I never thought his past would look like that. I had pictured it that way countless times in the back of my mind, but seeing guilt overtake Sidney had brought it home like a blow from a sledgehammer. So this was the reality of it.
Clouds overcast the sky, and the sea was a noisy, rushing roar, a barely-visible blanket of night water as I sat down on one of the shore's big rocks. I remembered doing the same on the Penmarrow's beach, watching stars with Sidney my first week in Cornwall. The night of a different party at the hotel, a different kind of heartache for myself, but the same night that I began my complete and utter fall into love with Sidney, although I pretended it wasn't true at the time.
I knew that despite the wounds of the past, Sidney loved me. And he could trust that emotion was real when it came to me also. Even if this episode somehow turned out to be one that would hurt me, I still intended to care about him. I would, even if the worst news I could imagine followed.
Stars glimmered through as the clouds began to dissolve. I wiped the rain from my face, along with a tear that had managed to make its escape. I blinked at the sky, spotting familiar constellations, milky-blue wisps of cloud, a flash that might be the comet's tail if I were only looking to find it. Instead, I saw my past self, full of hope and expectation in my search for the future here. Sidney's hand had painted a map of Cornwall and Port Hewer with the stars as his compass points as he lay gazing up at them. Despite my confusion and melancholy, it brought a brief smile to my lips, because it had been the beginning of so many things.
And if we both didn't. Which meant moving on with our lives.
If. What a terrible word that can be.
Deep breath, slow release. I wrapped my arms around my legs, and rested my head on my knees. No matter what happened next, it would be okay, I told myself. And it would be.
But there was one thought beating its rhythm under the surface, which would not go away no matter how I tried to make it. What if Sidney's secret meant the end for us?
Just one more book before Maisie’s deepest questions are finally answered…find the pre-order for the eighth and final book in the series HERE