even greater fool for giving him sons."
"Oh, Tanner" was all Stacy could say.
"It's not going to be that way for Drew. This is your home
now, our home. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what
you did, but Drew's going to have his mother and father with
him."
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257
Stacy sighed. "You still believe the worst, Tanner, even
after seeing Drew?"
"Drew is obviously my son, Stacy, but we won't speak of the
other." His voice said there would be no argument and, as
usual, Stacy acquiesced.
When Stacy looked defeated, Tanner's hands gently stroked
her waist. "Come have breakfast with me. Bring Drew if you'd
like."
Stacy saw it for the olive branch that it was. She hated
living under this false accusation, but for now she was going to
have to let it drop. It wasn't ideal, but maybe in time he would
come to see that there had never been anyone but him.
"What is it?"
"It's an egg dish. Now I want you to try some."
The three-year-old's face was so comical that Tanner had
to raise his napkin to his mouth to hide his smile. If he wanted
to provoke his wife at that moment and probably earn himself
a tongue-lashing, all he had to do was laugh. He certainly
admired her way with Drew, especially when she must have
been tempted to laugh herself. Tanner knew he would never
have made it.
The duke was correct about his wife's desire to laugh.
When Drew started to eat, Stacy sent a warning glance in
Tanner's direction, but not even she could hide the twinkle in
her eye before turning to her own plate.
Tanner was just starting on his third cup of coffee when he
realized that a nanny or nurse should have been doing Stacy's
job. He pondered on the different women who had been in
charge of him and his brother over the years, and then knew it
would be years before Drew appreciated having his mother
there instead.
While most women were sewing or visiting with friends,
Drew's mother was teaching him to eat correctly and to
respect his elders. It suddenly occurred to him why. There
would not have been money in the viscount's household for a
luxury such as a nurse. Tanner determined to ask Stacy if she
wanted to hire a nanny, but he knew what the answer would
be.
"Tanner," Stacy cut into his thoughts, "would it be a problem
if I visited Bracken today?"
Tanner's brows rose to his hairline. "You certainly don't
need to ask permission to go calling, Stacy. Just order the
carriage and go."
*Thank you, Tanner," she said softly. He almost told her
that wasn't necessary either.
"Am I going to Racken?"
"It's Bracken," his mother corrected him, "and, yes, you
are. You can play with Lady Sunny's little boys."
"Do they have toys?"
"I'm sure they do," Stacy answered absently and reached
for her cup of tea. She wouldn't have been quite so calm if
she'd seen Tanner's shocked look.
He had a sudden image of his son playing with shoes on
the floor of his mother's sitting room. Something painful tore
inside of him at the way his wife and son had been living for
the past three years. This was his family home; all of his
childhood toys must be here somewhere.
Tanner excused himself a very short time later. Stacy was
surprised to see him go so suddenly, but she was thankful for
their brief time. She would have been even more thankful if
she'd known that he was ordering the house servants at Winsow
to ready the nursery for Drew while he and Stacy were at
Bracken.
"Oh, Sunny, you should have seen his face when he saw
Drew. I thought my heart would break."
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"He didn't question his parentage at all?"
"No," Stacy answered and went ahead to tell her the entire
story. "God is so good," Stacy said as she finished.
"How about the verses; were they an encouragement?"
Sunny's voice said she hoped they had been.
'"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands
that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the
word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they
behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear; whose
adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the
hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel, but let
it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible,
even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. First Peter 3:1-4.'"
"I can't believe you memorized those verses," Sunny said
in amazement.
"I cling to them," Stacy told her, "and it's been such a
comfort. But my favorite verse isn't with those. It's at the
middle of chapter three. 'For the eyes of the Lord are over the
righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers; but the
face of the Lord is against them that do evil.'"
"You challenge me, Stacy. I haven't memorized a verse in
several weeks."
"Oh, Sunny, I think God understands. You said that Preston
had a cold and then you and then Sterling. I think at times
like that you have to concentrate on the verses you already
know."
Sunny's brow drew down in a mock frown. "I thought
when we studied that I would be teaching you. I really needed
to hear that, Stacy. Thank you."
Stacy smiled. "There is so much I don't know, Sunny, and
I'm still too timid. I haven't even told Tanner about my conversion.
I need boldness."
"Has there been an opportunity to tell him?"
This gave Stacy pause. "Now that you mention it, I'm not
sure if there has. Maybe I need to give it more time."
259
"It sounds like you'll have the time. And don't forget your
verses so fast. Your life will show him better than words."
"Yes, it should. My pride rears its head, and I want to shout
at Tanner and defend myself. His words about not forgiving
me were hard to take, so I concentrated on his wanting a real
family. I've prayed about that for so long."
"Speaking of families, did you want to check on the boys?"
"Yes. Drew will be growing hungry soon."
"As will Sterling and Preston. We can have tea when
they're settled with lunch."
"Oh, Mumma," Drew cried when his mother appeared at
the nursery room door.
"Hello, my darling. Having fun?"
Drew ran to hug Stacy. "They have real boats!" His voice
was breathless with excitement. "Lots of boats!"
Stacy's grin was as large as her son's eyes.
"How about some lunch?" Sunny asked the gang, and they
responded loudly.
Stacy studied them as they moved out of the room and
down the hall. Sterling was a most handsome young lad,
sporting his father's dark hair and eyes. He was just short of
his sixth birthday. Preston was less than a year older than
Drew, and his hair was as dark as Drew'
s was fair. They were of
the same build, Preston being an inch or so taller, and both
were the picture of young health.
Since he was a little older, Sterling was inclined to be
more serious, whereas both Drew and Preston were in some
ways little more than babies. Sterling was wonderfully patient
with all of their antics, and Stacy had not as yet heard a cross
word between them.
After seeing that they were nicely settled, the Hawkesbury
nanny in attendance, Stacy and Sunny went to the small salon
for their tea.
260
They made themselves comfortable and talked as if Stad
had been back for years instead of weeks. The Duchessir
Cambridge had a small sandwich halfway to her mouth whc
her husband and Brandon walked into the room. Stacy,
pecting she might choke if she took a bite, replaced
sandwich and sat still while Tanner approached.
He bent as soon as he was near, grasped her jaw, arxi
kissed her. Stacy stared up into his face a moment, her own!
face still cupped in his hand, before speaking.j
"You could have ridden over with us. "Stacy prayed that he
was not checking up on her.
"In truth I was in need of a ride. My horse has been getting
fat of late. If you don't mind my company, however, I'll go back
with you."
"All right," Stacy smiled sweetly, the first real smile since
her husband had come for her. It was so reminiscent of their
first months as husband and wife that Tanner had a hard time
taking his eyes away. Only Brandon, coming to greet Stacy,
moved him on.
In the next few minutes, the men took seats and were
served tea. The conversation ran from one subject to the next
until Parks, head of housekeeping at Bracken, came to the
door.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, my lord," he said to Brandon.
"That's all right, Parks. What is it?"
"Nanny reports that young Lord Richardson bumped his
head while playing and is quite inconsolable."
Stacy began to rise.
"I'll go," Tanner told her. He moved to the door, Brandon
behind him.
"You look thunderstruck," Sunny commented when the
men left.
"I'm just surprised that he wanted to go."
"I guess I'm not. Whenever he visits here and the boys are
present, he always speaks to them with genuine interest. I
think he really loves children."
261
Sunny talked on, cutting off only when the men reap-
red,
Drew in his father's arms. He was not crying, but his
iir head lay on Tanner's shoulder and the evidence of tears
on his cheek. Tanner deliberately took the settee next to
icy and as soon as Drew saw his mother, he reached for her.
Stacy took him on her lap but looked down to see that he
[was smiling back at Tanner.
"You certainly don't look any worse for wear," Stacy commented
and looked for the bump. Some tears filled Drew's
eyes, but they did not spill.
"I believe it was quite minor." Tanner's voice was dry. His
son might have overreacted, but he was adorable while doing
it.
"I think what you really need is a nap," Stacy said.
Drew's lip quivered, but Stacy's voice was firm.
"You will not fuss about it, Drew. Now let's say goodbye to
Lord and Lady Hawkesbury."
Tanner came behind his wife and son to say his own
goodbyes, but he was rather preoccupied. Why hadn't it
occurred to him that Drew cried harder because he was tired?
He decided he could learn a lot about parenting from Stacy.
Tanner would have laughed at his own seriousness if he
could have seen Brandon's and Sunny's amused expressions
after he left. Of course, they would have been the first to admit that they had no idea what it was like not to meet your son until
he was three.
263
G/!lMi/~
As usual, stacywas starving. She had eaten a large dinner
and even enjoyed Tanner's presence in the process, but that
felt like hours ago. She tried to sleep, but it just wasn't going to
work. After fighting the urge for just a few minutes, she
decided to go to the kitchen. She knew the feeling and was
certain it would not go away.
With a decisive move, she threw the covers back and
reached for her wrapper. It came to her as she was leaving her
room that Tanner would simply ring for something, but Stacy's
relationship with the staff was only just slightly warmer now
than it had been when they first arrived
Cook, Price, and of course, Hettie were the only servants
who did not act as if they were doing Stacy a favor every time
she called on them. It was only when Drew needed something
that she was bold enough to speak up, which of course was the
very reason Stacy was walking toward the kitchen this late at
night, feeling rather clandestine about fixing herself a snack
while the rest of the mansion slept.
Tanner climbed the stairs rather late that night. He'd had
some figures to go over concerning a land deal he and Brandon
were involved in, and he'd not been satisfied with the
263
outcome. They had already talked of it several times and were
going to talk of it again in another few weeks. Tanner had
wanted the paperwork out of his head so that he could once
again concentrate on Drew and Stacy.
Tanner moved to Stacy's door. Each night before he went to
bed he would check on both her and Drew. He'd have much
preferred Stacy to join him in his own room, but that had not
yet happened She was growing less wary of him each day, and
he felt that given time they would once again live as man and
wife.
This didn't immediately erase all the past, but Stacy had a
good memory; she would not forget his reaction last time and
play him for a fool again. Tanner wondered briefly if she'd had
other men while in Middlesbrough and then realized that
such thoughts were dangerous. He shifted his mind away from
such visions as he soundlessly opened Stacy's door.
Tanner did not like finding her bed empty, but he remained
calm as he moved across to Drew's room. His heart was
silently telling Stacy that she had better be there. When she
was not, he decided to wake the entire house to look for her
but refrained from doing so until he checked the upstairs and
then made his way down the stairway.
She was not in the library or the gallery. He wondered if
he'd missed her somewhere on the second floor and was
actually halfway up the stairs when he thought of the kitchen.
He almost laughed. If Stacy were hungry she would never ring
for a servant. With a smile on his face he moved toward the
kitchen.
Lady Richardson had just finished an apple and was starting
on a piece of pie when Tanner came in the door. She froze,
a crumb of food at the corner of her mouth, and watched him
approach.
"It seems we have mice--tall, blonde mice."
"I was hungry," Stacy told him unnecessarily, still trying to
decide if she was in trouble.
264
"I can see that." Tanner used his handkerchief to wipe her]
mouth and then stood staring at her.1
"Don't stop on my account," he told her. "Go ahead and'
eat."
Stacy did so, but it was not easy with Tanner staring at her!
His gaze was warm as he watched her. He even pulled a chair
up, so his eyes were level with hers.
"Would you like something?" Stacy asked
"To eat? No, thank you."
Stacy finished her pie. "You're making me nervous," she
admitted, a small quiver in her voice.
"You're not afraid of me, are you?"
"I'm not sure what to say to that."
"You are afraid," he stated.
"Of our being together, no, but of my having you for a time
and then your pushing me away again, that terrifies me."
Surprisingly this did not anger Tanner. He looked as
though he understood. Unfortunately he felt no guilt over the
way he'd sent her away. In his mind he had been wronged. If
Stacy would only comport herself faithfully, he would care for
her all the days of her life. He felt whether or not she stayed
was all up to her.
Suddenly Tanner held out his hand. "Come here, Stacy"
was all he said. It was hardly an explanation, but Stacy went to
him when he reached for her. They kissed in the kitchen, and
she had no protest when Tanner lifted her and carried her
upstairs.
She had prayed long and hard about this time, wanting
with all of her heart to do what God would have her to do. Maybe, Stacy reasoned, this will be one more way to show
Tanner that my love has always been constant.
The next morning Tanner eased quietly out of bed, careful
not to wake Stacy. He stared down at her, thinking there
265
f wasn't a lovelier, more giving woman in all of England At this
moment he could almost believe her when she claimed that
he had misunderstood the scene at the Cractwells'.
With feather-soft movements he reached for his robe and
left the room. Stacy had come in with just a light wrapper on
the night before, so Tanner was headed to her room to find her
a robe. He didn't want her feeling at all uncomfortable when
she awakened.
Stacy's bed was as he'd seen it, covers thrown back and
left. There was no sign of her robe, so he lit the lantern and
went into her dressing room. He paid little attention to her