One way to shut up an obnoxious, loud-mouthed, male chauvinist pig. That's all I'll tell you. Click the blue below to see why. Here it suffices to say that the story is short and free. Why read a summary when with little more effort you can read the whole thing? If you can't spare a moment more, you shouldn't be wasting time reading fiction anyway. Go back to work!"One can not judge a book by its cover." So we are told. But a cover is usually the only thing a reader has to base a judgment on. Smashwords tries to aid readers by providing summaries, one short, one long, for each book it distributes. For non-fiction this works well. But this, it seems to me, defeats the whole purpose of fiction. After all, one reads a story to find out what will happen. It’s the uncommon twists and turns that make a story interesting. But if a summary has told all this beforehand, what fun is to be had in the reading? Therefore, no summary of the present short story is given. It's short and it’s free! So read the whole thing and see if you like it. I ask you to do this because I think it is the best book judging method. To find fiction you like you must first read around enough to learn something of the style and stories of different authors. Then you can judge books, not by their cover, but by the your opinion of the writer. I'd like to help you do this. The present short story is one of several which I will make available free at Smashwords. Read a few (or all of them) and decide if you like them. It won't cost you a dime. If you like them, you can then purchase some of my not free (but still inexpensive) longer stories. All these stories are of one particular kind. To reflect this similarity all have the same cover picture, the Kitty & Rose shown above. So after you’ve read a few, you can, in fact, judge them by their cover. The common theme of the Kitty & Rose stories is human sexuality. This is not unusual. Most fiction concerns sex in one way or another; ranging from romances so sedate and demure an extraterrestrial could never know sex is at the root of everything described, to erotica so unrestricted even an extraterrestrial might blush. Kitty & Rose stories are in the middle of this range. All deal with human sexuality, but none do so explicitly. Rather, they are seemly. The dictionary gives three meanings for seemly: Attractive or agreeably fashioned; Decorous or conventionally proper; and Appropriate or suited to its purpose. With respect to appropriateness, seemly sex stories range from the humorous to the inspirational, but all concern human sexuality. So they are clearly appropriate. These stories are also seemly in the decorous and conventionally proper sense. For, while they treat sex candidly, they do not do so graphically. There is nothing pornographic nor erotic in any seemly sex story. Of course, different persons’ opinions about this may differ. A few consider frank pornography decorous. At the opposite extreme are those like the abbot of the monastery where the great biologist Gregor Mendel did his epochal research. This abbot thought Mendel’s studies were decidedly indecorous because they involved the sex of pea plants! Finally, there is the principal sense of seemly, attractive and agreeably fashioned. Like every author I exert my every effort and ability trying to make these stories seemly in this regard. But like every author, I must await your determination of the degree of my success. Since both of us will be pleased if you find them attractively seemly, I very much hope you do.Happy reading!BobbyBP.S. This is Kitty & Rose short story 10, uploaded 2-27-17.

When you read a novel by Rosamunde Pilcher you enter a special world where emotions sing from the heart. A world that lovingly captures the ties that bind us to one another-the joys and sorrows, heartbreaks and misunderstandings, and glad, perfect moments when we are in true harmony. A world filled with evocative, engrossing, and above all, enjoyable portraits of people's lives and loves, tenderly laid open for us... At twenty-seven, Virginia Keile had been through the most intense experiences life had to offer-a magical first love ending in heartbreak, a suitable marriage, motherhood, and widowhood. All she wanted now was to take her daughter and son to a seaside cottage and help them recover. But Virginia's true love was there, waiting, hoping, praying that this time she would be strong enough to seize happiness.

She had survived, but she is still held captive… Of her memories, her loneliness, her delusions. But are they truly delusions? The survivor of a college dorm massacre, a woman accused of her lover’s murder, Madeline Hewitson is haunted by ghosts and tormented by a killer only she can see. At night, she works, writing and drawing the monster that slithers through her imagination, and living in fear of those moments when the doors of her mind unhinge and her nightmare lives in the daylight. A seasoned military veteran, Jacob Denisov lives alone in his small, darkened home, sleepless, starving, and angry. Every day he lives with the guilt that comes from his own failures and the carnage that followed. When neighbor Madeline Hewitson drives her car through the front wall of his house, she breaks his house—and his life—wide open. Forced to view the world outside, Jacob watches Maddie, recognizes a kindred spirit and wonders what she fears more than herself. Has someone caught her in a twisted labyrinth of revenge and compassion, guilt and redemption, murder and madness? When Maddie's imaginary killer takes form, she fights back. But will she be strong enough to triumph, or is the killer she fears no more than a shadow, an illusion…that watches?

Can Kink heal a Broken Heart? Detective Andi Sugarbaker is going to find out…the hard way. Searching for the source of the deadly new date rape drug, Please, Andi and her partner, Viktor Saltanov, must go undercover at the infamous Age Play resort, called simply The Institute. Here at The Institute, time is rolled back and Andi finds herself forced to relive painful trauma from her past in order to pursue her case. Meanwhile, her partner is showing a whole new side of himself that Andi never dreamed existed. Born and bred in Mother Russia, Viktor Saltanov is 6’5, muscular, and as stoic as they come. But now he has become Andi’s sole support, protector…and disciplinarian. Letting her partner spank her and touch her in ways she never dreamed of is slowly breaking down Andi’s defenses, taking her to a vulnerable place inside she’s been trying to suppress for years. Can the two of them navigate the traitorous maze of lies and deception and find a deeper truth about themselves? Or will their experience at The Institute destroy their relationship forever?

The Next Chapter in Christy Miller's Unforgettable Life! More than a million readers have picked up books in the The Christy Miller Series making Robin Jones Gunn's newest series, Christy and Todd: The College Years, an eagerly awaited continuation to Christy's life. Featuring longer reads and college-age characters, these books will meet the enjoyment of readers young and old. As You Wish is the second book of the series following the well-received Until Tomorrow. In As You Wish, Christy is finally back in the country after finishing her year abroad. Together with her friends at Rancho Corona University her junior year is everything she's hoped for--sharing a dorm with her best friend and seeing Todd every day. But then the painful break-up of her friends' marriage causes Christy to pull back and seriously evaluate her deepening relationship with Todd. Above all, she wants to be clear on what God wants her to do with her future before she makes a lifelong commitment to anyone. Naturally, everyone has advice for Christy's life, including Sierra, Uncle Bob, and even her younger brother. The most helpful guidance, however, comes from a surprising source. Will Christy and Todd at last become engaged? Does life ever turn out as we wish it would?

Once, a witch made a pact with a devil. The legend says they loved each other, but can the story be trusted at all? Long ago, a village made a bargain with the devil: to ensure their prosperity, when the Slaughter Moon rises, the village must sacrifice a young man into the depths of the Devil’s Forest. Only this year, the Slaughter Moon has risen early. Bound by duty, secrets, and the love they share for one another, Mairwen, a spirited witch; Rhun, the expected saint; and Arthur, a restless outcast, will each have a role to play as the devil demands a body to fill the bargain. But the devil these friends find is not the one they expect, and the lies they uncover will turn their town—and their hearts—inside out.

Kate Appleton needs a job. Her husband has left her, she’s been fired as a magazine editor, and she only wants to go to her parents’ summer house, The Nutshell, in Keene’s Harbor, Michigan, and make a Bed and Breakfast inn. Matt Culhane needs a spy in his brewery for a saboteur, and Kate is new in town. But Kate despises beer and nobody trusts her.

The stunning North American Woman series concludes with this sexy tale of a revolutionary hero and the alluring Tory colonist who is forced to marry him. Red-hot desire burns in the two lovers who trust each other only as far as the bedroom.

After having her heart broken by the man who promised to love her forever, Erin is certain it will never heal. But a chance meeting with a man who comes into her life like a blazing light in the dark night might be able to change her mind. It fact, he knows the terrible heartache she suffers and seems to know exactly how to help her forget all the pain.Wannabe actress Stevie Stone had to earn some fast money. Harriet Hollywood’s Repossession Company seemed like an easy gig, you grab the stuff and go. What could go wrong? Turns out, a lot. Now someone wants her dead. With the help of Hector her mothering partner with a donut obsession, she tries to outwit her assassins. To complicate matters, her over protective ex-boyfriend, Bryan, who just happens to be the assistant district attorney, goes to any length short of locking her up to protect her. The chaos continues when Stevie meets Manuel who becomes her reluctant mentor and sometimes life saver, who in all likelihood is a contract killer, or just a hot guy who is very handy with a gun. Stevie has to race against time as the hit man wants his payday and will stop at nothing to ensure she ends up dead.

Life and Love in Alaska, Volume 2. Tina has been putting up with no running water on their farm for over twelve years. Jimmy gets her out of the house for a week. His aim is to build a bathroom for his wife. Nothing and no one will sidetrack his surprise for his wife, and that includes teen angst and broken equipment.Tina has been putting up with no running water on their farm for over twelve years. Jimmy gets her out of the house for a week. His aim is to build a bathroom for his wife. Nothing and no one will sidetrack his surprise for his wife, and that includes teen angst and broken equipment.A self-described 'red-neck, dirt farmer, Jimmy is smarter than he looks. The country boy knows how to keep his wife happy, and Tina appreciates his efforts.Life and love in Alaska can take some real twists and turns.

**-Reading Order- 1 - KILLING SARAI 2 - REVIVING IZABEL 3 - THE SWAN & THE JACKAL 4 - SEEDS OF INIQUITY 5 - THE BLACK WOLF 6 - BEHIND THE HANDS THAT KILL 7 - SPIDERS IN THE GROVE** Victor Faust’s new Order is growing. Business is good as there is no rest for the wicked in an underground world of hardcore criminals and contract killing. Relationships among the operatives have changed little over the past year—but things are about to change now, and all six high-ranking members of the new Order will be blindsided by an unlikely enemy. Loved ones whose only ties to Victor’s organization are their relationships with its members, are abducted. The price to get them back safely—the six must confess their deepest, darkest secret to this mysterious young woman named Nora, who is as deadly as she is beautiful, and who seems to know more about each of them than they know about each other. And although no one has any clue about who Nora really is, it becomes clear that she also isn’t who she appears to be. So much more is at stake than secrets and the lives of innocent loved ones; with each member that Nora forces to confess, the truth about their dark pasts and their present objectives will cast suspicion, pit some against each other, and may tear others apart. Before the game is over everyone will know who this woman is and why she is here, but the damage she will leave in her wake could be the beginning of the new Order’s destruction. Whose dark secret will be the darkest of all? And can Victor’s Order survive any of them?

Join Betsey, the little girl with big ideas, as she surprises everyone on her birthday, learns to be a guard dog, moves house and even becomes a TV star in these four warm and funny adventures. This book is one of five short story collections featuring Betsey from Children's Laureate, Malorie Blackman, beautifully illustrated by Jamie Smith, and ideal for building confidence in young readers.

A Cinderella who spends her nights as a wolf. A prince with a taste for blood. Seventeen year old Cydney struggles against her werewolf nature, trying to keep everyone around her safe. No way will she risk exposing the beast at the prince's ball, no matter how her two cousins try to persuade her. As she attempts to carve out some semblance of a life, Cydney can't forget the boy she loved three summers ago - or what she did to him after losing control. Turned into a vampire to save his life, the prince refuses to live up to his royal duties. He just wants to find the girl he loved and lost...the werewolf girl who bit him. But his father, the king, commands him to attend a ball where he must choose a wife. Can he find his Cinderella before he's forced to marry another? He doesn't even have her real name, much less a glass slipper.

In the ninth installment of Lauren Willig's bestselling Pink Carnation series, an atrocious poet teams up with an American widow to prevent Napoleon's invasion of England. Secret agent Augustus Whittlesby has spent a decade undercover in France, posing as an insufferably bad poet. The French surveillance officers can't bear to read his work closely enough to recognize the information drowned in a sea of verbiage. New York-born Emma Morris Delagardie is a thorn in Augustus's side. An old school friend of Napoleon's stepdaughter, she came to France with her uncle, the American envoy; eloped with a Frenchman; and has been rattling around the salons of Paris ever since. Widowed for four years, she entertains herself by drinking too much champagne, holding a weekly salon, and loudly critiquing Augustus's poetry. As Napoleon pursues his plans for the invasion of England, Whittlesby hears of a top-secret device to be demonstrated at a house party at Malmaison. The catch? The only way in is with Emma, who has been asked to write a masque for the weekend's entertainment. Emma is at a crossroads: Should she return to the States or remain in France? She'll do anything to postpone the decision-even if it means teaming up with that silly poet Whittlesby to write a masque for Bonaparte's house party. But each soon learns that surface appearances are misleading. In this complicated masque within a masque, nothing goes quite as scripted- especially Augustus's feelings for Emma.

Barely escaping from her abusive past with a vicious face scar, 19-year-old Mia wants nothing more than to start over fresh in a big city like San Francisco. She won’t let anybody get close - not that anyone would want to. But when handsome, ethereal Darius Montclaire rescues Mia from a nightclub sleaze, he pulls her into the world of Alchemists - where creating fire from nothing and making potions to erase memories is commonplace. Alchemy isn’t possible without Azoth - a holy energy found in the blood of female descendants of Nicholas Flamel. Mia has the strongest Azoth seen in centuries. Darius craves her body, but when she’s assigned to be his Azoth, he learns to lust for her heart. But Darius has a secret of his own. And Mia’s past won’t let her love ever again. He’s flawless. She’s broken.