A poet, his aunt, Stephen Fry and a peacock you might like to meet, but probably wouldn't want to play Strip Monopoly with. Bulgakov, Gogol...Spraints.A poet, his aunt, Stephen Fry and a peacock you might like to meet, but probably wouldn't want to play Strip Monopoly with. Bulgakov, Gogol...Spraints. Don't have nightmares.

"What I want you to do," said Mr. George Wright, as he leaned towards the old sailor, "is to be an uncle to me." "Aye, aye," said the mystified Mr. Kemp, pausing with a mug of beer midway to his lips. "A rich uncle," continued the young man, lowering his voice to prevent any keen ears in the next bar from acquiring useless knowledge. "An uncle from New Zealand, who is going to leave me all 'is money."

When AI specialist Charlie Parish lands a dream job getting paid to develop a computer program capable of learning from mistakes, there’s just one problem. The program goes rogue, and everything starts to go right.Charlie Parish is a damned clever scientist with a promising career in Artificial Intelligence ahead of her. She lands a dream job getting paid to develop a computer program capable of gathering knowledge, reasoning solutions, and learning from mistakes. There’s just one problem. When Charlie lets her creation loose on the world, it does exactly what it is designed to do ...... and that’s when everything starts to go right.This is the latest stand-alone short story from the pen of J-L Heylen. It was first published on J-L's blog as a 9 part serialised story, but has now been integrated and edited into novella form. There is a bonus, previously unpublished, epilogue.Like most of J-L's work, there is some strong language and adult themes. There is no sex in this one though.

You've seen them everywhere. Those little plastic googly eyes that turn everyday objects into adorable faces. Maybe you've seen them stuck to a poster, turning a regular photograph into an amusing parody of itself, but all this time, I bet you never suspected the sinister history of this simple folk art stable. Now the true story can be told. It's a tale of friendship, crafting supplies…and murderWhen Anne Wheaton and Bonnie Burton stumble upon a murdered man in a back alley, the police suspect them of committing the crime. Now they must work together to clear their names. Follow the adventures of Anne and Bonnie as they get into trouble on the mean streets of San Francisco. For the uninitiated, VandalEyes refers to the act of adorning everyday objects with those little plastic googly eyes you find in craft stores. The practice first came to my attention in early 2012 when Bonnie, along with Kiala Kazebee, Veronica Belmont, and Felicia Day, began the Vaginal Fantasy Book Club. As a consequence of those Hangouts, I started following Bonnie's Twitter feed, and later found Anne's account and the #VandalEyes hashtag. The random nonsense there eventually spawned its own website, vandaleyes.net, to which I may have submitted a few pictures. When Anne Wheaton and Bonnie Burton posed for Cupcake Quarterly Magazine in May of 2013, they made the mistake of posting pictures of themselves in retro hairstyles on their Twitter accounts. I immediately photoshopped those pictures to look like a noir book cover and sent it in to the VandalEyes tumblr. Later, when I looked at that picture again, I thought that it ought to have a story to go with it. This is that story.

As the years mount one’s outlook on life can mellow, and oft with this comes an inclination to rail less vigorously against the elements (you might say), to see one's failures in a softer light and to be less reticent in trumpeting one's triumphs – though softly still and with elemental decorum. So let me open the door on my private life and affairs the merest fraction and I’ll tell you a story…Are you looking for a kid's or children's book that is highly entertaining, great for early readers, and is jam-packed with bedtime stories, jokes, games, and more? This children's storybook has it all!Finley is a shy fish. He has a hard time making friends because he is so shy, but his best-friend Barney is always by his side. Follow the adventures of Finley and Barney! This is an excellent read for beginning and early readers. Each story is easy to read and exciting. Cute and bright illustrations for younger readers and a free coloring book.This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and read aloud at home.* Fun games and puzzles included* Excellent for beginning and early readers* Cute short stories that are great for a quick bedtime story* Funny and hilarious jokes & illustrations for kidsThis story is great for a quick bedtime story and to be read aloud with friends and family.WHAT A GREAT DEAL! => 5 FUN STORIES, JOKES, GAMES, ACTIVITIES, AND A COLORING BOOK!Your child will be entertained for hours!

On his first afternoon in Mexico, George finds himself at a beach bar frequented by strange characters with even stranger pasts. As happy hour progresses, George's mood turns from confusion to disbelief. Who are these people? A Hawaiian Shirt in Mexico is a surreal ride for anyone who has looked at a bad invention and wondered, "why?"How strong is love?Does it have the power to reach across the centuries and bring life where there was none? Does it have the power to bring together two unlikely people who have never spoken to each other?In this short story, the magic of unspoken love creates life where only stone had been before.

This scarce antiquarian book is a facsimile reprint of the original. Due to its age, it may contain imperfections such as marks, notations, marginalia and flawed pages. Because we believe this work is culturally important, we have made it available as part of our commitment for protecting, preserving, and promoting the world's literature in affordable, high quality, modern editions that are true to the original work. --This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition. --This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Ten short stories, including The Monkey Faced Boy, The Holey Oak, The Accidental Bank Job,The Horse that ran with the Wind and others. A mixed bag of tales ideal for reading on a plane or in a train. Gentle humour, a touch or sci fi, and a twist at the end.Presley is a troubled teenager who lives in the sleepy rural small Midwestern town of Lock Springs, Missouri. She has a myriad of family problems. Her father is dead and her mother is a selfish alcoholic who leaves Presley to fend for herself. With a lack of guidance and support she turns to her popular but narcissistic boyfriend, Tyler, to find love. Desperate for love and affection she struggles with his blatant unfaithfulness. Presley finds solace in writing music and playing her guitar. She uses her music as an outlet to express her complex teenage emotions as she tries to make sense of her life. Presley is confused and depressed until she visits a mystical place in another dimension far away from home. She encounters spirits and ghosts including many that want her dead. She meets spiritually advanced beings from another world and from another time. In this other world she meets Jesse, a guy that falls madly in love with her. Confused by his impulsive love, he helps her to unlock the mysteries of her secretive past that open her mind to endless possibilities about her world. This paranormal tale is full of mystic adventure along with a deep spiritual love story filled with passion that will connect with young girls and young women. Just as Presley begins to unravel her startling past she is faced with a heart wrenching decision. She could go back home to her lonesome life or she could stay in this other world with Jesse- along with the evil spirits who want her soul. It’s full of twists and turns that will keep the reader intrigued until the end.

Dating can be full of mystery, fun, disappointment, humor, joy, suspense, romance, and heartbreak—sometimes all in one date! Readers will enjoy these sometimes exhilarating, sometimes touching, sometimes funny, and sometimes embarrassing stories of the author’s real life experiences. Many of them have a surprise ending because on a date, as in life, you never know what might happen!Liliana Dapprima was living her life exactly how she planned. She had an amazing job as an interior designer and lived with her best friend, Violet, in Toronto. But, everything changes when her father forces her to move to New Jersey to re-design his businesses in New York City. Upon her arrival in New Jersey she finds out she must live with her old flame, Emilio Amante. This was the man that completely smashed her heart from which she never recovered. Now she must get along with Emilio while trying to date a new guy in her life, Lucas. And to make things more complicated Emilio is Lucas’s boss. Dealing with a love triangle is hard enough on Lily, but now she also must deal with secrets from her family. She is constantly lied to about certain events and when she gets attacked multiple times by a rival family, she wants answers and will go to any extent to get them.

A parody of Eliot's 'The Waste Land'. The usual use of irony, reversal of intent, some condescending views on Ezra Pound and T. S. Eliot. Sometimes the poem goes off in a tangent, adding whole scenes not specific to the original work. Must be sure to vary from the text to protect copyrights infringement cases against parody. Thanks to Mr. Eliot and Pound and relatives for framework in any case.A brief preface questions validity of parody, limitations of quality of work. The opus contains the five parts of the original. It is a bit longer than the original poem parodied. There is a brief prologue suggestive of something or other. In place of waste and despair, I create a work of salvation and hope, but within context of modern London vices and world vices. Some tawdry people are in the work as the English would say, as there were tawdry people in the original. It is more an entering paradise with lingering detritus of the present age cropping up. I hope you enjoy it. It is certainly easier to rip off other people than create your own work from scratch. This assumes anything is really from scratch, a dubious all but certainly misguided assumption.

Take one recently fired woman, add to that two pesky daughters, one opera singing sister, two good-looking men, one murder investigation, and a boxful of Dove Ice Cream Bars. Then, generously stir with a seedy strip club, throw in a .45 Magnum and a dash of Bojangles' cajun seasoned fries and you have a Dish of Disaster!What Does a Strip Club, a Dead Man and a Dove Ice Cream Bar All Have in Common?Peaches DonnellyPeaches has a major problem: she's just been fired.Unaccustomed to filling her days with nothingness, she embroils herself toute suite in the recent murder of a childhood friend.However, standing between her and the solving of this heinous crime are two pesky daughters, a selfish opera singer sister, the diet from hell and two sexy men she can't resist.Add to this bubbling pot a hasty decision to go undercover as a stripper and you have a story rife with drama, laughs and a little dash of danger.Follow Peaches and the always funny cast of characters in this first installment of a rollicking series of cozy mysteries.

Seems like a cash deposit, an unlimited expense account, and a mark he doesn’t even have to kill would make for a pretty good day…but then it’s never a good day to be PeeDee3. His client, his mark, and the gigantic nudge he’s been saddled with are Pachydwerps, the most manipulative species in the galaxy, and each of them has their own agenda. This is going to be a painful molt.PeeDee3, Season 1, Episode 6One of the wealthiest beings in the universe’s darling daughter is missing and he’s hired PeeDee3 to find her and he doesn’t even have to kill her. Looks like a good day to be an intergalactic, insectiod assassin…but then it’s never a good day to be PeeDee3. Seems his current client, his mark, and the gigantic nudge he’s been saddled with are all Pachydwerps, one of the universes’ most manipulative species, and each of them has their own agenda. Nestled between these strategizing goliaths and his paycheck floats a Radioactive Lunar Jellyfish brandishing a switchblaster, an upturned collar, and a bad attitude. Maybe the bug’s discounted the advantages of having a brain once too often.

Three Welsh Pymke Pixies find themselves delivered to a suburban Seagull City backyard, much to the delight of Zoe, Sarah and Laura, a triplet trio of tumultuous tangental trouble.Join Spanglebean on his tour-de-force of existential self-discovery as he brainstorms a unique cosmology from his perspective within the confines of a quite large garden fence.What readers are saying about this book:"I had a Welsh Pymke Pixie once, and I never ever heard it swear.": Gordon Ramsay"The 'Big Bunnings Theory'? Mitre 10 was here WAY before them!": Stephen Hawking"I didn't understand Shakespeare when I was young, either.": John Bell"Rex, I know how you feel.": Banjo the dog."We are currently investigating this situation VERY carefully.": RSPCA, in co-operation with the Homeless Dog Welfare Society

A science fiction story about a man who overhears something.Molly only takes chances while driving. Life burned her, and she isn’t ready to open herself up to new wounds. Louis, Lou for short, knows more about the woman than she likes. When she discovers Lou crewed with her dead husband, Molly wonders how much Davis Lee told his shipmate about her. He’s supposed to be her muscle to facilitate an aircraft engine exchange. It’s a business trip into the wilds of Alaska that has them cooped up in a truck for days. Where will their road talk take them?

“MaryJanice Davidson’s Undead series is laugh-out-loud funny.”—*Heroes and Heartbreakers* New York Times bestselling author MaryJanice Davidson is back. So is Betsy Taylor, “everyone’s favorite vampire queen” (Bitten by Books) and this time Betsy’s going viral… If Betsy Taylor has learned anything about ruling Hell it’s: 1) she can't do it alone, and 2) she doesn’t have to.  She’s got the help of a devoted vampire king, a dateless zombie, an exhausted new mom, an unshowered cop, a bitchy ghost, a kindly dead priest, and her late stepmother (“Go Team Satan!”).  But the latest major hurdle in her post-dead life is so big she can’t even see it until it’s on CNN. Betsy’s father and half-sister Laura (a former Anti-Christ with a grudge) have outed Betsy to the world. It doesn’t take long for the story to become 24-7 headline news. What’s more, people are not only prepared to believe in vampires, they want to kill them. For Betsy, social media has never felt so…unsocial. Before long the mansion on Summit Avenue is swarming with reporters, would-be vampire/zombie killers, and desperate emos begging to be turned. Betsy has been forced into the unenviable role as the reluctant face of the vampire nation. All she knows is, she has to look good—this is hi-def!—and stay true to who she is. H8ers be damned.