"What time?" she asked, making notes.
Cal leaned against the counter, pulling me against him.
Jenna hung up the phone. "Okay. It starts at eight-fifteen,
so we should leave here around seven forty-five."
"Cool," said Matt
"So we've got some time. You guys want something to
drink?" asked Cal. He looked apologetic. "We have to keep the
noise down because my mom's having a circle in a while."
"What time do they usually start?" I asked.
"Not till ten or so," he answered. "But people come early,
hang out and talk, get caught up on their weeks."
"I wanted to tell your mom thanks again," I said.
"Oh, well, come on, then," he said, taking my hand. "You
can see her. We'll be right back," he told the others.
"Did you take the last Coke?" Sharon accused Ethan as we
left the kitchen.
"I'll split it with you," was his muffled reply.
Cal and I shared a grin as we walked through the foyer
and then through the formal living room and the more casual
great room. "There is definitely something happening there,"
he said, and I nodded.
"It'll be fun when they get together. Sparks will fly."
Cal gave two quick taps on the tall wooden door that led
to the huge room Selene used for her circles. Then he opened
it, and we walked in. It was quite different tonight than it had
been the night I'd arrived here alone, shaken and upset. Now it
was aglow with the light of at least a hundred candles. The air
was scented with incense, and there were people, both men
and women, standing around chatting.
"Morgan, dear, how nice to see you." Turning, I saw
Alyce, from Practical Magick. She was wearing a long, purple,
batik robe, and her silver hair was loose and hanging around
her shoulders.
"Hi," I said. I'd forgotten she belonged to Starlocket
Quickly I searched for David, the clerk who made me nervous.
He saw me and smiled, and I gave a tentative smile back.
"How are you?" Alyce asked, seeming to mean it as more
than just a polite question.
I thought. "Up and down," I said honestly.
She nodded as if she understood.
Cal had left my side for a moment, and now he returned
with his mother. She was also wearing a long, loose robe, but
hers was a brilliant red and painted with gold moons and stars
and suns. It was stunning.
"Hello, Morgan," she said in her rich, beautiful voice. She
took both my hands in hers and kissed both of my cheeks,
European style. I felt like royalty. She looked into my eyes and
then placed a hand on my cheek. After a few moments she
nodded. "It's been difficult" she murmured. "I'm afraid it will
be more difficult still. But you're very strong...”
"Yes," I surprised myself by saying clearly. "I am very
strong."
Selene Belltower gave me an assessing glance, then
smiled at me and at Cal as if in approval. He grinned back at his
mother and took my hand.
Her eyes swept the room then, and she focused on
someone.
"Cal, I want you to meet someone," she said, and there
was an undercurrent of something I didn't understand in her
voice.I followed her gaze and almost jumped a foot in the air
when I saw the same pale-haired girl that Bree and Raven had
met with in the cemetery. My mouth opened to say something,
but a tension in Cal's hand made me look up at him.
He had the most extraordinary look on his face. As best as
I can describe it, it was ... predatory. I barely controlled a
shiver. Suddenly I felt like I didn't know him at all.
I found myself following him as he crossed the room.
"Sky, this is my son, Cal Blaire," said Selene, introducing
them. "Cal, this is Sky Eventide."
Wordlessly Cal pulled his hand free from mine and held it
out to her. Sky shook it, her night dark eyes never leaving his
face. I hated her. My stomach clenched as I saw the appraising
way they looked at each other. I wanted to scratch her, tear at
her, and I drew in a shuddering breath.
Rowlands," he said. He called me his girlfriend, which was
mildly reassuring. Then her dark eyes were on me, like two
pieces of coal, and I shook her hand, feeling its strength.
"Morgan," said Sky. She was English, and she had an
incredibly musical, lilting voice, a voice that made me instantly
want to hear her chanting, spelling, singing rituals. Which
made me hate her more.
"Selene has mentioned you to me," said Sky. "I'm looking
forward to getting to know you."
Over my dead body, I thought, but forced my mouth to
stretch into something resembling a smile. I could feel Cat's
tension, feel his body next to mine as he looked at her and
practically drank her in with his eyes. Sky Eventide regarded
Cal calmly, as if she saw his challenge and would meet it
"I believe you know Hunter," she said, gesturing to
someone behind her, who had his back to us.
The person behind Sky turned, and I almost gasped. If
Sky was daytime, Hunter was sunlight His hair was a pale gold,
and he had fine, pale skin, with some freckles on his cheeks
and nose. His eyes were a wide, clear green, with no traces of
blue or brown or gray in them. He was stunningly good-
looking, and he made my stomach turn. Like Sky, I hated him
on sight, in a primitive, inexplicable way.
"Yes. I know Hunter," Cal said flatly, not extending his
hand.
"Cal," said Hunter. He met Cal's gaze, then turned to me. I
didn't smile. "And you are?"
I said nothing.
"Morgan Rowlands," Sky supplied. "Cal's girlfriend. Morgan,
this is Hunter Niall.”
Still I said nothing, and Hunter looked at me hard, as if
trying to see through to my skeleton. It reminded me of the
way Selene Belltower had first looked at me, but it caused no
pain. Only a strong urge to be away from these people. My
insides felt hollow and shaky, and I suddenly wanted
desperately to go back to the kitchen, to be just a girl waiting
to go to the movies with my friends.
"Hello, Morgan," Hunter said finally. I noticed that he was
English, too.
"Cal," I said, trying not to choke, "we have to go. The
movie." It wasn't true—we had nearly half an hour before we
had to go—but I couldn't stand another minute of this.
"Yes," he said, looking down at me. "Yes." He looked at
Sky again. "Have a good circle."
"We will," she said.
I wanted to run out of there. In my mind I wildly pictured
Sky and Cal kissing, twining together, wrestling on his bed. I
hated the jealousy I felt about him: I knew all too well how
destructive jealousy could be. But I couldn't help it.
"Cal?" asked Selene as we were almost at the door. "Do
you have a minute?"
He nodded, then squeezed my hand. "I'll be back in a
sec," he said, and walked over to his mom. I kept walking, out
the door, through the great room, through the living room and
into the foyer. Feeling hot and clammy, I couldn't face Jenna,
Matt, Sharon, and Ethan just yet. There was a powder room
down the hall from the foyer, and I locked myself in. Again and
again I splashed cold water on my face and cupped my hands
and drank some.
What was the matter with me? Slowly my breathing
calmed, and my face, despite its lingering, faint bruises, looked
pretty normal. In all of my life I had never had such a strong
reaction to anyone. Ever since Cal had first come to Widow's
Vale, my life had changed with huge, sweeping movements.
Finally I felt capable of seeing the others. Opening the
door, I headed down the hall to the kitchen.
But then my skin prickled. In another moment I heard
voices in the hall, low, murmuring. They were unmistakable:
Sky and Hunter. And they were coming toward me.
I shrank against the wall, trying to fade into the
woodwork, and suddenly I heard a click and fell backward.
Catching myself, I didn't tall, but gaped in surprise as I realized
there was a door hidden in the hallway.
Without thinking, hearing the voices grow closer, I
slipped farther into the room and closed the door with a tiny
snick. I leaned against it, my heart hammering, and listened as
the voices moved past, down the hall. I strained to concentrate
but couldn't make out any words. Why were Sky and Hunter
affecting me this way? Why did they fill me with dread?
Then they passed, their voices faded, and silence filled my
ears. I blinked and looked at my surroundings. Although I
hadn't even noticed the door in the hallway, in here it was
clearly outlined, and a small inset clearly showed me I could
get out again.
It was a study, Selene's study, I realized quickly. A large
library table in front of a window was draped with a tapestry
and held a display of various mortars, pestles, and pint-size
cauldrons. There was a sturdy leather couch, an antique desk
with a computer and printer, and tall, oak bookcases filled with
thousands of volumes.
The desk lamp was on, providing an intimate light, and I
found myself drifting toward the bookcases. For the moment I
forgot that my friends were waiting for me, that Cal had
probably returned, that we had to leave for the movie soon. It
all went out of my head as I started reading titles.
20. Knowledge
September 9, 1984
The child moves inside me all the time now. It is the most
magickal thing. I can feel her quicken and grow, and it is unlike
any other feeling. I sense that her powers will be strong.
Angus is after me to get married so the child will bear his
name, but something in me is reluctant. I love Angus, but I feel
separate from him. The people here think we are married
already and that is fine with me.
--M.R.
Angus just came in. He found a sigil on the fence post by
our driveway. Goddess, what evil has followed us here?
Selene Belltower had the most amazing library, and I felt
I would be content to be locked in it tor the rest of my life, just
reading, reading everything. The top shelves were so high that
there were two small ladders on tracks, library ladders, that
ran around the room on brass rungs.
In the dim light from the desk lamp I peered at the book
spines. Some books had no titles at ail, others were worn
down, some were stamped in silver or gold, and some had titles
that were simply written on the spine with a marker. Once or
twice I saw a book whose title appeared only when I was very
close: It glowed softly, like a hologram, and then disappeared
when I looked again.
I knew I should go. This was obviously Selene's private
place; I shouldn't be in here without her permission. But
couldn't I just sneak a quick peek at a book or two first?
Did I even have time? I glanced at my watch, which read 7:20.
We weren't leaving for the movies for almost a half hour.
Surely no one would miss me in the next five minutes. I could
always say I'd been in the bathroom....
The room was heavy and full with magick. It was
everywhere; I breathed it in as I inhaled, and it vibrated
beneath my feet as I walked.
Shaking, I read book titles. One whole bookcase held
what appeared to be recipe books: recipes for spells, for foods
that enhance magick, for foods appropriate for various
holidays. In the next case were books about spell making and
rituals. Some of the books looked ancient, with thin,
disintegrating covers that I was afraid to touch. Yet I longed to
read their yellowed pages.
Looking around at the wealth of magick contained in the
room, I thought of the Rowanwands, who were famous for
hoarding their knowledge and their secrets. Could Selene
Belltower be a Rowanwand? Cal had said he and his mother
didn't know which clan they were from, but maybe this library
was a clue. I wondered how I could get my hands on these
books. Would Selene lend them to me? Could Cal borrow them?
The books in the next case were labeled Black Arts, Uses
of black Magick, Dark Spells, even one called Summoning
Spirits. It seemed dangerous to even have such books in the
house, and I wondered why Selene had them. I felt a chill, and
suddenly I was even less sure that I should be in the study. I
turned to leave, but then I saw a narrow display case, with
glass shelves lit from below. Small marble cups held handfuls
of crystals and rocks of all kinds and color. I saw bloodstone,
tiger's eyes, lapis lazuli, turquoise. There were gems also,
polished and cut
It was incredible to me to have such materials at one's
disposal: The idea that Selene could walk into this room and
have in front of her everything she would need for almost any
kind of spell—it was just amazing.
This knowledge was what I hungered for, what I knew I
had to work for. My parents' dreams of my future, my old, half-
formed plans to become a scientist—those thoughts seemed
like smoke screens that would only hamper me in my real
work: becoming as powerful a witch as I could be.
I knew I had to leave, but I couldn't tear myself away. I'll
stay just five more minutes, I told myself as I moved across the
room to die other bank of bookcases. Oh, the covens were here,
I saw. Shelf after shelf of Books of Shadows. I took one down
and opened it, feeling like a lightning bolt might strike me
down at any second.
The book was heavy. I put it on the edge of Selene's desk.
Inside, the pages were yellowed and tattered, almost
crumbling at my touch. It was an ancient book—one entry was
dated 1502! But it was either in code or another language, and
there was no way for me to decipher it I put the book back.
I knew that I really had to get out of there and head back
to the others. I started thinking of what excuse I would use for
my disappearance. Would it be realistic if I said I got lost?
I moved sideways toward the door and bumped into a
library ladder. Without knowing why, I climbed it Up high, the
scent of dust and old leather and decaying paper was stronger.
Holding the ladder, I leaned close to the books, trying to read
in the faint light Covens in Ancient Rome. Theories of
Stonehenge. Rowanwand and Woodbane: From Prehistoric
Times Till Now.
I knew there wasn't enough time to read everything, to
linger and savor and devour as I ached to. I felt tormented by
the knowledge that these books were here and yet weren't
mine. A raging hunger had awoken in me, a craving for
Information, for learning, for enlightenment.
My fingertips skimmed the book spines, lingering on ones
that were harder to read. On one of the upper shelves I found a
dark red unmarked book tucked between two taller, thicker
books on early Scottish history. As I passed its spine my
fingers tingled. I brushed them over it again, forward and back.
Tingle. Grinning, I pulled it out It was too dark to make out its
title, so I climbed down the ladder and took the book closer to
Selene's desk.
Under the desk lamp I carefully opened the book to its
title page. Belwicket was written there in a beautiful, flowing
script I paused, the blood hammering in my ears. Belwicket.
That was my birth mother's coven.
Turning the page, I saw on the overleaf an inscription:
This book is given to my incandescent one, my fire fairy,
Bradhadair, on her fourteenth birthday. Welcome to Belwicket.
With love from Mathair.
My heart stopped, and my breath turned to ice inside my
lungs. Bradhadair. My mother's Wiccan name. Alyce had told
me. This was her Book of Shadows. But how could it be? It had
been lost after the fire, hadn't it? Could there be some other
Bradhadair, some other Belwicket?
Hands shaking I started skimming the entries. About
twenty pages in, "The whole town of Ballynigel turned out for
Beltane," I read silently. "I was too old to dance around the
maypole, but the younger girls did it and looked lovely. I saw
that Angus Bramson lurking by the bicycles, watching me like
he does. I pretended not to see him. I'm only fourteen, and
he's sixteen!
"Anyway, we had a lovely Beltane feast, and then Ma led
us in a gorgeous circle, out by the stone cliffs. —Bradhadair."
I tried to swallow but felt I was choking. I flipped through