"I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws, busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes, all tiny Third World countries that don't have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don't find out), a sound dollar, and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country. . . well, a real bad hangover." "To say that P. J. O'Rourke is funny is like saying the Rocky Mountains are scenic-accurate but insufficient. At his best he's downright exhilarating . . . Republican Party Reptile is as rambunctiously entertaining as a greased pig catching contest. If you can find a funnier writer than P. J. O'Rourke, buy him a brandy,...

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Did you ever see a monkey? If you have not, I suppose you will like to hear a description of Jacko, Minnie’s sixth pet. He was about eighteen inches high, with long arms, covered with short hair, which he used as handily as a boy, flexible fingers, with flat nails, and a long tail, covered with hair, which seemed to answer the purpose of a third hand. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

To get to him, I need to use her. I’ll play her like a violin and have her falling in love with me before she even knows what’s happening. It will be easy. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. She’s just a girl. A tool to get what I want. When I’m done with her I won’t think twice about walking away. At least, that was what I thought. Until I met her.

Connor was very sure that there were no instructions available for what you should do when you figured out that your ex wanted to control the world (he had looked). There was only one option; he would have to stop her himself. That had been the plan, but it was turning out that he wasn't as alone as he had thought."Traditional publishing ruined my life!"Many writers tell tales of the horrors of writing for a traditional book publisher. None are quite like Under Contract.Under Contract reveals the long-buried tale of Craig Hansen’s secret past as a contract writer working for a traditional print publisher, and everything that led to his long, twenty-year silence before emerging last year as an independent author.It’s a tale that never needed to be told, probably shouldn’t have been told, yet against all legal advice, common sense, and wisdom, has now been told.So, did Craig Hansen survive a secret past as a contract writer for a traditional publisher, or is he full of cherry smoothie? Decide for yourself.Featuring heavy doses of horror and satire with a metafiction boost, Under Contract is a standalone short story and is intended for older readers.Craig Hansen is the author of the young adult novel, Most Likely, and the young adult novella, Shada. He lives in Oregon where he is currently working on his next books, a horror novel for older readers, EyeCU; and the young adult novel, Ember, the follow-up to Shada.

Tried by War: Abraham Lincoln as Commander in Chief, by McPherson, James M.

In early 1974, a pregnant Andrea Steedman leaveshome to conceal the birth of her daughter MaryTherese. A few months after she has given birth,depressed and confused, she agrees to an adoptionunder highly irregular circumstances.Twenty two years later on her deathbed, Andreareveals the existence of her daughter to her wealthy brother Warwick, who promises to find Mary Therese.Ken Blowers has developed a firm following of readers from the first three collections in his continuing set of Short Stories. Now he entices old friends and new to the world of mystery and intrigue in perfect bite size pieces for ‘Smoko’. You can join Ken for ‘Smoko at East Seaham’ and be transported across time in a short space of time to tales of merriment, mystique and manslaughter!Yet again Ken entertains readers with a smattering of subjects across a smattering of suburban settings to take us on a short journey out of our humdrum day. This volume of short stories covers everything from the perils of online communication to touching insights of loving relationships and as usual, has something to offer everyone. All you need to do is be ready for the unexpected (like any good Scout!) and you will survive the rollercoaster ride of reading Ken’s latest offering.With ‘Smoko At Seaham’, your ‘appetite’ is assured of being well and truly sated as you keep up with Ken's next compelling volumes of short stories, with the next one coming soon…

A schoolboy has second thoughts about allowing a bully to intimidate him.You've never, ever read a book like this.When a sexually-transmitted plague breaks out in Ashley Young's small town, leaving its victims with a bizarrely amplified libido, everything about her life changes. DEAD IN BED is partly a suspense thriller with a strikingly original story, partly a page-turning mystery about a disease that makes people hopelessly crave sexual contact, and partly a neo-western adventure in the American heartland. For anyone who can handle a smart, controversial female protagonist who's willing to do anything - no matter how difficult or morally questionable - in order to survive, the series pulls readers in like an unshakeable addiction.. . . Bailey Simms, teen author of DEAD IN BED, is stuck at home with a rare medical condition. Writing is her only escape, so she's determined to keep her salacious series hidden from her strict father. Soon an older boy starts to secretly help her, and Bailey finds new opportunities for freedom she's never had. But as DEAD IN BED grows in popularity, and Bailey's fans start to clamor for the sequel, she learns that being a successful author may come with a terrifyingly dangerous price.

Old and New Worlds clash in a farming community on the frozen Minnesota prairie. Can Seamus Tripp and the kids break a Norse witch's enchantment over the town? He's Seamus Tripp, Loremaster.When Seamus Tripp, world traveler extraordinaire, is delayed by a blizzard during a business trip across the Minnesota prairie, he reunites with an old friend and together they make a chilling discovery: an Old World witch is in the country, enchanting local politicians!But when Seamus, aided by his charge Elie Doolittle and his nephew Gordon, attempts to break the spell of the witch, she turns her powers on them, unleashing ancient curses and a legion of Norse zombies.Bundle up for a showdown that pits Seamus Tripp against the elemental cold of the northland winter and the ferocious power of a Viking witch!Seamus Tripp & the North Star Witch is an introductory short story to the world of Seamus Tripp. Many more full length novellas of The Adventures of Seamus Tripp are also available.

Mrs. Hobb's quilt patches together memories from her past.Mrs. Hobb's quilt patches together memories from her past. Mrs. Hobb's quilt patches together memories from her past. Mrs. Hobb's quilt patches together memories from her past. Mrs. Hobb's quilt patches together memories from her past. Mrs. Hobb's quilt patches together memories from her past. Mrs. Hobb's quilt patches together memories from her past.

A collaboration of tastefully written romantic poetry inspired by the great desire that burns in all romantic souls. A wonderful gift for lovers everywhere or for those who once knew love and lost it.Have you ever wanted to express the emotional highs and lows of romantic love but didn't have the words to say? Well look no more, 'Reflections from a Wounded Heart' is a romantic collaboration of sensual poetry written from a male and female perspective and covers the spectrum of love's ups and downs. Take a look inside and feel the passion and pain of love. Authors : alisajs and T. Owen Stark

Jig and Jag, who are eleven-year old twin sisters, are about to turn twelve-years old. Their brother Tag is about to turn eleven-years old. Their parents think they still need a babysitter. But they don't! No matter how hard they try to convince their parents that they are too old for a babysitter, everything backfires, until something unexpected happens.Jig and Jag, who are eleven-year old twin sisters, are about to turn twelve-years old. Their brother Tag is about to turn eleven-years old. Their parents think they still need a babysitter. But they don't! No matter how hard they try to convince their parents, everything backfires, until something unexpected happens. The action takes place during summer vacation. The kids go through five babysitter and a series of funny, foolish, and scary antics before an unexpected event changes everything into a special ending.A humorous story loosely based on real events. Penny Colman has written fiction for young readers for children's magazines. Her short story, "But Not Ms. Anderson," was nominated for the Paula A Witty Short Story Award, International Reading Association. Her fiction books are "I Never Do Anything Bad" and "Dark Closets and Noises in The Night."

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A set of framed tales in the fabulist style, influenced by authors such as Calvino and Borges and antique narrative traditions. A deathless wanderer helps a boy to the end of his story.How do you leave a room when the only door disappears and reappears at random, and moves away from you when you approach? How do you leave an endless void of darkness and silence? And when the only rule that governs the room is only one person may pass through the door?For Rebecca and Carter, leaving the void has an added complication: a creature of light stalking their every move. It encircles them, hidden by the vastness and darkness of the void, and striking without warning.For one of the souls within the void is an anomaly. One of them doesn’t belong. And only one of them can walk through the door that will eventually open.