasional tuck here and there, but she has a marvelous maid
who can do that for her. She dresses in the latest with none of
the pains of fittings."
"What a marvelous idea! I might ask her about that when I
return. Of course I won't need anything for a time, but it's
certainly a handy idea."
The next two hours flew by as the two women shared
about everything under the sun. Stacy had a few questions
about the passage of Scripture she was studying in Romans 12.
Lady Andrea proved a great help. Stacy's own words to Roddy
came to mind as the coach moved toward Tanner's town
house.
God bos never let me down. When I truly need to know
something, He always shows me.
293
mer is so difficult to live with, but I don't have to answer for
actions, only for my own response.
"I'm afraid to tell Tanner, Lord. Please be with me. Please
jve me boldness. Please use this to soften his heart, and if it
fdoesn't, give me the right words."
by the time tanner, stacy, hettie, and drew arrived back
at Winslow, Stacy was so tired she could hardly move. The ride
seemed to lengthen every time she made it. She let Hettie feed
Drew while she bathed, and as soon as she'd read to him and
tucked him in, she took herself off to bed. She slept dreamessly
all through the night but woke earlier than she would
have liked.
Stacy rolled to her stomach, determined to go back to
sleep, but a sudden tenderness in her breasts caused her to
open her eyes. She lay for some time thinking on the fact that
this tenderness wasn't so sudden; she just hadn't given it any
heed. It had been this way with Drew also. Long after Stacy
should have given attention to the other signs, she would not
let her heart face the evidence before her. Stacy sat up slowly.
She and Tanner had only shared one night. Was it possible?
"Of course it's possible."
Stacy reached for her Bible. She read about Sarah, Abraham's
wife, and how she had a child when she was 90. Sarah
wasn't perfect, but she had faith in God. Stacy turned to
Hebrews 11:11 and read that Sarah found God faithful to the
promise He made to give her a child.
"You've given me no such promise, Lord, but You have said
that You will never leave me or forsake me. If there is to be
another child, help me to see Your sovereignty in its conception.
Stacy waited three more days before approaching Tanner,
carefully monitoring the condition of her body. He was in his
study as usual, and Stacy could see that he was not happy to be
disturbed. She'd prayed long and hard about this conversation,
however, so she stepped forward with more boldness
than she ever had before to take a chair in front of his desk.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, Tanner, but I need to speak with
you."
Tanner placed his papers back on the desk and sat back in
his chair; his face a study in indifference. Stacy cleared her
throat.
"I'm pregnant, Tanner. I must be some weeks along, but I
just now realized it."
Nothing. She was met with absolute silence; his face never
changed expression.
"Tanner, did you hear me?"
"Yes, I heard you."
Stacy sat nonplussed.
"Are you worried the child isn't yours?" she asked, desperately
trying to gauge his true feelings.
"Is it mine?" Tanner's voice was still unresponsive.
"Yes."
The duke shrugged, and Stacy realized she had been prepared
for anything but his indifference. She stood slowly,
thinking that if she stayed in the room she might break down,
but something stopped her from exiting. At the door, Stacy
turned and faced her husband again. He had not gone back to
294
his papers, so Stacy was able to speak with her eyes holding
his,
"When you came for me atlucinda and Roddy's, I came
back to you because I was afraid to say no, but there was more,
Tanner. I also came because I believed it might be God's way
of repairing my marriage.
"I've never stopped loving you. When you wanted me
back, even before you knew that Drew was yours, I took that as
a good sign. But it hasn't been good. You despise me, and the
staff takes their cue from you. I would love to stay right now
and work on our marriage, but I must think of our unborn
baby. Drew and I will be leaving for Lucinda and Roddy's as
soon as we're packed" Stacy paused, seemingly out of energy,
but an unprecedented boldness came over her.
"I never really stood a chance, did I, Tanner? Leslie saw to
that. Well, I'm not Leslie. I'm Stacy The letter is still in my
dressing room, Tanner. You're welcome to go and get it. This
time I hope you read the whole thing."
Tanner never moved from his chair as the door closed. He
knew Stacy would actually leave, and because he thought the
distance might do them some good, he did not try to stop her.
He was surprised, however, when she left without seeking
him out again. Two hours later the carriage pulled away, and
she hadn't even brought Drew in to say goodbye.
You just want her because she's not here. All this time she
was right beneath your roof, and you ignored her. Now that
she's gone you want to talk to her. The feeling will pass.
Tanner knew he was lying to himself. He had said all of
this to himself and more, but Stacy had only been gone one
week and he had never known such loneliness. Tanner had
held himself in check most of the time Stacy had been there,
watching her from down the hall or from a window when she
295
wasn't aware. To let her know that he thought of her and Drew
constantly would not do. If he became vulnerable to her, she
would only hurt him again. Or would she? Tanner was beginning
to doubt his own sanity.
Almost of their own volition, Tanner's feet moved toward
Stacy's bedroom. Her dressing room was nearly empty, but
just as she'd said, the letter was there. Tanner started at the
beginning again.
Dear Tanner,